Desperately in need of help

[Cassandra]

The man I love is allowing himself to be destroyed. He won't let me in. He won't even let me love him anymore. I feel like I'm fighting just being completely torn about. I've been both on the brink of descending into darkness or snapping and having a nervous breakdown. I don't know what to do. Once something very bad happened to him that lead him think he might have HIV/AIDS. I promised him that I would love him even if I had to be celibate for the rest of my life. This was the first guy I opened up to after being abused and raped/sodomized...now he won't do one simple thing for me. He won't try.

What do I do?

 

[salida]

I would sit down with him and ask him why is he shutting you out. I would tell him that you really love him and want to help. If he doesn't respond after attempting to try to get him to open up to you, then I would consider possibly distancing myself from him somewhat. (I'm not a counselor) - but one thing I know is that you can't keep going through this emotional abuse turmoil like this - it isn't fair to you at all. Plus, God doesn't like others abusing others. Are you a believer? You have been seeking? If you are, I would ask that you pray about this whole situation. Is he a believer? I guess I'm asking all this because christians believe that when one has the spirit of Christ in their life - they are filled with Gods unconditional love for others. How? By praying to God daily, and reading the Bible - therefore, choosing to live a life dedicated to God. Thus, human beings are like a glasses walking around waiting to be filled with Gods unconditional love. Our human efforts alone can't solve lifes problems in a long term way. And without Gods love people get angry at each other, fight, do selfish things toward each other, are greedy, self-righteous, etc. Gods love is eternal and doesn't end when we dedicate our life to God. One to think about is, Are You a Good Person? http://livingwaters.com/good

I can't help but be partial to your polish flag - my husband is half polish. Feel free to email me anytime. I will be praying for your situation.

 

[Cassandra]

I would sit down with him and ask him why is he shutting you out. I would tell him that you really love him and want to help. If he doesn't respond after attempting to try to get him to open up to you, then I would consider possibly distancing myself from him somewhat. (I'm not a counselor) - but one thing I know is that you can't keep going through this emotional abuse turmoil like this - it isn't fair to you at all. Plus, God doesn't like others abusing others. Are you a believer? You have been seeking? If you are, I would ask that you pray about this whole situation. Is he a believer? I guess I'm asking all this because christians believe that when one has the spirit of Christ in their life - they are filled with Gods unconditional love for others. How? By praying to God daily, and reading the Bible - therefore, choosing to live a life dedicated to God. Thus, human beings are like a glasses walking around waiting to be filled with Gods unconditional love. Our human efforts alone can't solve lifes problems in a long term way. And without Gods love people get angry at each other, fight, do selfish things toward each other, are greedy, self-righteous, etc. Gods love is eternal and doesn't end when we dedicate our life to God. One to think about is, Are You a Good Person? http://livingwaters.com/good

I can't help but be partial to your polish flag - my husband is half polish. Feel free to email me anytime. I will be praying for your situation.

Thank you for your response, Salida. (btw - where did you get that name from? I ask because it makes me think of the spanish word for "exit", which is salida.)

It is very hard to talk to him because he is currently in NY and I am in NC. I was against being in a long distance relationship at first, but if you knew the guy as I once did with you might understand why I decided it was worth it. I try to talk to him and I tell him I love him and want to help him, but he refuses to let me help him. It's like he has just given up. Last time we had a big fight and I promised him I'd never try to contact him again. I told him I still loved him and would be there if he ever needed me and understood if he never wanted me in his life again.

I am a believer, he is not. I actually told him that I was looking for someone with similar spiritual views as mine. Like the long distance thing though, he wore me down on that issue by making me fall in love with him.

I currently have a circle who is praying for the both of us and I am as well. I actually don't pray for things all that much. The way I pray is this: I meditate in order to open myself up and receive Love and Guidance. I just that I am being led on the right path and believe that all the hardships I've been through are not tests, but challenges that will, in the end, make me stronger. Of course, when going through them it is hard to see why I have to suffer. I usually find my "answers" through others who have blessed me by entering my life and by bibliomancy (I will randomly open a book or look something up that touches me on a spiritual level and it will help me to both understand and deal with what I need to understand and deal with.)

It is truly the most peaceful feeling when I am full.


I went to that site. I had no idea God was so nitpicky 0.0 Like with coveting. To me, coveting would equal an unhealthy obsession with getting something you don't have. Is it really so harmful to think "I wish I had one of those." or "I'd like to live like a movie star."? Is it really so harmful to work towards a goal in order to get something we want?


It's cool that your husband is half Polish! Does he speak the language?

 

[GryffinSong]

I don't know how long ago he was hurt, but I understand that when it comes up, it comes up bigtime, and people often withdraw in order to deal with all the emotional pain that comes up around the incident. Perhaps he'll let you in again, perhaps he won't. Unfortunately, we can't change other people, and we can't force them to love us.

I strongly recommend you get counseling for YOU. You can't change him, but you can get help with your feelings around the situation.

I'm pulling for you, and hope you find peace.

 

[Cassandra]

Well, the love of my life has finally come out out this terrible period....by falling in love with someone else.


Yeah...

 

[GryffinSong]

Oh, I'm so very sorry.