Desperate?

[PrincessFromOz]

A few of my friends have joined online dating sites recently, which got me thinking... isn't it being a little 'desperate'?

Are we trying to 'hurry God up' by doing those sorts of things... or should we be realistic and say that if we hope to find someone we can relate to, then we're increasing our chances by meeting heaps of people?

What about people who live in rural towns (such as myself), where good males can be few and far between?What do you guys reckon?

 

[Highland Watchman]

I've joined a few of those sites in the past. I don't know how desperate it is. I mainly go on to read what people write on them, and to occasionally meet people here and there to talk to on MSN. There have been only a few that I have really talked to on MSN, though I have had a few others comment on my blog, which I put the address for that in my profile.

 

[MadFingerPainter]

I personally don't trust them myself. But I feel it's rushing God. He has His own time table. I feel like when we go to those sites not only are we no longer letting Him be in control...we are rushing Him and it likely won't work out anyway unless He's ready for it to. ~Shrug~
I live in a small community as well and the "pickins" are less than desirable.

 

[JourneyRain]

I disagree that it is being desperate or rushing God in all cases.

If you have been convicted and know you are not supposed to be posting profiles and on dating sites, then that is wrong. But if you haven't, how is that rushing God or being desperate? It isn't. Perhaps, that is how you are supposed to meet someone whether they turn into a spouse or just a friend.

Now if you are a Christian and going to a site like AdultFriendFinder that might be considered desperate.

So I think it is a personal decision and pray about it before you do it. Plus, how is filling out a profile any different then going to a function you normally wouldn't go to in hopes of meeting someone new. I don't see that it is. Plus God can work with whatever we do sometimes we actually have to do something in order for God to work. Sometimes we are doing too much it just depends from person to person.

 

[Tink]

I think God can use whatever avenue He wants to in order for us to meet our mates. If it's through a website, you'll be led to do it. I don't think there's anything "desperate" about it.

Love!

 

[javaluver]

I have never done the whole dating site thing but I wouldn't call it desperate. You really never know how you are going to meet that special someone!

 

[OhhJim]

I'm looking for a job right now, and when I go on the internet to see what's available, I don't think of it as "trying to hurry God up". Even my friends who think that God has a wonderful plan for their lives look for a job, and don't think that God will drop the perfect job in their laps if they just ignore the fact that they want one. I've never heard even one of them say, "If I go out and look for a job, I'm not letting God be in control".

But that's just me. Each of us has his own path to follow.

 

[Blank123]

I certainly don't have any problems with the idea of online dating

I'm not sure though if I'd want to using an actual dating site to meet someone, but I don't have anything against them. It depends on the individual if thats how God leads you then go for it. If you're convicted that its something you shouldn't be doing then don't do it.

 

[Niels]

10 years ago, back in my college days, I used to get 'dates' through telnet. All the girls I met on the mainframe were hawt ... all 2 of them. Well, we were more like friends... not really 'dating' as it were.

Today, the online singles scene is for more than desperate geeks. It's become a normal thing to do.

 

[Sketcher]

Looking online isn't more or less desperate than looking in real life. Either case can be either very desperate or very prudent.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Well...considering that I am the ONLY hockey fan in Indiana....I would have to go online to find that special hockey fan. hehe

I agree with OhhJim. It's not necessarily hurrying God up.

However....if you get 'consumed' by spending time online looking for a mate and taking your focus OFF God...then there's a problem. If you spend ungodly amounts of money these sites charge...could be a problem. There's just a lot to consider. The 'one' could be on a personals living in another state/country. Or...you could meet them tomorrow at a church function.....one never knows.....*sigh* (and that's the part that bites!)

 

[PrincessFromOz]

Good answers... I guess now instead of going to 'the dances' like they might have in the old days, we surf the net as an acceptable way of meeting people.

I wonder, though, what effect this has had on our relationships? For better, or for worse?

 

[MadFingerPainter]

i really need to start keeping my opinions to myself.

 

[mwb]

I don't think it's desperate at all.

But it depends on the person. If the person searching is obsessed with finding someone & puts too much faith in online personals then that could be construed as desperate. But if a person, who doesn't get a chance to meet many people, uses online personals as another avenue then that's not desperate.

I've chatted with a few women online who live near me. I haven't gotten serious enough to meet them but they seemed honest so I consider it a somewhat positive experience.

 

[bithiah2]

A few of my friends have joined online dating sites recently, which got me thinking... isn't it being a little 'desperate'?

Are we trying to 'hurry God up' by doing those sorts of things... or should we be realistic and say that if we hope to find someone we can relate to, then we're increasing our chances by meeting heaps of people?

What about people who live in rural towns (such as myself), where good males can be few and far between?What do you guys reckon?

i believe that people should do what they are led to do. it is not 'hurrying' God by going online, the internet is what people do now. i have a friend who goes to e-harmony, i don't want to, but that does not mean anything. there is no telling where people can meet up.
the grocery store, the tire place, costco, the airport, church picnic, beach, coffeehouse, so why not online?

blessings and i hope that you will meet the one God has for you soon
bithiah2

 

[Mark2010]

Hmmmm..... not sure why joining a date site would be much different than meeting people here, at work, at church, or anywhere else. It's all in how you do things.

I was a member of a Christian dating site for almost a year. Met some interesting people, but, alas, am still very single.

 

[Mark2010]

Just a side note.....


I know a gal online who often mentions how badly she wants to find a man and get married (she's in her 20s). She's very beautiful and talented, yet no man ever seems to meet her standards. Maybe she's waiting for Jesus to come back.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I do online Christian sites and real life Christian singles events. The only dates that I have been on are due to the online sites. I was almost asked out once by a guy I saw a few times at some dances, but right after he asked for my phone number I mentioned that I had two kids. The disappointment on his face was really sad. He never called and even though I've only been to a few dances since then, he hasn't been there. This would never happen on the online sites since I clearly state that I have two kids living with me.

 

[sherri]

Now if you are a Christian and going to a site like AdultFriendFinder that might be considered desperate.

No, thats considered perverted


I think it depends on the individual. Dating online can create all kinds of problems simply because you can build a relationship and create emotional intimacy with someone without really knowing them. ie you can end up at C by bypassing A and B in a way you couldn't do in normal life. There's also the problems of long distance dating.

If you're extremly level headed about it this stuff can be overcome and I do believe God can use it if you're wise and involve him in the whole process.

But yeah, for others it's definatly a lack of trust thing.

It all depends on the individual.

 

[Tink]

i really need to start keeping my opinions to myself.

Why would you do that? Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and luckily God didn't make us have cookie cutter personalities.

Love!