Depression

[Disasteriffic]

Hi all. I apologize for wasting you time with a question like this. I've been suffering from some major depression lately. Pretty much mainly because society demands perfection. I have been having much doubt when it comes to God. I just want to be accepted. I've considered suicide multiple times. I've only truly attempted it once. I have my days where I believe God is a wonderful and caring God and I have other days when I just simply don't give him a second's thought. What should I do? I don't really have anybody I can speak to about any of this.

 

[Deb7777]

Hi all. I apologize for wasting you time with a question like this. I've been suffering from some major depression lately. Pretty much mainly because society demands perfection. I have been having much doubt when it comes to God. I just want to be accepted. I've considered suicide multiple times. I've only truly attempted it once. I have my days where I believe God is a wonderful and caring God and I have other days when I just simply don't give him a second's thought. What should I do? I don't really have anybody I can speak to about any of this.

Hi Disasteriffic, Welcome! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Its true people get really stress with the pressure of perfection. In fact, I was reading a person's post that was a counselor on a suicide hotline and she said there was alot of people who are striving for perfection in some area and get overwhelmed. So, we do need to be careful when it comes to wanting to reach some sort of perfection, it can be very tasking on our emotions. I think we all need not to put to much pressure on ourselves. One thing for sure God loves you and accepts you and wants the very best for you. God truly has our best interest at heart. I would say, take it one day at a time, try not to feel overwhelmed as much as possible, not always easy in this demanding society. You have a forum here to always talk too, it can be a little slow so don't get discourage, letting your feelings out is always good. God bless and God does love you very much.

 

[bugg1]

God already knows everything, so js put your trust in him and he'll walk you thre it all. I hope you'll be able to see that its demons that are putting this thought in your head, those demons love to torture those who are truley blessed. I will pray for you sweety! keep your mind on some hobbies,maybe read some good old literatue or better ask the Lord to help you and direct you to some verses in the bible for you to read.Now is the time to equip. yourself with Gods armor for us, this bible. Also i heard this works...take some cotton and some sented oil and pledge an agreement with our Lord and the oil is to be like the blood of the lamb, to protect you from demons , put this oil on all doors and windows, pray to God while doing this.Maybe it'll help.well i'll be back to see how your doing. i need to get off computer now. May God Our Lord Keep you and bless you always!

 

[2LivIsChrist]

My pastor was just talking about something like this. The world always is changing, expecting different things from us and letting us down. Once we become what the world wants us to be, they want us to become something else again. Its hard living in this world isn't it? But Jesus, he never changes, hes the same yesterday, today, and forever. JEsus will never let us down, and we can just come to him as we are. He has grace and a loves us the same, and has a unconditional love for us. He died for us so we can be free from the ways of this world, and our sins. We will never be perfect of course, but we have to die to our selves and realize its not about us, and fully just surrender to God, and take up our cross and follow him. If you have truley given your life fully to God, he will never leave you nor forsake you, because he cares for you and loves you. God Bless!

 

[bethdinsmore]

Hi friend.
Welcome to the Forums. We are glad to have you here, and for you to share your problems with us. That's what we are here for, to help and be helped.

Perfectionism is a common problem of dependents and codependents. It usually comes from a dysfunctional childhood, and is deeply ingrained. It is an impossible goal, because the only perfect person is Jesus. We are just setting ourselves up to fail, 100% of the time. But there is a solution - I've seen it work over and over.

First, we need to trust Christ as Savior. At that point, the Holy Spirit comes to live in us, to comfort, guide and strengthen us, and to explain the Bible to us. We are then able to live lives that are pleasing to God - but He loves and accepts us no matter how we behave. Eventually we learn to see ourselves through God's eyes - that He never condemns us but always loves us. Less and less do we base our self worth on our performance plus other's opinions of us. If we do wrong without regret, He will punish us for our good, but He will not take our salvation away.

Now, if you are interested, here's how a person receives the free gift of eternal life: We must make the decision to rely on Christ alone to pay for all our sins and to get us to Heaven, without relying at all on our good works or promises. (Ephesians 2:8-9) Faith alone in Christ alone plus nothing. You can see salvation verses at the bottom of my post (called my signature). Please let us know if you have questions about being saved, friend. I pray that you will make the decision soon. The Bible says, "Now is the day of salvation."

Secondly, I have seen people recover from perfectionism much more easily and quickly by working with both Christian counselors and Christian recovery groups. And Pat Springle's workbooks on codependency are a big help too.


Concerning suicide, here are some things from my website (listed on my profile page):
QUOTE: "I am not a professional, so I am not giving advice. I don’t know what would be the best for you at this time. Here are things that have been helpful to others I know:
Salvation (necessary for complete recovery)
Prayer and reading the Bible
Christian accountability partners
Christian counseling
calling 911 for suicide hotline
Christian psychiatric hospital (especially for those who think they might commit suicide at any time)
Christian recovery group, such as Overcomers Outreach

Here's a site you might want to check out about who to contact, etc.:
http://depression.about.com/od/suicideprevent/

If you are checking with a doctor about antidepressants, it is extremely important to mention the suicidal thoughts; at least some, if not all, of them must not be prescribed.

Stress and trauma can definitely lead to chemical depression. I take anti-depressants for that, and they haven't changed my personality. They have just raised me up to the level playing field that everyone else is on. Then, it's SO much easier to heal and grow, in God's strength. But note my previous warning about antidepressants and suicidal people. If you're interested in seeing ways God dealt with me in my recovery, see "Personal Testimony" in my website on my profile page.

I wouldn't be surprised that many things in your past have led to you not being able to complete the healing process. I am praying that you will reach out for help. You can learn how to let go and let God, in actual steps, one day at a time. And God can use all this pain of yours to strengthen you and to help others. Inch by inch.... It is so worth it.

And, by choosing to remain on this earth till the Lord calls you home, He will be developing this in your life:

Isa 61:1-3 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; 2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;
3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. (KJV)

2 Chr 20:15 ... This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's.
(NIV)

Phil 1:6 6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
(KJV) (In the Greek, this is 24:7)


This is VERY IMPORTANT: Even if you FEEL hopeless, it does not mean that you ARE hopeless.The FACT is that God has hope for anyone who reaches out to Him. If you have reached out to Him before and didn’t see His help - sometimes we just need others to show us how to reach out, and how to take hold of His help. As I said, those others can be found in places like Christian counseling and Christian recovery groups, if you care to call churches to locate them. Many of them have been where you are (including perfectionism), and will have experience, strength and hope to share with you, as well as prayers.

Jer 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (NIV)

It’s a promise, friend.

2 Cor 1:9-10 9 Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. ...(NIV)

God NEVER gives up on us!" END QUOTE

Aloha in Jesus, friend. Please let me know if I can help. I will pray for you.

 

[Anti Existance]

You should read this book for a start.

http://home.quicknet.nl/qn/prive/kes/cycle.pdf

It saved me from comitting suicide and restored my faith in God. '

I want you to read this too, http://www.near-death.com/experiences/suicide04.html
and this. http://www.near-death.com/storm.html
http://www.aleroy.com/Abetway.htm

this post may not look like it, but if you dive into those links they will lead you back to God. Big hug

I know how hard it is to be suicidal and the horrible darkness, it was the book called the cycle of the soul that learned me that in order to see the light i only had to look up. No matter how deep a soul has fallen there is a way out, just let those links guide you there. Please give yourself a chance.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Good news for you.
Jesus isn't interested in perfect people. If he had been then the pharisees would have been right up his alley. They were obsessed with the appearance of perfection.
A little study on his disciples will show that they were thickheaded idiots.
Jesus is about love, not being perfect.

 

[livinginthelight]

Hi all. I apologize for wasting you time with a question like this. I've been suffering from some major depression lately. Pretty much mainly because society demands perfection. I have been having much doubt when it comes to God. I just want to be accepted. I've considered suicide multiple times. I've only truly attempted it once. I have my days where I believe God is a wonderful and caring God and I have other days when I just simply don't give him a second's thought. What should I do? I don't really have anybody I can speak to about any of this.

I've been down that road and hit bottom. I was depressed for years. I took my eyes off of Jesus and focused on my own problems and there were plenty of them.

I have an incurable disease which is both painful and debilitating. I have lived with it for 16 years. It has become progressively worse, to the point where I could no longer work.

I did not cut myself any slack. I kept the same unrealistic expectations even though I was not able to live up to these standards. I tried denial. It did not help. So I got angry.

I did not go to church for two years. I cut myself off from people and God. I wallowed in my own misery and created a black hole of hopelessness. Because I felt miserable this confirmed that my anger was justified. I felt that I had reason to be angry.

I stopped caring for and about myself. Then it is easy to take the next step and consider suicide. Why not end it all? Nobody would care, or so I felt. At my lowest point, I stood on the brink of death and I am not sure what stopped me.

It did nothing to make me feel any better. In fact, I felt guilty that I had even considered suicide. As a Christian, it should have been unthinkable. This only added to my resentment and anger.

I did not have a prayer life and I had stopped talking to God all together. It was as if I had resigned from life.

I had been through anti-depressants galore and psychotherapy, too, with no result.

The turn around started when I started taking responsibilty for my feelings. Instead of looking for someone to blame, I learned that feeling miserable was a decision that I had made.

I went from anger to acceptance. I realized that I would never be the same. I mourned the loss of the old me and decided to get on with life.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I had chosen to feel bad. Once I started to take ownership I was ready for some real healing and that came from the Lord. It took another year before I was spiritually healed. I had lots of issues to work through with the Lord, but one by one I dealt with them.

It isn't easy to endure suffering. We choose to be happy or not to be happy. Misery loves company as the saying goes. Once you start to feel miserable, then it is some how strangely comforting to have these things validated. Your misery becomes a way of being. Life is rotten so you might as well feel that way. Your rotten feelings confirm that life is rotten. And the next thing you know you are in a viscious circle.

It is Satan's job to denounce us and make us feel unworthy or unlovable. This adds to our burden. We let it happen when we listen to this voice.

God's role is to be in control. He is sovereign. We need to allow him to be in control and to carry our burdens.

Life is good once again. I am no better healthwise, but I have learned to deal with it and my feelings. I have learned to let God carry my load.

I wish the same for everyone. I praise him and give thanks in all circumstances. It was a tough lesson to learn. It almost cost me my life.

Read Job to learn about suffering. It tells us why there is suffering, what is the cause of suffering, who is to blame, how to deal with suffering and most of all how to stay faithful through it all. It shows that God is sovereign and that we have to accept his reasons, even if we do not understand them. We learn from Job, that suffering is short term and that we will be rewarded in the end.

I've learned that happiness isn't something that comes your way or doesn't. Happiness is a choice. You can feel happy in all situations and circumstances, if you let yourself be happy.

May you know his love and never doubt that God is in control.

 

[hlaltimus]

Hi all. I apologize for wasting you time with a question like this. I've been suffering from some major depression lately. Pretty much mainly because society demands perfection. I have been having much doubt when it comes to God. I just want to be accepted. I've considered suicide multiple times. I've only truly attempted it once. I have my days where I believe God is a wonderful and caring God and I have other days when I just simply don't give him a second's thought. What should I do? I don't really have anybody I can speak to about any of this.

Your at a good place right now to ask questions! But getting involved in a good, bible honoring Church is also a necessity. The reason here is that the Lord has described Himself as being a Shepherd over a flock of sheep. This is an important principle for you to see: The Shepherd pours out a blessing upon His flock and therefore individual members of it for the sake of the whole. Sort of like the Creator of our world sending down rain upon an entire city in order to satisfy the needs of house#1, house#2, house#3, etc. If you want in on what God has to offer to you, (and He is offering eternal life,) you need to be in the place where that blessing is being poured out. In the physical sense, this is a God-fearing, Bible honoring Church. In the moral sense, it is found in the place of truth. God won't bless a lie, so you must find out what the truth is and stand there in order to receive blessings from the God of Truth. How? Turn to your Bible, especially the New Testament, and allow that to adjust all of your concepts and actions of what is morally right and wrong. When you adjust your position to that divine truth, you are then in a place in which the God of truth can bless you. Ruth of the Old Testament would have lived and pined away without the Lord had she remained in Moab, but she got up and followed the Jewish woman Naomi right back to Israel where she was then in a place where the God of Abraham could bless her. The prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 did the same thing. Had he remained feeding hogs in a distant country, he would have never known the joy of acceptance with the Father while in that Father's house. Also, in being accepted this Earth has only seen one truly perfect individual and that was our Lord Jesus Christ. Hide yourself as deep as you can get in His glorious person and you will soon find the peace of God filling you with a sense of your perfect standing and acceptance to God while you are abiding in that one, solitary perfect person...Christ. He won't let you down, but you must do things His way, and you won't be disappointed if you only will come.

 

[anunbeliever]

What should I do? I don't really have anybody I can speak to about any of this.

Have you seen a doctor? A psychiatrist? Since you have attempted suicide once, i'd say it is vitally important that you get all the help you can. Many forms of depression can be controlled with medication.