depression quesiton

[Deb7777]

ahh...but id unno if I already said this on here or not but I have this feeling...like this intuition that I'm gonna die soon. I know it sounds weird but my mom told me once that some people can tell when they're about to die in a way...

and also jsisrl, I dont understand verses, sorry...so is what you're trying to say is that when you sin it brings you farther from god and closer to satan so in a way you kinda punish yourself more or soemthing...sorry I'm really slow.

Hi Hopl, good to hear from you, this is your thread, post all you want! Death can definitely come like a thief in the night but I wouldn't dwell on it too much. The great thing about being a christian is death is not the last word and it is our heavenly homeland so christians have a peace about death in the sense they want to be with the Lord and are going to try to be ready at all times since we don't know when the Lord will call us into eternity. In regards to sin, it never uplifts us but cast us down. The Lord truly knows what will make our mind and heart to be content, his teachings are par excellence, his teaching will never fail you in bringing you to a place of hope and peace, God bless. Life can be a pain but we never have to go it alone, Jesus is always knocking to enter our hearts, your heart will never be sorry to say to Jesus, welcome. Get a bible and read it slowly, get to know the person of Jesus, it will only make you a better person. God bless again.

 

[hoplessss]

anunbeliever--I'm fifteen and I've been on antidepressent stuff since I was 13 or 12 I think. And I've seen counselors to. But now my mom wont take me to counselors and she took me off the antidepressents and threw them away because shes an idiot. And whenever I ask if I can see a counselor or psychiatrist or something she says no because it was a huge waste of money and it wasn't helping get me any better...so basically I'm on my own now and it sucks. And really my life wont' necissarilly get better after highschool since I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up and the college my dad will probably force me to go to is like an exact clone of the school I'm at now--the hypocritcal christian crowd...not to mention the RICH hypocrticial ALL WHITE christian crowd which is really annoying (did I mention I was black....which kinda makes me depressed to since I hang out with white people all the time so I feel like a misfit. Not to mention that since I'm black I'm at the bottom of the dating scale so no guys ever even come near me). Even at school now, I really have no true friends. My "friends" all make fun of me and dont' really act like my friends, and I'm already at the absolute bottom of the social ladder so I have no one left to hang out with. Then theres what I like to call the X factor...or basically this whole situation with my ex boyfriend. It's bad. And worst of all I still like him even though i broke up with him...I dunno it's really weird. Dont ask. And I'm not very smart or athletic so I have no potential in academics or a sports career. I'll be lucky if I can nail a job at the mall or something at this rate...so you probably understand now why I really do need to kill myself...which don't worry, I think I'll be getting the rest of my pills sometime this week, whenever my mom will take me to the store since I can't drive myself yet and dont even have my permit which sucks too.

connie, so basicallly your life will be a living hell for all the sins you have commited? if so, then that sucks.

Anyway, I'm happy that i have this intuition that I'll die soon. Its what I've been praying to god (if there is one) for for a year or more. Now we'll just have to se if it acutally happens. I've decided not to even consider christianity until something amzing happens like a guy starts likeing, me or i get a boyfriend, or a date to a dance where the guy asks the girl for a change. Then myabe I'll beleieve theres some supreme good power. Otherwise i think I'll pretty much be an atheist or an agnostic(which is what I am now). Sorry.

And please, don't ban me off of this site. Thats what the people did at the last forums I was on, and you guys are all I've got to talk to. Otherwise I feel like I'm gonna pop sdince my ****** of a mom doesn't want to help me anymore. Am I allowed to say ****** on here?

 

[sethad]

sorry to but in..I know technically only christians are allowed to answer.

jisisgirl...I dont believe God "punishes" people on earth. there are natural consequences but if God "punished" people on earth what would be the point of hell? people who have had horrible lives and have been supposedly "punished" skip out of hell regardless of what they believe?

is a baby getting shaken to death being "punished" for its sins? etc. I dont think so.

and you say that is the "law of God" for today...but I thought that christians werent under the law but under grace?

I know we arent supposed to debate here those are just thinks for you and hoplesss to read and think about and if you really want to discuss it you can pm me.

anyway...
hoplesss...middle school and high school can suck, things always look up after I think. and the world is full of hypocrites, christian and non christian. and i know depression is no fun and it sucks that your mom seems to be completely ignorant about it. moms can be like that my mom is too, she just completely does not care. if i jumped off a building she wouldnt notice.

have you tried other things to help with the depression? exercise is supposed to help, it naturally boosts serotonin, which is the same thing that medicine does and can relieve depression.

 

[anunbeliever]

I'm fifteen and I've been on antidepressent stuff since I was 13 or 12 I think.

When you were taking them, do you recall if they helped at all?

But now my mom wont take me to counselors and she took me off the antidepressents and threw them away because shes an idiot. And whenever I ask if I can see a counselor or psychiatrist or something she says no because it was a huge waste of money and it wasn't helping get me any better

Parents being idiots; sometimes we just think they are and sometimes they really are. I hope the former is true in your case. Your parents know that you've had problems in the past. Are they aware of how you feel today? Or are you putting on a brave face? If they really understood how you feel, maybe they'd take you more seriously.

And really my life wont' necissarilly get better after highschool since I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up and the college my dad will probably force me to go to is like an exact clone of the school I'm at now--the hypocritcal christian crowd

Being only 15, you have plenty of time to work out what you want to do with your life. To me it sounds like much of your angst is because of your parents.

so you probably understand now why I really do need to kill myself...which don't worry, I think I'll be getting the rest of my pills sometime this week, whenever my mom will take me to the store since I can't drive myself yet and dont even have my permit which sucks too.

No i dont understand that. If your life sux, then a time will come where you can change your circumstances. I'm not going to begin telling you what you should do. I know nothing more about you than what i can glean from a couple of posts on this forum. However, i did mention that life gets better after school. Why? Because you are then an adult and can do what you want.

When you turn 18, if your parents and your life still suck, then leave. Leave everything behind and move somewhere else to start fresh. This may sound drastic, but its much less drastic than overdosing on pills.

 

[hoplessss]

hmm...well I heard somewhere that if you're depressed you're more likely to commit suicide in college than high school, but I dunno if that's true or not.

Is suicide really a sin or do people just make that up to keep you from doing it?

 

[Deb7777]

hmm...well I heard somewhere that if you're depressed you're more likely to commit suicide in college than high school, but I dunno if that's true or not.

Is suicide really a sin or do people just make that up to keep you from doing it?

Hi Hopl, We know one of the commandments is thou shall not kill and that means ones self to, God is the Author of Life and Death so we would be going against his command and wishes. Suicide is tragic, we don't know who is in hell for anything but we don't want to chance it that an act of ours would rob us of eternity with God. Everyone should take the issue of Life and Death out of their hands because that is God's territory, we don't want to be our own God and Master that never learns to serve or obey our Creator. Life can be rough but God will not permit this to be an everlasting condition, we have to trust in his promise of a life of abundance in his Kingdom, everyday brings us a day closer to what God has in store for those who would freely choose to love and honor him. To obey his commands since they are life-giving, to trust his Wisdom that he will bring all things to fulfillment in his time. Jesus is the way to true life, you 'll never go wrong by following the teachings of Jesus. When people become their own Lord and Master they can really end up a mess where Jesus says come to me, I will give you life, I will help you carry your cross, I will bring you into my Kingdom where every tear shall be wiped away and thought of no more. Everyone of us can be a light for Jesus in this world to reach those who are in great pain and suffering by telling them Jesus loves them and he will help them persevere in this world that is truly passing. No one is going to be complaining in God's kingdom, its this life that has crosses because of the first sin in the Garden, good and evil is possible but evil seems to winning at times, that's why its so important to be a positive and to bring the hope which Jesus does promise to his followers, you will be with me in paradise.( Good to hear from you again, post all you want, sorry to hear your mom is not seeing it like you are, I'll keep you both in prayer, God bless.)

 

[Cabbages]

When a person believes they'll die tomorrow, they tend to find a way to make it happen.

Perhaps you should change your plan. Instead of seeking the answers, accept that you cannot find the answers, and the answers may come to you, unexpectedly. You are likely to find the meaning of life- everyday provides new opportunities. If a person commits suicide they deny themself the opportunity to find their purpose.

I'm sure you'll experience some sort of revelation. Only problem is, you have to stick around to find out. Perhaps suicide is the right answer for you- however, when you look at the big picture, you've got a LOT of life left to go before you're most likely to die naturally. Why be so impatient right now?

 

[hoplessss]

woah...I think I may have just had some kind of a revelation like Cabbage said. I mean, I still have a lot of crap in my life but now I've finally found a religion that suits me...Buddhism. It's sooo relaxing. I like it. And best of all there's no god involved necissarily, which, no offense to theistic people, but I find it much nicer this way. The only problem is I only know the basics so if anyone can tell me more or has some kind of webpage or something that explains it, that would be great.

 

[Deb7777]

woah...I think I may have just had some kind of a revelation like Cabbage said. I mean, I still have a lot of crap in my life but now I've finally found a religion that suits me...Buddhism. It's sooo relaxing. I like it. And best of all there's no god involved necissarily, which, no offense to theistic people, but I find it much nicer this way. The only problem is I only know the basics so if anyone can tell me more or has some kind of webpage or something that explains it, that would be great.

Hi Hopl, I just want you to remember Jesus loves you and he will always be there for you. If you ever find yourself in dark places say the name of Jesus, for the there is no other name that can truly bring a person out of darkness into the light. Jesus promises us when we follow him we truly will have life and to the full by seeing things through the divine mind and not only our human understanding. God's grace will help us endure all and to be united to him in a very special way, its there for you when your ready, the Lord can be known more by studying his words in the bible and of course, lifting onces heart to him in prayer. People want instant results, it doesn't work that way normally but the Lord will bring hope to a heart, you fail, the Lord offers his hand to help you back up, he keeps us going to his kingdom without fail for that is where true, complete fiulfillment will be forever, the pains and struggles in this world will be a fleeting moment when compared to a soul given the Kingdom of God for his/her everlasting inheritance, kind of like winning the Lotto but greater.

 

[hoplessss]

mmmhmm...but you see the key there is that you actually need a God for all that to happen and honestly, I dont think there is one. And if there is he obviously doens't want to help me so I'm better off just helping myself. Besides, I really don't have anything to lose if I kill myself anyway, not that I've planned it all out yet, but I'm just saying it is an option since Christmas is comeing and I hate Christmas because it always makes me super depressed and then after Christmas I have this stupid dance that I probably won't have a date to (as usual, since I haven't had dates to the last 2 dances in a row and the one time I did have a date, the guy that ask me now pretty much hates me, so yeah.). I'm a huge loser so it's really pretty pointless for me to even have any hope that anything will ever get any better much less try to make it better.

But it's still a few weeks till Christmas and maybe now that I believe in buddhism things will actually start to get better for a change. Of course that would require a miracle but at least they can't say I didn't try everything.

 

[Cabbages]

Not really the place to be promoting Buddhism, but since you asked- About.com is a great resource to start with, and there are plenty of people in the Non-Christian Religion section perfectly willing to explain and answer questions.

Personally, I have no position on suicide. Like anything else, it has its pros and cons, and I cannot definitely know whether it is right or wrong, so I remain neutral. You can't turn back from suicide, and for that reason, I think every option should be explored first. Some options may not even present themselves until the future. There are some really incredible stories of people who are able to bring themselves out of their darkest moments, which leads me to believe that any situation can be turned around with the right effort. I have a feeling you'll find your path very soon- just need to hang in there for a bit and try to stay level-headed. From my experiences, highly emotional states aren't very good for making important decisions.

 

[Deb7777]

mmmhmm...but you see the key there is that you actually need a God for all that to happen and honestly, I dont think there is one. And if there is he obviously doens't want to help me so I'm better off just helping myself. Besides, I really don't have anything to lose if I kill myself anyway, not that I've planned it all out yet, but I'm just saying it is an option since Christmas is comeing and I hate Christmas because it always makes me super depressed and then after Christmas I have this stupid dance that I probably won't have a date to (as usual, since I haven't had dates to the last 2 dances in a row and the one time I did have a date, the guy that ask me now pretty much hates me, so yeah.). I'm a huge loser so it's really pretty pointless for me to even have any hope that anything will ever get any better much less try to make it better.

But it's still a few weeks till Christmas and maybe now that I believe in buddhism things will actually start to get better for a change. Of course that would require a miracle but at least they can't say I didn't try everything.

Hopl. you're not a loser! You don't know what the future holds, if you start today to say one pray for your future husband you might meet the person of your dreams! That the Lord will send you that special person but you have to persevere, people have prayed for their future husband and wife and have been blessed. Current boyfriends is not the end all, be all of life, you need to start loving herself and then blessings flow from that. Others will see you in a new way because you will see yourself in a new way. You start showing a little confidence in yourself others will notice, you walk around being proud of being you and don't give a damn what anybody thinks you will be transformed, nobody or thing can bother you unless you let them, try it , don't let others bother you, don't give people the pleasure that they know they got to you, even if you cry in secret, don't let people who can be very cruel ,because they have serious issues of there own, take away everything from you , there is also a hotline I believe someone mention 911 that transfers you over to a phone counselor if you need to talk to someone in person. You might want to check out phone numbers to help you out by talking to a live person. Definitely keep talking to people, keep trying to talk to your mother and counselors and this board, hang in there , life does get better, how many people had terrible, difficult teen years but survived! Is ther any kind of club at school that you can join, Christian Club? You mention your school was private, Catholic? God bless. Why do hate Christmas time?

 

[Jesus Is Real]

connie, so basicallly your life will be a living hell for all the sins you have commited? if so, then that sucks.

Hopelessss, would you like an mp3 that you can download, before you die?
PM me! There truly is a way out.......there sure is precious!

 

[hoplessss]

connie: I have an ipod shuffle if thats what you mean...even though i really wanted an ipod mini, but the shuffle is good enough for me I guess

And I hate christmas because I never get what I really want. Not to mention, now that I think about it, I broke up with my first boyfriend last Christmas so that will be painful memories of course. I think christmas is blown waaaayyy out of proportion and it usually makes me depressed. besides, I think it was just a plot made up by hallmark or some other store to get us to spend thousands on gifts....which was nice, but I just wish I was younger like I use to be cause then I had tons of gifts but now everyone forgets about me because I've gotten too old and boring.

 

[Deb7777]

connie: I have an ipod shuffle if thats what you mean...even though i really wanted an ipod mini, but the shuffle is good enough for me I guess

And I hate christmas because I never get what I really want. Not to mention, now that I think about it, I broke up with my first boyfriend last Christmas so that will be painful memories of course. I think christmas is blown waaaayyy out of proportion and it usually makes me depressed. besides, I think it was just a plot made up by hallmark or some other store to get us to spend thousands on gifts....which was nice, but I just wish I was younger like I use to be cause then I had tons of gifts but now everyone forgets about me because I've gotten too old and boring.

Hi Hopl, You bring back those childhood memories of all those toys! Childhood did have its benefits! Your right about all the spending with Christmas these days, it has gone overboard. But people do recieve joy when giving, its the shopping that I really don't enjoy, not a shopper. Why don't you buy alittle tree for room, maybe it will get you into some Christmas joy. Think of it this way, your out of school for 2 weeks, maybe you need a pet in your life, take your mind off of all these boys, God bless. I was still wondering about some of my previous questions in my last post to you, God bless again.

 

[hoplessss]

ohh, sorry

No, it's not catholic, it's just a normal christian school even though I think a few people might be catholic its mostly just...I dunno what you call it...but just, like, nodenominational maybe or I dunno, all I know is that in order to get into the school you have to give your testimony of how you're a christian on the little admissions thing you fill out. So, you're probably wondering how I got in. Well basically I thought I was a christian and really I didn't want to go to this school but my parents were pretty into it and they forced me to go there. So really, you can blame my parents for completely screwing up my life for everything, since it's their fault I'm alive in the first place and then they made me go to some school they want me to go to not me and then not even letting me leave the school until I graduate. They're retards and I wish they had never existed so that way I would never have been born.

There is an extremly slim chance that my life could get better, but it's really slim because you see, one thing I have actually figured out in my life is that nothing ever gets better it just gets worse and when things seem like they're getting better, they take a turn for the worst. Now I'm not saying this is what happens to everybody but in my life that definately seems to be the case.

 

[sethad]

There is an extremly slim chance that my life could get better, but it's really slim because you see, one thing I have actually figured out in my life is that nothing ever gets better it just gets worse and when things seem like they're getting better, they take a turn for the worst. Now I'm not saying this is what happens to everybody but in my life that definately seems to be the case.

never say never and its your attitude that will make life worse or better.

my life hasnt been so great either but eventually it will get better. just instead of sitting on your butt and saying "oh my life is so bad and it will never get better" say "oh yea, life sucks, but it will get better" and then DO something to make it better. sitting around wont accomplish anything.

as it is things wont probably get better for me until I move away from home...so thats kind of what I'm hanging onto right now.

 

[Deb7777]

ohh, sorry

No, it's not catholic, it's just a normal christian school even though I think a few people might be catholic its mostly just...I dunno what you call it...but just, like, nodenominational maybe or I dunno, all I know is that in order to get into the school you have to give your testimony of how you're a christian on the little admissions thing you fill out. So, you're probably wondering how I got in. Well basically I thought I was a christian and really I didn't want to go to this school but my parents were pretty into it and they forced me to go there. So really, you can blame my parents for completely screwing up my life for everything, since it's their fault I'm alive in the first place and then they made me go to some school they want me to go to not me and then not even letting me leave the school until I graduate. They're retards and I wish they had never existed so that way I would never have been born.

There is an extremly slim chance that my life could get better, but it's really slim because you see, one thing I have actually figured out in my life is that nothing ever gets better it just gets worse and when things seem like they're getting better, they take a turn for the worst. Now I'm not saying this is what happens to everybody but in my life that definately seems to be the case.

Hi Hopl, It sounds like your parents are Christian, are they like really strict that they have turn you off to Christianity? I had a few friends who parents were really strict growing up and they swore they would never be like that when they had kids, I don't know how that has worked out for them but they were determine not to let that happen so you are your own person when you reach adulthood to determine how would you be with your kids. You can say a small prayer for your parents, can't hurt like Lord please help my father and mother, that way you can take some of the resentment away, that drains a person, wish them well even if they're not like you want them to be. I'm sure the majority of kids would make some changes in their parents if they could as the majority of parents would make some changes in the kids, ah life, we must endure each other at times but don't let it get you down. Like Sethad said you'll be able to make your own decisions later on in life, its just a matter of time till you get to the place of Adulthood.( Hi Seth, thanks for the post) So do you think you would have been happier at a public school, I think you mention you were in high school? If its only your freshman year give it time, you'll meet more people as you go along. Name one thing you really enjoy ( don't say boys ) some activity, there has to be one out there, I'm curious. Why don't you watch some Christmas movies to get into the holiday spirit, break out the popcorn and watch that Jimmy Stewart movie, can't think of the name, you know where the angel shows him his life had he lived, it was a classic. Aren't you at least looking forward to Christmas break, I couldn't wait to get out of school at this time of year, God bless.

 

[Brother Simon]

Well, bascially I've been depressed for as long as I can remember and I've seen plenty of counselors I'm forced to go to a christian school by my parents which has basically turned me off from christianity since they're all irritating hypocrites...

Brother, peace to you,

Be the first one. Show your part of the world that Christianity isn't to be turned into a thing of "say and not do." Do not let others, even the entirity of Christianity keep you from being a Christian.

And also, if God is sooo good then why does he put some of these struggles out there in the first place, I mean, i hear its to test you and all that crap but whats the point of doing all that when he could just leave you alone and allow you to be content the way you are instead of trying to mes with you all the time.

Did Christ not suffer for our sins? Why not rejoice in your sufferings and unite them to His?

With love,
Simon

 

[hoplessss]

hey

ok, Sethad, I've tried to help my situation doing certain things and trying this and trying that but it never seems to work. I mean, I even tried islam and buddhism for a while and the only reason I quit those was cause it was tooo confusing and my parents wouldn't support it becasue they're idiots so I couldn't ask them to help necissarily. You woudln't believe how many times I've heard the "get off your butt and do something" bit...but thats ok cause I'm used to it now.

Deb, I'll probably never have kids cause first off, I don't support it and second you have to get a guy to like you and guys never like me. I think most parents are selfish for having kids in such a messed up world, that's just cruel. Like my parents for example. I was supposed to be abortioned but my mom felt guilty for haveing 2 abortions before she had me so she decided to keep me and look at how it turned out. I hate them and everyone hates me. It's like what someone once told me, "you should always go with your first instict" which is ooo so true. If someone I know would have taken that advice I would be soo much happier or actually I would probably have no emotion I would just be neutral since I wouldn't exist. But now the closest thing I can get to that is going into a coma, which I dunno how to do...but if someone does know then please, share this method with me

and finally, Simon, well I have to actually be interested in Chrisitanity first to even try it, no? And I know what you're gonna say, "then why are you on a christian message board" well first of all I'm technically not since my agnosticisimness won't let me go in a lot of the forums and junk and second I find taht ya'll actually pay attention to depressed people and I jsut need someone to talk to. And sure, the non christian boards are ok, but whenever you post about depression they dont give advice they just cuss you out and talk about how you're some attention starved freak. And that's no fun.

sorry if I sound like an annoying pessimist who "just wants attention" but like I said, this is the only place I can vent since people in my real life never want to listen and if they could have their way they'd probably wish me dead like I wish they were dead but unfortunately, my shipment of pills still hasn't come in yet. It's really annoying. But luckily I"ve being trying to stop eating which is really convenient becuase I'm losing weight and I hear skinny people do better in hot circustances so if there really is a hell I can at least be a lil comfortable.