Depression and studying

[Judy02]

Ok...hey. I was hoping someone who's also found this difficult could give me some tips I guess maybe

I've been at university for three years, I should have graduated this summer, but I didn't pass everything because of that wonderful thing we all know as depression (excuse the sarcasm sorry, it's a way I try to bring humour into these situtations sometimes).

Anyway I first got depressed in the beginning of my second year. My exams at the end of that year were deferred till august instead of sitting them in May, because I just wasn't ready. When I did sit them, I only just scraped a pass in them, and made it into the third year.

Third year, I passed 2 of my exams and failed two. I'm resitting the other 2, as well as an essay in May 2007.

And I'm feeling anxious already. This is probably going to be my very last chance now. If I fail this time round, it means I wasted 4 years at college, as well as thousands of pounds on student loans, and come out with nothing as a result. Sounds like a nightmare already!

It was really embarrising not graduating with all my friends this year, and half of them prob don't understand how difficult this has been for me.

Anyway, the uni have helped me out quite a lot, but I think this will be my very last chance. Plus I'm not on anti depressants at the moment, the ones i was on (prozac and citalopram) didnt do anything for me. If I'm not on tabs, the uni can't treat it as a 'medical case' which wud mean it was more serious, and more up for consideration.

I know sometimes people say tabs help, but I really don't know if I can do with the stress being on tabs can bring too. Possible side effects, finding the drug that works for you, if one ever will etc...especially when I'm trying to find a job at the moment, and I could do without the discrimination some places have, about not employing a depressed person.

Anyway, basically academically, things haven't gone well in the last two years, even though there was kind of an improvement in third year I think...

And I think this might be my last chance, and I know depression affects people in different ways, but has anyone else ever struggled with school whilst being depressed. It's really affected me, making concentration difficult, and studying has been next to impossible sometimes, which is SO frustrating! I wouldn't mind if i failed, because I didn't try, but failing even tho I tried, but something was stopping me is even worse.

Has anyone else had this, do they please have any tips, any at all??

But I don't understand why God would let me fail ya know? I don't understand why God would let depression have victory over me like this, I don't understand why God would call me to university, only for me to then fail? I just wana graduate, and have something to show for the last four years of my life!! How unimpressive will it look otherwise. 'Yeah what did u do between 2003 and 2007? Well I was at uni, and eventually failed! Woohoo! Please employ me! '

Please help, I just feel frustrated and scared, and wana know God's gona get me through this last hurdle, the last 2 years haven't been promising! xx

 

[Ruth~]

Yes, I do know how awfully hard it is to go to college and be depressed. I had OCD and PTSD on top of it, too. What helped besides meds was counseling at the time. I don't know what tabs are. Taking a brisk 20 minute walk daily will help but can be hard to get motivated to do it. Exercise helps depression a lot. You are worth getting your grades up. You will have a degree to show for your hard work. I am praying for you, too. I made it through college and grad school with very bad depression. You can, too. You are not alone, I am still dealing with it. PM me any time if you want to talk. Take care.

 

[akaMorninglife]

If it helps at all, I can completely empathise (i hope that's the right word) with you. I'm about to screw myself out of college too (again). I have the final part of my SAT test next week and my brain is like a dying light bulb. (Yes, I'm nearly 19 years old and just now wrapping up my SATs) And I sooo know how it is trying to get people to hire a depressed person. I'm still technically unemployed, so I don't know what to do about that either.

Perhaps what Xenia Rose said might help. I don't really know how severe your depression is but maybe a walk before your study will help. Or... does your university have a counselor? (i don't at all mean to insult your intelligence, I know if it did have one you would have thought of that) but.. have you tried counseling? I have no experience at all with medication or counseling, so I don't really know what I'm talking about, sorry...

With me not being very knowledgable/helpful with depression solutions, all I can really do is keep you in my prayers. it's going to be okay... i completely understand what it's like..

 

[Judy02]

If it helps at all, I can completely empathise (i hope that's the right word) with you. I'm about to screw myself out of college too (again). I have the final part of my SAT test next week and my brain is like a dying light bulb. (Yes, I'm nearly 19 years old and just now wrapping up my SATs) And I sooo know how it is trying to get people to hire a depressed person. I'm still technically unemployed, so I don't know what to do about that either.

Perhaps what Xenia Rose said might help. I don't really know how severe your depression is but maybe a walk before your study will help. Or... does your university have a counselor? (i don't at all mean to insult your intelligence, I know if it did have one you would have thought of that) but.. have you tried counseling? I have no experience at all with medication or counseling, so I don't really know what I'm talking about, sorry...

With me not being very knowledgable/helpful with depression solutions, all I can really do is keep you in my prayers. it's going to be okay... i completely understand what it's like..

Thanks, I was just talking to my friend last night, and I think I just need more of an inspiring motivation about me. He said to see the exams as your enemy that you've got to fight and beat. Hehe sounds weird, but that kinda actually might help.

You didn't sound patronising don't worry Yeah I've tried counselling at uni, it helped at first, but don't think it does as much now, unless its just for venting, but think I'd rather have a friend for that. We'll see how it goes anyway...

 

[Judy02]

I made it through college and grad school with very bad depression. You can, too. You are not alone, I am still dealing with it. PM me any time if you want to talk. Take care.

Wow that's impressive well done! I know it affects people in different ways, some people seem to cope fine with school work while they're depressed, but it affects their lives in different ways instead. But yeah I've not understood how people can be at grad school, do masters etc while they're depressed. I'm not on anti depressants right now. I'm not convinced if they'll work but I'm still kind of thinking about it. It's just the hassle of side effects, finding the right one thatl work, if one ever does, and some drugs some people have said even made them feel worse, it's like argh! I'll see how it goes, and try to exercise regularly, swimming is my favourite sport! Thanks for the offer to PM, I may do that sometime xx

 

[katylees]

exercising really helps me, but its the motivation to get up and do it which is hard. Try going swimming just once a week or something. I don't the uni really care that i have depression, they won't change when i sit exams or anything.. ah well. Take care sis .. always here for you .. feel free to PM me or email me at any time

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I used to do badly because of fatigue and anxiety. I figured out how to use the anxiety to my advantage and the fatigue went away once I started exercising regularly.

If you are like I was and avoid studying or cannot concentrate due to the anxiety, you just have to start studying early (not the night before an exam but like the week before it) and as much as you can until you know the material so well, you feel confident. That's what has helped me.

 

[Judy02]

I used to do badly because of fatigue and anxiety. I figured out how to use the anxiety to my advantage and the fatigue went away once I started exercising regularly.

If you are like I was and avoid studying or cannot concentrate due to the anxiety, you just have to start studying early (not the night before an exam but like the week before it) and as much as you can until you know the material so well, you feel confident. That's what has helped me.

Thanks for the advice. I think its often been I've felt so low, I just can't concentrate or be motivated. Admittedly, sometimes the work we're set has been hard, but in the last 2 years, coping and managing depression took up so much time and energy, and was difficult to get under control in itself, I was just too exhausted and couldn't cope mentally with university work.

I will try, I think sometimes I need more of an inspiring motivation about me, to win this. I'm almost there (only 2 exams and an essay to go!) Even if it's not a great degree, and it doesn't end up doing anything for me job wise in the future, I'll just feel pleased and like I've made a massive achievement for just sticking through this, and graduating ya know Especially, because in second year (2004 - 2005 school year) I was just filled with suicidal thoughts all the time and crying constantly. I could've so easily dropped out so many times, but didn't, basically because I'm not the sort of person who likes giving up on something I've started, I can be a bit stubborn like that.

But yeah, it's confusing because some people who suffer from depression really don't seem like they struggle with school work that much, and I wonder how they do it? My friend made it through 4 years at an American University, with depression and was fine, and wrong as it may be or not, I feel envious and frustrated that thats not also me Maybe envious wasn't quite the right word...I'm pleased for her, but don't understand why I'm not coping. That, plus American Universities are MUCH harder work than British ones...whenever we got American study abroad students, they'd always comment on how easier it is over here, and how there are less tests and classes...


Anyway, yeah if anyone has any advice, please please let me know

I was gona try and read the course books now, just to familiarise myself, but right now I don't even have the motivation to do that, grr! Not a great sign xx

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

You could also break up the reading and other things you have to do into little parts. I did that in one of my classes because the book was so boring I could barely stand it. Of course, it took forever to get completely done... but it was less overwhelming to just read like 10 pages and then take a break than just reading the whole assignment all at once.

I'm almost there (only 2 exams and an essay to go!)

 

[Judy02]

You could also break up the reading and other things you have to do into little parts. I did that in one of my classes because the book was so boring I could barely stand it. Of course, it took forever to get completely done... but it was less overwhelming to just read like 10 pages and then take a break than just reading the whole assignment all at once.

Yeah I think I may try breaking up my work into little bits, and give myself small targets, I think that might actually help to be honest, and help me feel less overwhelmed and panicky. Thanks

 

[Eire_Frae]

Hey,
Like you I became depressed during Uni, and i found writing assignments such a struggle and i fell asleep in every class, but if i can do it so can you. i graduated last May with a 2(2) and the only reason i got that was because God helped me the whole way through. I would sit at my computer and just want to cry i couldnt think of anything but how crappy i was feeling but i kept praying God would help me write it because i really couldnt on my own. Im definitly not a scholar either i only just passed exams in school if i didnt fail and that was before depression so for me to get that result is amazing. Ask God for help to get out of bed and concentrate even if your not sure hes listening say the words anyway believeing he is there, he loves you and knows what you feel and longs for you to suceed. I know its easy to say to you pray for help cos sometimes thats as hard as doing the exam, even to say God I feel horible you are letting him in to the situation.

I pray you will pass your exams and that your depression will lift, God loves and cares for every single detail of your life

 

[palewildwoodflowr]

I went through a similar experience in college. It was so bad that my school's psychiatric clinic was encouraging me to drop out. And that made me feel worse about it.
Also, I can totally relate your sense of embarrasment of not being able to graduate with your friends. I'm sure its not helping to compare yourself to them. You are special and you have to do it in your own special way that may not be the most typical or what you would expect.

As hard as it is, take one day at a time...