Here is a completely made-up story, but I have my reasons for using this as a parallel.
Suppose there is a single woman, and she lives with her mother. Her mother has a handicap and is unable to live alone. They don't have money for nursing home care or assisted living, so the only option is for the daughter to live with the mother. The mother is in her 50's. The daughter moved from the state she lived in to care for her mother.
The mother is a horrible person. The daughter never had a close relationship with her mother because she's just impossible and mean to everyone. No one can stand her, but the daughter feels obligated to care for her needy mother. There is no one else to do it.
The daughter has her own health issues and is only able to work part-time. The Social Security between the two of them and the part-time job gets them by.
The daughter hasn't had much success making friends. No one wants to come over because the mother is just a horribly mean person. And just forget finding a boyfriend! Who would want to put up with that? She doesn't even bother going on dates anymore.
The daughter has come to despise her mother and feels little but contempt for her. She has tried talking with her but it does no good. She's sought professional help but that didn't do any good.
She knows she will never have a normal mother-daughter relationship. She gave up on that long ago. She just wants to get to a point where her mother doesn't get to her so bad. She takes care of her mom's needs but otherwise tries to avoid her. Sometimes she'll make an attempt to take her somewhere or do something with her but she always ends up regretting it, so there's not much trying on the daughter's part anymore. She just helps her mom and deals with it the best she can.
This has been going on for a few years now and it looks like it will go on like this for many, many more years.
The daughter doesn't know what to do. Her mom gets her down. She would be on the funny farm if it wasn't for her faith, trust, and reliance on God. God is the only thing that gets her through each day but it's still hard.
What advice would you have for the daughter? How does the daughter learn not to care, not let her mother get to her? Her mother deliberately does things to make her life difficult. She won't give her messages if someone calls. She'll say she's hungry then refuse to eat once something is made. There are a million things each day that the mother does that the daughter tries to overlook but the mother does it on purpose. And the mother loves to argue. Oh, she loves to start a fight!
The daughter feels pity for her mother. Her mother is a miserable person and doesn't have one friend in the whole world. But she's finding it hard to be pleasant to her and she doesn't want her mother to have that affect on her.
She draws closer to God, prays constantly, does her best, even when it's so hard, and she hopes that someday things will get better, but her situation is sad. She's lonely and wishes she had some friends and hopes someday to meet a nice man and get married. Maybe in 20 years or so when her mother passes on but what about until then?
What advice would you have for this woman?
Suppose there is a single woman, and she lives with her mother. Her mother has a handicap and is unable to live alone. They don't have money for nursing home care or assisted living, so the only option is for the daughter to live with the mother. The mother is in her 50's. The daughter moved from the state she lived in to care for her mother.
The mother is a horrible person. The daughter never had a close relationship with her mother because she's just impossible and mean to everyone. No one can stand her, but the daughter feels obligated to care for her needy mother. There is no one else to do it.
The daughter has her own health issues and is only able to work part-time. The Social Security between the two of them and the part-time job gets them by.
The daughter hasn't had much success making friends. No one wants to come over because the mother is just a horribly mean person. And just forget finding a boyfriend! Who would want to put up with that? She doesn't even bother going on dates anymore.
The daughter has come to despise her mother and feels little but contempt for her. She has tried talking with her but it does no good. She's sought professional help but that didn't do any good.
She knows she will never have a normal mother-daughter relationship. She gave up on that long ago. She just wants to get to a point where her mother doesn't get to her so bad. She takes care of her mom's needs but otherwise tries to avoid her. Sometimes she'll make an attempt to take her somewhere or do something with her but she always ends up regretting it, so there's not much trying on the daughter's part anymore. She just helps her mom and deals with it the best she can.
This has been going on for a few years now and it looks like it will go on like this for many, many more years.
The daughter doesn't know what to do. Her mom gets her down. She would be on the funny farm if it wasn't for her faith, trust, and reliance on God. God is the only thing that gets her through each day but it's still hard.
What advice would you have for the daughter? How does the daughter learn not to care, not let her mother get to her? Her mother deliberately does things to make her life difficult. She won't give her messages if someone calls. She'll say she's hungry then refuse to eat once something is made. There are a million things each day that the mother does that the daughter tries to overlook but the mother does it on purpose. And the mother loves to argue. Oh, she loves to start a fight!
The daughter feels pity for her mother. Her mother is a miserable person and doesn't have one friend in the whole world. But she's finding it hard to be pleasant to her and she doesn't want her mother to have that affect on her.
She draws closer to God, prays constantly, does her best, even when it's so hard, and she hopes that someday things will get better, but her situation is sad. She's lonely and wishes she had some friends and hopes someday to meet a nice man and get married. Maybe in 20 years or so when her mother passes on but what about until then?
What advice would you have for this woman?
