Depressed Boyfriend

[Living4Him03]

Hi all, my boyfriend and I have been having more "squabbles" recently than normal. He keeps telling me that I don't understand him and that he feels alone. When he was 16 his parents divorced and it was very difficult for him--he is still dealing with the pain. Also, he recently was discharged from the navy because of an injury to his foot that prevented him from completing officer candidate school. I think he may be depressed and I'm not sure what to do for him. I know he is frustrated and wants to explain how he feels, but doesn't feel that he can really get me to understand what he's going to. I don't want him to feel alone and I want to help him deal with the pain he is facing. What can I do? We are both Christians and I have been praying for him as often as possible.

He loves to read and I wish I knew of a devotional or book I could recommend that has a Christian perspective on life that would be of help to him. Not necessarily the specific topic of depression, but something that would encourage him and help him see that he is not alone? Anyone have any ideas? Thanks so much!

 

[TheFirstNoelle]

Hi all, my boyfriend and I have been having more "squabbles" recently than normal. He keeps telling me that I don't understand him and that he feels alone. When he was 16 his parents divorced and it was very difficult for him--he is still dealing with the pain. Also, he recently was discharged from the navy because of an injury to his foot that prevented him from completing officer candidate school. I think he may be depressed and I'm not sure what to do for him. I know he is frustrated and wants to explain how he feels, but doesn't feel that he can really get me to understand what he's going to. I don't want him to feel alone and I want to help him deal with the pain he is facing. What can I do? We are both Christians and I have been praying for him as often as possible.

He loves to read and I wish I knew of a devotional or book I could recommend that has a Christian perspective on life that would be of help to him. Not necessarily the specific topic of depression, but something that would encourage him and help him see that he is not alone? Anyone have any ideas? Thanks so much!

"The Purpose-Driven Life" by Rick Warren, is fantastic

 

[Living4Him03]

Thanks! My brother has been reading that and likes it, so maybe I will see if he wants to read it. The problem is that it's such a big thing now...and he's not into conformity at all...only to the will of God. He despises books that are "the thing" to read...I guess I can still try!

 

[Teal]

ok He may have a problem putting it into words if so find a way fro him to express it. one of the major things that you can do for hikm is just be there for him. I have been extremly depress in recent history. Trust me just being there for him will help 200%. hug him and just hold him, let him know you are there for him.
Tell him something like, Yes they navy says you arent good enough, but Im not the navy you are more than good enough for me. or something like that.

 

[SlowRoasted]

Ive been courting my girlfriend for a while now and its been great. There has been a time recently that I have gotten a bit discouraged and down. It all stemmed from me not doing my quiet times and not being right with God. You might ask him how his relationship with God is going. When our relationship with God isnt right it will without a doubt effect our relationships with our loved ones. your sound like a great person, keep on supporting him and being there for him.

 

[Living4Him03]

It's not that he feels not good enough for the Navy, he understands why he had to leave and knows that God has other plans, but still it's been rough for him to accept that. I've never been through a test of faith like that, so I am not sure how that feels. I guess I've been selfish lately in not trying to understand, but sometimes it seems as if he's okay with it and has moved on, other times I realize he has not. As far as his relationship with God, I've asked him to describe it for me and tell me what's going on but he says that it's not something he can put into words for me and if he could he's still not sure I'd understand. I guess he feels that we're at different places with God. I suppose I could try asking him about it again, without making him feel like i'm accusing him of a bad relationship with God or something. Any suggestions?

 

[hanaya]

As someone who's been there, the best piece of advice I can give to you is just to be there for him. Give him space to figure out what he needs to but still be there, supporting him no matter what.

-Hanaya

 

[lil_god_lova]

Look you need to tell him you wnana help and understand but you can't if you don't know. It seems harsh but sometimes it is kinda what is needed for someone to understand ok?

 

[Mrs K 2004]

I feel as I read through the posts here, that I have experianced many of them, and I have been there! It's amazing just how much God has helped me through!!

My future husband spent most of his life in a depression, although it went un noticed by a lot of people (he kept it locked up inside) and just over a year ago, I finally convinced him to seek proffesional help, and he has made leaps and bounds!!

My best advice to you is to be there for him! Support him and let him know you are there! If you can convince him to talk to someone, that could help! I know for my fh to talk to a psychologist it helped him to get an outside perspective!

If you EVER need someone to talk to, just PM me

 

[desi]

Tell him failing Navy officer school is no excuse to feel sorry for himself as it is both lame and unattractive to you.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Life throws everyone hanging curveballs.
He has to work out his issues for himself. You can't do it for him.
We all have to work out our own issues.

 

[Living4Him03]

Life throws everyone hanging curveballs.
He has to work out his issues for himself. You can't do it for him.
We all have to work out our own issues.

Amen. Thanks mr. cheese.