Depressed because of AS

[wblastyn]

I'm feeling quite low at the minute due to my AS. I'm tired of not fitting in and finding it difficult communicating with people.

My life consists of sitting in my room on my PC. Usually when I go out I'm just reminded of how different I am compared to other people, which makes me feel inadequate.

Well I have nothing more to say.

 

[Cooch]

Mate....

You're not alone.

Best suggestion that I can give is to find a way to help others. Everyone has something to give, and we are at our best when we are focussing on others, rather than on ourselves.

Little enough, but you are not alone..... Brother.

Regards......... Cooch

 

[gratefulgrace]

It is terrible to be alone and feel different and isolated. When I was your age I also was going through severe depression and can remember at work being afraid to eat in front of people. I don't know how I made it through but I did and I got better. Now I know AS is a life long condition but perhaps you are also battling a depression on top of it. A lot of AS people are pretty ok with who they are and most have lots to offer the communities around them. I hope you can find some support groups in you area or in your church. Hang in there God made you unique for a reason. gg

 

[rainier]

I think that feeling inadequate because you don't fit is a norm with just about any disability especially mental disorders. What people don't understand they judge. And so the individual feel inadequate and isolated from the community. I recall go through this for years; my whole life I had wanted to be quote and quote normal. I wanted to fit in and have lots of friends. While I was going through one of my lowest times in life I was watching people with friends and clicks and all that. And funny thing is it did not look at all like I would of thought.

When I really took the time to look at it; and time to recall I realized I was not sure that is what wanted at all. The world gone to naught. Ethics and morals seeem to be a thing of the past and I have both. What does it mean to be normal and fit in anyhow. You know the one good thing about having a disability is when you make friends you make true friends; instead of you know people who like you while everything is good and then when they can not get anything else from you or things go bad they are gone. Fitting in is over-rated really if you think about.

The relationship with Christ is all important and the wonderful thing about Christ is He does not care about AS or any other disorder. God looks at the heart and their are disabled human hearts. And there is no disability Christ can not heal. Better to be isolated from the world than from Christ.

Of course I am not trying to make light of the fact you feel isolated, only saying that the world is cruel and extremely wicked. You and Christ make a majority and it my recommendation you just draw near to Him. Because he will take you as you are and love you no matter what. And that is what you need is to feel accepted. Christ never rejects anyone and He is able comfort. The world is passing away; soon is the coming of our Lord and when He comes the only opinion that is going count is His. And see we all pass and then there is no more disorders. Praise the Lord.

 

[gratefulgrace]

I also really believe that a good church community can help you find the friendship and affirmation you need. It may take prayer and a bit of searching but I am sure there is a special place were you can shine and be yourself without feeing you have to measure up to a specific social standard. I hope so anyway. Jan

 

[daisey]

I clicked on this forum because I have an Autistic son. He is severely disabled with both Autism and Mental disabilities so he is not like you at all. But, I want to say it is how people percieve things. The same person, my son 19, is seen as unusual or as delightful. He pretends to direct the choir on Sunday mornings quite uninhibitedly. Some see it as weird while others see it as delightful. You said you didn't like feeling different. I don't know what that is like and am sorry you feel that way. I would like for you to see yourself as that delightful person that I am sure someone else feels about you.

 

[EdmundPevensie]

Hang in there, wblastyn! I discovered I had AS only about six weeks ago, and it's been a real eye-opener for me. I've fought (and sometimes not fought enough) with depression for most of my life, but it's in some way comforting to know at least that there's a reason I don't always get along with people or don't fit in.

I found it's relieved my depressions a bit to keep in mind, "hey, I'm just different" or "this is the way God made me, and He never does anything without a reason." (Whereas before I would tend to think, "Crud, I'm such a screw-up." Which didn't help.)

 

[daisey]

Hope your feeling better today.

 

[Timuchin]

Hang in there, wblastyn! I discovered I had AS only about six weeks ago, and it's been a real eye-opener for me. I've fought (and sometimes not fought enough) with depression for most of my life, but it's in some way comforting to know at least that there's a reason I don't always get along with people or don't fit in.

I found it's relieved my depressions a bit to keep in mind, "hey, I'm just different" or "this is the way God made me, and He never does anything without a reason." (Whereas before I would tend to think, "Crud, I'm such a screw-up." Which didn't help.)

Yeah, you made a lousy Normal -- because you weren't a Normal! Welcome to the minority!

Here's a post on which kind of ASD are you: http://www.asagjax.org/index.php?module=phpwsbb&PHPWSBB_MAN_OP=view&PHPWS_MAN_ITEMS[]=3

 

[Timuchin]

I also really believe that a good church community can help you find the friendship and affirmation you need. It may take prayer and a bit of searching but I am sure there is a special place were you can shine and be yourself without feeing you have to measure up to a specific social standard. I hope so anyway. Jan

If only it were that easy ... I remember a pastor telling me, "Why don't you just be like me? Shape up!"

However, people will cut us slack as we tell them we have this medical-sounding diagnosis of ASD, Aspergers, Pdd/Nos, etc.

 

[gratefulgrace]

Well thumbs down to that pastor. I certainly hope that is not the norm for pastoral counselling. Some people are called pastors but really aren't meant for the job. Malybe they are good speakers or administrators but if you don't have a shepherds heart for God's people then forget it.
I guess it will often be up to you to be a "self advocate" and if you inform people about your condition matter of factly I am sure most Christians would understand and try to help. At least I would hope so. Maybe I am different because I have experienced social difficulties , raised disabled children and work with learning disabled students. gg

 

[jsu5381m]

I get depressed too. Hang in there.

 

[EdmundPevensie]

Yeah, you made a lousy Normal -- because you weren't a Normal! Welcome to the minority!

THANKS Tim! Do I get a membership card? Maybe a "body language" decoder ring?

 

[wblastyn]

Well I was feeling better until I had to sit my exams a few weeks ago. The pressure triggered my depression and I became so ill that I couldn't do them. I have to repeat the 1st semester again, which means having to go into a class full of strangers again.

At the minute I am so depressed, I have even considered suicide because at least then I wouldn't have to put up with all this pain anymore. I'm just so tired of being lonely and not fitting in.

My parents invited some of their friends around after church today for something to eat and it made me feel even worse because everyone was chatting and getting on well, and I started to feel really low because I cannot do that. There's only 1 person from church who I can really get on with.

I'm afraid that when my parents die I will be even more alone because they are really the only people who I feel comfortable around.

 

[gratefulgrace]

Well I was feeling better until I had to sit my exams a few weeks ago. The pressure triggered my depression and I became so ill that I couldn't do them. I have to repeat the 1st semester again, which means having to go into a class full of strangers again.

At the minute I am so depressed, I have even considered suicide because at least then I wouldn't have to put up with all this pain anymore. I'm just so tired of being lonely and not fitting in.

My parents invited some of their friends around after church today for something to eat and it made me feel even worse because everyone was chatting and getting on well, and I started to feel really low because I cannot do that. There's only 1 person from church who I can really get on with.

I'm afraid that when my parents die I will be even more alone because they are really the only people who I feel comfortable around.

I can tell you are in so much pain and I am so sad for you. What a shame about your exams. Isn't there any way you can just write them at another time without having to do all the classes again? Have you been able to meet with counsellors at your school and qualify for an IEP(individualized education plan) becaue of your struggle with AS? I am sure you could get doctors to help you with that. You should qualify and that could mean you are able to take longer to write or write in a separate setting or use computer etc. depending on what your needs are. I would say you need help advocating for your educational rights as a person with a disabling condition. gg

 

[HazelAngel]

I really feel for ya Wblastyn. I also have Aspergers Syndrome. I no it can be depressing sometimes, sometimes I wish I didnt have it. When I go to church there are ppl whom I know but I dont make friends with them.