Depressed and scared - starting to find out the reason?

[guitarintro]

I recently went to the doctor and he diagnosed me with mild depression. The counsellor he recommended is currently out of town until May, so I went to my pastor to talk.

For the past week I have woke up scared, hopeless and unmotivated. I have plans to go to school for a new career, but those plans are now on hold because I still have these scared feeling.

I am starting to realize if this is punishment for my previous sins. I have been addicted to pornography for a few years now . After doing some research, it feels like my brain is addicted to pornography and sexual simulation. It makes sense because I don't find everyday pleasures (like playing guitar, watching a movie, hanging with friends) as enjoyable as before. In fact, I kind of shy away from that. In other words, it feels like my dopamine in my brain is at an all-time high when I engage in the sex-related, and my brain is numb to everyday things.

Once again, I am really scared. I have taken steps to move away from pornography and moved my computer out my room. But in terms of masturbation, I am afraid that will trigger it again.

I didn't know it will turn out like this. I've read it can take weeks for me to get back to normal.

I have confessed and repented my sins to God. I have relied on God more than ever in my life and my family has been so important to me right now. But I still feel alone. I really want to change my behaviour for good, but it feels so hard.

Is there anything I can do to speed up the recovery process?

 

[Knockout]

welcome to the same boat that 75% of Christian males are in

 

[guitarintro]

welcome to the same boat that 75% of Christian males are in

Somehow that made me feel a bit better, but I don't want to just relieve the symptoms, but take out the root cause.

I've cried 3 times this week. I am scared of this feeling. How will I overcome this?

 

[boogalaboogala]

I recently went to the doctor and he diagnosed me with mild depression. The counsellor he recommended is currently out of town until May, so I went to my pastor to talk.

For the past week I have woke up scared, hopeless and unmotivated. I have plans to go to school for a new career, but those plans are now on hold because I still have these scared feeling.

I am starting to realize if this is punishment for my previous sins. I have been addicted to pornography for a few years now . After doing some research, it feels like my brain is addicted to pornography and sexual simulation. It makes sense because I don't find everyday pleasures (like playing guitar, watching a movie, hanging with friends) as enjoyable as before. In fact, I kind of shy away from that. In other words, it feels like my dopamine in my brain is at an all-time high when I engage in the sex-related, and my brain is numb to everyday things.

Once again, I am really scared. I have taken steps to move away from pornography and moved my computer out my room. But in terms of masturbation, I am afraid that will trigger it again.

I didn't know it will turn out like this. I've read it can take weeks for me to get back to normal.

I have confessed and repented my sins to God. I have relied on God more than ever in my life and my family has been so important to me right now. But I still feel alone. I really want to change my behaviour for good, but it feels so hard.

Is there anything I can do to speed up the recovery process?

hey quin.. just so you know.. masterbating alot is usually a result of depression.
i mean, not always.. i have a problem with it.. what can i say.. i mean, i have asked God to intervene. all i can say,is if you figure out away to stop.. message me to let me know so that i too can stop..

 

[Knockout]

There are ways to cut it down drastically just have to change your habits and stay busy. If you are not busy you become idle.

 

[boogalaboogala]

Somehow that made me feel a bit better, but I don't want to just relieve the symptoms, but take out the root cause.

I've cried 3 times this week. I am scared of this feeling. How will I overcome this?

i don't think you need to cry about it.. i mean, we are sexual.. it seems that every guy i know is.. girls too.. we should be thankful that we are not out their as players.. i mean sleeping around. then the real risks start to add up..
i know married men like my brother that do it half a dozen times a day. plus the intimacy with their wives on top of all of that.. i mean everyone deals with this...
this isn't a new thing..

 

[miss-a]

This is a ministry that offers free online help for all addictions, including porn. I think they also have mentors who work with you online. Here's the link: Freedom from habitual sin: Overeating, Pornography, Smoking, Drinking

 

[mytel]

I believe its really only through God that we can overcome such things, not through our own ways or our own strength. Through Christ, God gives grace freely, though we are undeserved. We need to accept it, and be ever grateful for his forgiveness, and follow Him. If we truly repent of our ways and turn to Him, i believe He can set us free from anything. So pray everyday about it, ask Him to help you to avoid such things, and hand the issue over to Him truly, and He can set you free by His will not by ours. Just trust in Him, through Him all things are possible.

i believe overcoming these things is not something we earn through our own efforts, its something we need to rely on His strength for, through prayer and trust and faith in Him.

I know the struggle of anxieties and fear, all i can say is from my own experience, its important to have faith. I need to learn to deny myself daily, and accept His grace. The bible says we are cleansed from our sins through Jesus, if we walk in Him (see 1 John 1:7), We need truly believe through solid and strong faith, that he has answered our prayers and forgiven our sin. Pray deeply and spend time with God in worship.

For me, i desire to make Jesus the central figure of my life, through which all thoughts filter through, so when i have thoughts that give fear/anxiety, i try to instead refocus on Jesus. I see him as an enveloping light that blocks those thoughts,I focus on believing, though undeserved, i have been forgiven through Him. It is hard because life is hard and there is so much distractions, thats why i find i need to have regular times of prayer, and daily bible reading, especially the words of Jesus in the gospels. I think of it sometimes as food that i need daily, to stay focused on Him and what He has done for me. I struggle of course like everyone i guess, but i hope this can help you and anyone else who might struggle as well. Its through Christ only.

 

[boogalaboogala]

This is a ministry that offers free online help for all addictions, including porn. I think they also have mentors who work with you online. Here's the link: Freedom from habitual sin: Overeating, Pornography, Smoking, Drinking

porn isn't always the problem for everyone.. i don't even watch porn.. i checkout pics of nudies every now and then. i mean, i can wake up out of a deep sleep and do it.. and i have nothing on my mind other than, is it going to be toast or oatmeal this morning.. and still do it.
so porn isn't the problem..
my brother actually went to the military doctor on the base.. and told him that he cannot keep it down.. and control himself..
this is the help he got.. the doctor told him he should be happy, because with 90% of guys it is just the opposite.. so i mean, there really isn't any help for the secular community..
i really do think that it goes hand in hand with depression.. i notice that if i am going through a spell of not getting out and around people.. i stop shaving.. yes i still shower.. i leave the dishes.. i eat alot of comfort food and put on some weight.. and i am masterbating more frequently..
so i am sure that is the main cause..
when i am busy. the thought seldom crosses my mind..
i believe it is like a security blanket that comforts us.. infact i get the same satisfaction out of that as i would eating junk food.. go figure...
here is a fact.. when i get lonely, and start to think that i may want a woman in my life.. i just do that or believe it or not, eat something. and that desire for a woman goes away.. so tell me what the logic is in that..
i find that most people are petrified that anyone else might find out that they do this.. i will talk to anyone about it.. i mean, i am no different that anyone else.. i know that i am not dirty or inferior for doing it..
besides how else are we going to come to grips with this.. no pun intended..

 

[guitarintro]

Thanks for the resources everyone. The thing is, I am having difficult even doing daily routines these days, like meeting up with friends or watching regular movies. I get very anxious and keep worrying all day and it has made me really scared of the future.

The only people I feel comfortable with right now are my parents and my family.

I am literally scared and not sure what to do. I know I should rely on God, but how exactly do we do this?

 

[miss-a]

The program I listed is an online program. You don't have to see anyone or go anywhere. The point of the progam is to teach you to rely on God. I think if you check it out, you'll find it can help you.

 

[Honest Al]

Hi guitarintro,

It's been a long time now, thank God (about 15 years), but I used to have a job that caused me to see immoral pictures. And yes it was a problem. And yes I hated it deeply and was scared. And regardless of what anyone else may tell you, yes it is wrong and harmful. (Please don't ever let anyone persuade you that it is okay, or that it's not harmful.)

I can honestly tell you that I'm a thousand times happier (and free-er--I don't think that's how you spell it) now. I can also tell you that the closer to God I get the more clearly I see; and the more clearly I see, the more I love what is right and hate what is wrong. And as a part of that process, or a result of that process, that particular sin has absolutely no pull on me whatsoever. And I can tell you, that's a very happy place to be. And I know there's nothing in the world worth trading this for.

(I don't know that it really matters, but I'll tell you that I'm a very happily married.)

I know I don't have all the answers, or the perfect answer, but I'm convinced that there's some kind of blend between God helping us, and we also helping ourselves. ( I suppose some will disagree with that.) I also believe a lot has to do with right thinking. And going along with that, I'm a huge believer in filling our minds with Bible passages and Bible truth. I'll share with you one I really like:

"I (Paul) have been sent to bring faith to those God has chosen and to teach them to know the truth that shows them how to live godly lives... For the greace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives." {Titus 1:1; 2:11, 12 NLT, NIV}

My wife and I will be praying for you. I hope you'll keep us updated. And remember: don't ever give up: "Even if godly people fall down seven times, they always get up." {Proverbs 24:16 NIrV}

God Bless

 

[mytel]

Maybe focus on your faith. We need to have faith, and believe that what Christ has done for us, has given us true freedom. We need faith to believe that He is there for us, and on our side. When you get scared focus on Jesus, believe that he has paid the price in full, once and for all. Focus also on grace, all of us fall short, yet while we were still sinners he died for us. That is the love He has shown us, we are free through Him. I can relate to your feelings, and all i can speak of is from my own experience, i still struggle and am still learning. We need to trust in Him, and keep going. I feel like the healing process is ongoing, allow God to make your paths straight, leaning on his understanding. Just hand our life over, trust in Him and his timing.

 

[Emmy]

Dear Guintarintro. You need to busy yourself with good things to do, and Jesus our Saviour tells you how. In Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus tells a Lawyer:
" The first and great things is to love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul and with all the mind: the second is like it: Love thy neighbour as you love thyself. Jesus also tells us: " On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." Love is very important to God our Heavenly Father. We have to learn to love freely, with no tags attached.
The Bible tells us to " Repent " and to be " Born Again." We have to change our selfish character, to become loving and caring.
We ask God to give us His Love, then thank God and share all Love and Care with our neighbour: ( Matthew 7: 7-10) We keep asking and thanking God, then sharing all Love and Joy with all around us: all we know and all we meet,
friends and not friends. God will see our loving efforts, and God will approve and Bless us. Love is a Christian`s great weapon, with love we will overcome all anger and wrong doing. It might take a bit longer to work out, but love will change us gradually into the sons and daughters, which God wants us to become. God is Love, and God wants loving sons and daughters. Jesus will help and guide us: JESUS IS THE WAY. You will find that you are busy doing what Jesus asks us, and life will be filled with Love and Joy, rather than with being bored and do what you wish to give up. You will stop feeling depressed and scared, and will be doing what Jesus tells us to do.

 

[Emmy]

Dear Monitor, I have not quite finished. God will approve and Bless you. I say this with love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[BFine]

Thank you miss-a, I have been trying for the longest time to recall the
other name of the online resource that also deals with helping
people overcome their "strongholds".... Setting captives free-- that's the name of it!

To the OP:
I also recommend checking out this site: Porn Stats | Covenant Eyes | The Leaders in Accountability Software


What are you scared of? Is it something you can pin-point?

 

[guitarintro]

Thank you miss-a, I have been trying for the longest time to recall the
other name of the online resource that also deals with helping
people overcome their "strongholds".... Setting captives free-- that's the name of it!

To the OP:
I also recommend checking out this site: Porn Stats | Covenant Eyes | The Leaders in Accountability Software


What are you scared of? Is it something you can pin-point?

Thanks. I downloaded it.

For the past week, I have been waking up with morning anxiety, afraid of the world. Then it goes away. My doctor says I have an overactive thyroid, but will be checking with him this week again.

It's just the anxiety that is keeping me on the edge all the time. It goes away and then comes back, but I have never been so afraid in my life.

Anxious of being anxious.

It's been over a week since I went cold-turkey. God has given me the strength.

 

[pwbarnes]

Hey bro, been there, done that. You know what helped me most? Getting involved in a Christian support group named Celebrate Recovery. I started going there faithfully. I was able to discuss my problem openly with other guys who made me realize that it is a very common issue for us guys, and that it can be overcome! I suggest that you check out CR groups in your area and go! You won't regret it.

 

[Emmy]

Dear guatarintro. It could be that God wants you to mix more with people around you. Jesus gives us good advice in Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus tells a Lawyer: " The first and great Commandment is: Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy might. The second is like it: Love thy neighbour as thyself." Jesus also tells us that on these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets. Very important, God wants our Love and also love for our neighbour. God made us all in His image, and God wants our Love all around. Matthew 7: 7-10: tells us: " Ask and ye shall receive," then we thank God, and share all Love and Joy with our neighbour: all we know and all we meet, friends and not friends. We keep asking God for Love and Joy, then thank God, and share all Love and Joy with our neighbour. We might stumble and forget at times, but then we ask God to forgive us, and carry on Loving and Caring. God is Love, and God wants loving men and women.
Also, when we share love and compassion, Satan and all his followers will flee from us. Love is a Christian`s great weapon, with love we will overcome all
obstacles, and wrong behaviour. Keep asking God for Love and share it with all around you, and you will find God`s approval and God`s Blessings.
I say this with love, guatarintro. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[blankCrossfire]

Is there anything I can do to speed up the recovery process?

No, there isn't.
Recovery takes time but focusing on Christ in times of temptation will relieve the anxiety.

2 Corinthians 12:9
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”


We can pray that our pain and troubles would just go away but you'll find that it's in these times that you grow as a person and become stronger through the trials. Being refined through the fire. I believe James 1 talks about this, you should read it when you get the chance.

Count it all joy, know that you've addressed the problem and are seeking the Lord to see you through it. Don't lose sight of Him. Stay in His Word and go to Him in prayer each and every time you are tempted. Have Him be the first resource you go to and not a last resort.