Depressed and Insecure

[wanderingwombat19]

Hi everyone, I’m here to get this off my chest that I’m not exactly in the healthiest mindset right now. My insecurities about myself have really hindered me in my everyday life. I’m a 23-year-old college student and youth leader. I have major insecurities about how I look like a teenager, my voice, how bad my grades are, how terrible of a youth leader I am, how small I am down there, how poor my family is, how terrible a son I am, how I never said “I love you” to my dad for 5 years before he died, and how I have never had a gf. The last one seems to be the one of the worst for me.

I never thought I was bad looking until recently because now I’m 23 and still never had a gf. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried with some girls, but it just didn’t work out. It never reached beyond the “talking” stage. It makes me question what am I doing wrong and my personality. Am I not lovable? It seems that way. I pray to the Lord about this but it’s never clear. It feels as if He’s not listening. It really makes me feel alone. This, on top of all my other insecurities, makes me really hate myself. It really makes me wonder if it’s better if I was just dead.

I dwell on this so much that the question of suicide always comes up in my head, but I could never bring myself to do it. Something just always convinces me otherwise. I think this is the Holy Spirit. It makes believe that God is listening, but thoughts keep creeping in to my head at night. I’m constantly at war in my own mind, and it makes me lose faith in God. I have keep repeating Psalms and Proverbs just to make it through the day. I want His words to be true, I want to be free from this endless cycle of self-hatred, but my prayers just never seem to reach Him. I don’t mean to be selfish, but I would really appreciate prayers right now. I’m lost, broken, and I don’t know what to do anymore.

 

[Grace2022]

Hi everyone, I’m here to get this off my chest that I’m not exactly in the healthiest mindset right now. My insecurities about myself have really hindered me in my everyday life. I’m a 23-year-old college student and youth leader. I have major insecurities about how I look like a teenager, my voice, how bad my grades are, how terrible of a youth leader I am, how small I am down there, how poor my family is, how terrible a son I am, how I never said “I love you” to my dad for 5 years before he died, and how I have never had a gf. The last one seems to be the one of the worst for me.

I never thought I was bad looking until recently because now I’m 23 and still never had a gf. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried with some girls, but it just didn’t work out. It never reached beyond the “talking” stage. It makes me question what am I doing wrong and my personality. Am I not lovable? It seems that way. I pray to the Lord about this but it’s never clear. It feels as if He’s not listening. It really makes me feel alone. This, on top of all my other insecurities, makes me really hate myself. It really makes me wonder if it’s better if I was just dead.

I dwell on this so much that the question of suicide always comes up in my head, but I could never bring myself to do it. Something just always convinces me otherwise. I think this is the Holy Spirit. It makes believe that God is listening, but thoughts keep creeping in to my head at night. I’m constantly at war in my own mind, and it makes me lose faith in God. I have keep repeating Psalms and Proverbs just to make it through the day. I want His words to be true, I want to be free from this endless cycle of self-hatred, but my prayers just never seem to reach Him. I don’t mean to be selfish, but I would really appreciate prayers right now. I’m lost, broken, and I don’t know what to do anymore.

Hi
oh my dear, it makes me so sad to read this.
Pray to Lord Jesus from your heart. He loves you. Ask Him to help you. Pray sincerely and all will come to you. Listen to Jesus voice, not the voice of the enemy. The enemy at present is whispering negatively to you. Keep your eyes on Jesus only. Ignore those awful dark whispers. God loves and values you always and never abandons you.


As for girls, be your best genuine self, that's it. Ask questions about their interests. Get involved in helping others. Join a church, get involved, all will be well.
Private message me if you like. I am happy to help. X

 

[Rescued One]

I like this:

10 Powerful Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt

Exercise, sunshine, and healthy food are good for you!

Set goals and accomplish things. Keep a journal of your achievements.

 

[mukk_in]

Hi everyone, I’m here to get this off my chest that I’m not exactly in the healthiest mindset right now. My insecurities about myself have really hindered me in my everyday life. I’m a 23-year-old college student and youth leader. I have major insecurities about how I look like a teenager, my voice, how bad my grades are, how terrible of a youth leader I am, how small I am down there, how poor my family is, how terrible a son I am, how I never said “I love you” to my dad for 5 years before he died, and how I have never had a gf. The last one seems to be the one of the worst for me.

I never thought I was bad looking until recently because now I’m 23 and still never had a gf. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried with some girls, but it just didn’t work out. It never reached beyond the “talking” stage. It makes me question what am I doing wrong and my personality. Am I not lovable? It seems that way. I pray to the Lord about this but it’s never clear. It feels as if He’s not listening. It really makes me feel alone. This, on top of all my other insecurities, makes me really hate myself. It really makes me wonder if it’s better if I was just dead.

I dwell on this so much that the question of suicide always comes up in my head, but I could never bring myself to do it. Something just always convinces me otherwise. I think this is the Holy Spirit. It makes believe that God is listening, but thoughts keep creeping in to my head at night. I’m constantly at war in my own mind, and it makes me lose faith in God. I have keep repeating Psalms and Proverbs just to make it through the day. I want His words to be true, I want to be free from this endless cycle of self-hatred, but my prayers just never seem to reach Him. I don’t mean to be selfish, but I would really appreciate prayers right now. I’m lost, broken, and I don’t know what to do anymore.

We all have insecurities son. Some of us are just better at hiding them. Whenever you feel insecure meditate on this verse "I praise you (God Almighty) because I'm fearfully and wonderfully made...." (Psalm 139:14). God bless .

 

[Tolworth John]

My insecurities about myself have really hindered me in my everyday life

I am sorry that you have worriedthrough out your life.
May I suggest that you talk to a student councellor and to your tutor.

You really need to focus on your education, to use your anxiety to push yourself to do better work.
To get a qualifcation that will enable you to earn a living.
Try to look at your achievements, you've been a youth leader, so have leadership qualities. You got in to college, so your grades were good. You have friends who are femail, yes no girlfriend, that will come.
Buiold on these your confidence in your self will help you continue to do well.

 

[Jeshu]

my dear brother it is the focus that is wrong in your life, i know because it has been, and at times still is, like that in my life. See when we focus on ourselves - as depressive thoughts are so good at doing as well as selfish ones - then satan catches us in his traps- both ways - and so we will miss out on the voice of Jesus and get stuck with the false prophet, temptress and accuser instead.

Please brother watch out heeding the false prophet! The false prophet predicts - gloom and doom to those who love to seek right - and honour and riches to those who believes his lies straight down the line. Very much so!!!

Whatever way! satan knows that if are preoccupied with ourselves and our needs a lot - which our societies teach us to do and be - all the time - then our hearts become empty! Our hearts become empty because satan steals our good life, as we surrenderer our good life to his lies about God, other people, and of course ourselves. Life is expensive and painful for loving ones serving big satan's henchmen that is for sizzles.

In your case you best surrendering yourself to Jesus and learning to love Him more than your own needs and wants and keep your focus on Him - and away from that negative self focus within - and see that freedom of those negative thoughts and feelings will come along with that - unless you are physically ill and this is the reason you have been feeling as you do, which is an possibility as well, please do keep that in mind.

However honest bro, a life struggling depression has taught me that self focus is a killer if we don't bring what we find to Jesus and let Him teach us to love and respect even ourselves as He does. See if you don't love yourself how can you love your neighbour or yourself in all your own needs and desires, let fulfill other peoples needs? We get cut of from good life, as so often is the case when we become depressed, because we cut of from people mainly by the distrust the false prophet puts into our minds through the lies dwelling in our minds about ourselves, others and about God and His role in all of this. (Depression will blame you, and then God and other, and then you again, in a everlasting catch 22 that robs you of your good life and brings bad life about.

E.g thinking we might be ugly when God has made us all good and perfectly good looking, is therefore in truth an offense against our Creator and against ourself brother, that is why it feels so bad when we believe such thoughts about ourselves or others. To think you might be ugly is a bad sin just read Psalm 139 and you will see what i mean.

Now with regards to a girl friend the place where trust is needed and that is why your focus ought to be on Jesus! For The Living Word will lead you beside still plentiful waters and bring about plenty of fruit. If anyone knows who is your best bet and will lead you to her it will be Him bro! It has certainly been like that in my life.

As things stand please learn to love yourself, and then love your neighbour with that self love serving God, and you will find the answers you are looking for. Especially if you learn to read/hear/see The Word of God as a personal address from Him and you will be blessed beyond your wildest dreams.

Honesty true.


Much love your way.



Twice Blinded

What destroyer, where would he be?
The deadly snake bite I didn't see!
Still part of myself was dragged away,
held captive there by wicked sway,
all the lies sown in my soul,
day by day taking control,
feeding my life lies and misery,
my good times became history.

Bringing thoughts and feelings around,
which are in no way sound,
rather inner kings cruel and strong,
those worldly ways so very wrong,
raising Babylon in all her might,
holding me captive in my fright,
denying grace to rule my ways,
mocking God in His face.

Horse hooves trampling my soul,
grass-hoppers devouring all,
scorpion stings stinging,
famine upon famine bringing,
brimstone burn everything to ash,
massive hailstones me to smash,
the darkness ever growing close,
for the goats got me by the nose.

So working for another's bread,
God's loving truth I forget,
thinking my world would always stink,
driving my good life to the brink,
yet there at the bottom of my might,
I finally began to see the light..,
..Jesus, whom I bring so much grief,
when I have that liar as my chief!

And so The Truth did shine on me!
His Spirit alive in my heart to see!
Oh what blinding light I saw there?
God's goodness displayed everywhere!
His love washing me white as snow!
His loving truth inside my life to flow!
Oh Lamb of God forever to be praised!
For from the dead I have been raised!

 

[Another Lazarus]

Just try to do everything for God.

 

[gloriousday2006]

Hi everyone, I’m here to get this off my chest that I’m not exactly in the healthiest mindset right now. My insecurities about myself have really hindered me in my everyday life. I’m a 23-year-old college student and youth leader. I have major insecurities about how I look like a teenager, my voice, how bad my grades are, how terrible of a youth leader I am, how small I am down there, how poor my family is, how terrible a son I am, how I never said “I love you” to my dad for 5 years before he died, and how I have never had a gf. The last one seems to be the one of the worst for me.

I never thought I was bad looking until recently because now I’m 23 and still never had a gf. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried with some girls, but it just didn’t work out. It never reached beyond the “talking” stage. It makes me question what am I doing wrong and my personality. Am I not lovable? It seems that way. I pray to the Lord about this but it’s never clear. It feels as if He’s not listening. It really makes me feel alone. This, on top of all my other insecurities, makes me really hate myself. It really makes me wonder if it’s better if I was just dead.

I dwell on this so much that the question of suicide always comes up in my head, but I could never bring myself to do it. Something just always convinces me otherwise. I think this is the Holy Spirit. It makes believe that God is listening, but thoughts keep creeping in to my head at night. I’m constantly at war in my own mind, and it makes me lose faith in God. I have keep repeating Psalms and Proverbs just to make it through the day. I want His words to be true, I want to be free from this endless cycle of self-hatred, but my prayers just never seem to reach Him. I don’t mean to be selfish, but I would really appreciate prayers right now. I’m lost, broken, and I don’t know what to do anymore.

Keep running your race! Don't let thoughts get you down, they are deception!! There is nothing more important than serving the Lord during our time here on Earth. You are loved by God. Never give up!

I am an insecure person by nature. Do not give into the insecurities. Women look at the qualities of a man, much more than physical appearance. Any Godly woman would be more than happy with a man following the path of the Lord. Keep trusting with your life, He has a wonderful plan for you.

 

[Tempura]

Sounds a lot like younger me. Insecurity and mental/spiritual struggles can be hard. I was constantly ashamed, very shy, I stuttered, worried about girls and all the time tried to cope with it. Naturally I started to hate myself too, and it's a weird thing. It's as if I sided with "the others" in hating me, since I perceived myself to be something that is (or should be) hated. Hate just felt like the natural way to go, and there was safety in it.

Of course it didn't get me very far, since trying to find salvation from hate cannot get people far. I could pretend at times to be alright, and I did get lucky with a few things, but whenever I got something I thought I'd never get (girlfriend, job, whatever) there were new problems. So I had to face myself along with all my insecurities. I didn't know how, so "luckily" I had a couple of nervous breakdowns. I lost my job, every girlfriend I had, every ounce of respect I thought I had towards myself, and I coped with these things in all the wrong ways. I became an alcoholic and abused benzos and other drugs. A lot of dark times, thoughts of suicide, hospital trips, you name it. Until one time when I was sure that I had to kill myself, when I just couldn't take it, I broke down and prayed instead. It was a very weak prayer, one of a sinful and doubting man, I was spiritually naked and empty. I didn't feel much then, but I didn't kill myself. I thought it didn't help, but I was alive a few days later too, and if I felt I couldn't take it, I went somewhere: my mother's place, some friend, doctor, wherever. At some point my therapy started to feel less useless, as if I had hope of "becoming one" with myself. At some point I realized I didn't want to drink anymore, which was a thing I absolutely HAD to do before. At some point I noticed that even if I was having a miserable day, I wasn't absolutely defeated, and I started to shift my feelings of hate. Instead of only hating myself (and everyone else in the process), I started to hate what my fears and hopeless feelings were telling me. I started to think them as lies, because that's what they are. They invite you in, as if you'll get something out of it, when in reality they want to suck you dry without giving anything in return. So I started to hate whatever negative, useless thoughts and feelings I had. And I started to feel healthy pity towards myself. Not useless pity, but healthy instead. Then I started to empathize with other people too. I started to notice a lot of things they were going through, instead of only seeing everything through my own dark glasses. Day by day, year by year, I got a little better. I'm a lot better now. And I believe God helped a lot, that's easy to see now.

About your struggle with faith, think of it like this (at least I do, I've had those struggles a lot). It's not about us, it's about Christ, it's about unwavering and undeserved love. We don't have to do magic tricks, we don't have to somehow "believe better" (which is a weird thing to say anyway). It's about love we have to let in, instead of trying to earn something what is given. And when our faith isn't strong, then we choose to believe that God is stronger. Because my insecurities, my lack of faith, my sins - they are NOTHING in front of God. They are just useless dust, no matter how hard we stare at them. Remember the beatitudes - we are weak in spirit. Remember the prodigal son - he thought his father couldn't treat him as a son anymore, and there He was with His arms open. Remember the sinner whose prayer Christ liked. Remember Christ on the cross, who prayed for those who crucified Him. Put your hope in that love, no matter how weak you feel your faith is, and in time you will know how that love will break every barricade you build against it, one by one. And once you let yourself to be loved with all your failings and insecurities, the more you will know how to love others. You will produce the good fruit, and you will be free in a way you probably didn't even realize was possible. Love was always the answer.

When you get older, you'll start to notice the insecurities everyone has, not just you. Right now you're making them the biggest thing about your life (which they're not), and sometimes probably the only thing, as if you had nothing else. But you'll learn that everyone has them. You'll be able to communicate and probably help others who clearly suffer from the same things. You'll also learn how to live despite your insecurities, not according to them. You'll even accept them, and when that moment comes, you're no longer at war with yourself. The war is over and you won. Those feelings might come back every now and again, but you'll know to let them go instead of hanging on to them. They won't control you anymore, and you can step out of that insane prison you have built for yourself. By the way, don't think that I'm blaming you for something. I'm not. I made those same prison cells for myself, and many people do, without even knowing it.

I did get a lot of help too. So many doctors, so much therapy, all that stuff. Some of it didn't work, and I rebelled against everything often (because I didn't believe I could get any better), but some of it did work and I am grateful for all the help I got. So I will recommend at least therapy, it's just a way for one to understand him/herself. I wasn't ready for it for a long time, and I shunned many people who tried to help me, but things started to click right when I thought I'm done with everything. I believe God changed something in me, without me even knowing or believing in it. I just had to hang on and not fully give in to my dark thoughts. After I started to get better, I started to search God in a whole another way too. I'm still a sinner, I struggle with unbelief at times, but I have chosen hope, and I can look for something else beyond my own weak faith and mind - Christ and His grace, who is so much better than my doubts of fears.

Said a prayer for you, brother. You'll become whole eventually, and you'll be so much wiser and stronger for going through all of this now. No fear.

 

[DavidFirth]

I used to have problems worrying all the time. Here is what happened.

1. Tell your family, friends and church leaders and ask them to pray for you.
2. See a Christian psychiatrist or counselor or church leader.
3. Get on the right meds, if necessary.
4. Surround yourself with Christians and positive people whenever possible.
5. I went to church when nobody was there, knelt before the altar and poured out my heart and soul to God. I did this several times and I feel good about having done it now. Ask God to boost your faith and give you confidence and everything you need. The most important part: Believe!

 

[DavidFirth]

Satan uses our insecurities to cause doubt in us in his effort to shipwreck your faith. Don't let it happen!