Denominational Differences

[renaistre]

My turn at the "would you date a..." game. Actually, though, I've been wanting to ask this here for a long time. I just never got around to it.

I know the vast majority of the people here agree that Christians should only marry other Christians, and usually that extends to dating or courting, but I'm curious what y'all think about denominational or theological differences in a dating / courtship / romantic networking / marriage relationship. In other words, if you are a Baptist, would you date a Methodist? If you go to an Anglican church, would you court someone that goes to an Assembly of God church? Even if you don't go to church, or don't belong to a denomination (officially or unofficially), have you thought about this issue at all? Would things change if we're talking about marrage as opposed to just dating?

I just want to hear your thoughts about this, but I don't want it to turn into a theological debate, so please keep that in mind.

 

[Llauralin]

Probably not, but we'll see. It'd be pretty tough, and brings up a lot of tension about whose church we (I and my hypothetical husband) would go to, get married in, raise children in, ect, as well as introducing friction in life philosophy between myself and people from most other denominations. Also, I spend a great deal of time at church, and there are a lot of denominations that I simply can't stand visiting, so that'd be pretty weird.

 

[Willtor]

With many doctrinal differences, I'm happy to agree to disagree. Even practically, I generally have no qualms with most doctrines. I was raised Baptist (ultra-ultra low Church). But if I married a Catholic, I would have no problems attending a Catholic Church, going to confession, praying the Rosary, etc. I think the most difficult thing (in that context) would deal with infant baptism (esp. with respect to my child), but even then I'm willing to submit to authority.

A deal breaker would be a Church that speaks in tongues without translations, or thinks that a person who doesn't speak in tongues isn't permitting the Holy Spirit to act, or what have you. Ultra-Fundamentalist (to the point of off-the-wall theology) or Ultra-Liberal (to the point of Unitarianism) are pretty out of the question, too.

But all in all, I don't think I'd have much more of a problem with her denomination than I have with any other. Honestly, who here can say (s)he goes to a Church where (s)he agrees with everything being taught (aside from head pastors/priests)?

 

[Justin1]

Again, for me it truly depends on her church itself. As long as the Word of God is being preached, there's passionate worship, a congregation with a heart to serve, and a pastor who is truly a great man of God, I couldn't ask for more. Then again, my church is that too.

I think these issues should be sorted out before marriage, though.

 

[Justin1]

Honestly, who here can say (s)he goes to a Church where (s)he agrees with everything being taught (aside from head pastors/priests)?

It's not about agreeing with what's taught. It's about what the Word of God says. (Well, hopefully. )

 

[Llauralin]

Honestly, who here can say (s)he goes to a Church where (s)he agrees with everything being taught (aside from head pastors/priests)?

*Raises hand* Yup, pretty much.

 

[Macrina]

I've known people who regularly attended a different church from their spouse, and I have a hard time understanding how that works. I wouldn't choose to do that.

For me, it doesn't matter what denomination he's coming from (I'm a bit of a denominational mutt myself) but I can't see it working if he was completely unwilling to become a part of the church I serve.

 

[AceHero]

President Bush (an Episcopalian) married Laura Welch (a Methodist) and they seem to do all right...though the President did join the United Methodist Church when they got married. A little compromise there.

 

[Blank123]

thats the great thing about not belonging to a denomination - I don't have to worry about hypothetical situations like that. I would care more about whether or not the guy is Biblically sound than what denom he belongs to.

 

[Super Gnat]

It's hard to say... on the one hand, it would definitely depend on what the guy was like, but on the other hand, the kind of guy I would be dating would most likely go to a church more in line with my own theological beliefs. Like, I wouldn't date any of the Catholic guys I went to high school with, but they were all kind of apathetic about their faith, and if I met a Catholic guy who was on fire and interested... well, I just dunno.

 

[mwb]

I would hope my wife would convert to Catholicism especially if I'm stronger in my faith.

I've been to churches of other denominations & unfortunately I feel very awkward in a different environment.

 

[HypnoToad]

thats the great thing about not belonging to a denomination - I don't have to worry about hypothetical situations like that. I would care more about whether or not the guy is Biblically sound than what denom he belongs to.

Yeah, what she said.

(Well, except probably should replace "guy/he" with "gal/she". )

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I wouldn't date a Catholic because I'm not going to convert (don't agree with a lot of papal opinion that's been turned into commands). My last bf went to a non-denominational church and we visited eachother's early in the relationship. I would've been willing to join his. My current bf is also a member of another Presbyterian church so I don't think this is going to be an issue.

Sorry mwb-nothing personal. I've seen how this inter-denominational thing caused extra problems with a marriage.

 

[Sketcher]

I'm non-denominational, I wouldn't mind dating or marrying someone who is in a denomination that I don't have any real problems with.

 

[Willtor]

It's not about agreeing with what's taught. It's about what the Word of God says. (Well, hopefully. )

Well, of course. But I haven't found that I can reconcile any denomination's doctrines with what he says, entirely. Naturally, we're concerned about the Word of God. The question is not whether a Church has it all together, doctrinally, but whether the Word is there, and whether he is preached.

 

[mwb]

I wouldn't date a Catholic because I'm not going to convert (don't agree with a lot of papal opinion that's been turned into commands). My last bf went to a non-denominational church and we visited eachother's early in the relationship. I would've been willing to join his. My current bf is also a member of another Presbyterian church so I don't think this is going to be an issue.

Sorry mwb-nothing personal. I've seen how this inter-denominational thing caused extra problems with a marriage.

I'm sure it can be a big issue. I hope I'm not in a situation where I have to choose.

 

[foadle]

I think care in these cases needs to be taken. It is all to do with being unequally yoked. The teachings between some denominations are vastly different and others are quite similar. Actaully you need to zoom in further than you have because this can also be true of churches of the same denomination but in different locatins.

 

[sherri]

I agree. Being equally yoked means marrying someone at roughly the same place in God as you and having the same ideals and understanding of him.

My relationship with God is the most important thing to me and I wouldn't mess with it by marrying someone who had a totally different view of him.

 

[renaistre]

... Actaully you need to zoom in further than you have because this can also be true of churches of the same denomination but in different locatins.

That's a good point. It's also why I usually prefer to think of it in terms of doctrine rather than denomination.

Good replies so far every one. Thanks!

 

[Argent]

A woman should join her husband's church when they get married.


*puts on flame-retardant suit and waits for estrogen-fueled onslaught*