Hi folks.
I haven't posted in a while, but some of the older ppl might remember me. I was demon-possessed up to the first of February this year. Today, after exactly 8 months, I right where I started. I was exorcised again yesterday and it was worse than the last time. I had four major demons, one of the "ninth line" or something. I'm really scared because I though I was a Christian. My life had been drifting back to my old intense sinful nature lately, but I think it was only because I wasn't rid of the stuff the first time.
What scared me most was that I don't believe what happened yesterday. I had only two visions while it happened:
1. A dark, red, morbid valley with heaps of sculls. It was painful and tormenting and evil - EVIL beyond my imagination. "I" told the pastor that his scull will lie on a heap.
2. I great pool of blood. I told the people present that they shall bath in it when their time comes.
Why has God forsaken me so? I know this isn't mere coincidence that it happens exactly eight months later. BTW, I don't care about anyone who reads this who don't believe in demonology because I know there's something out there.
I really though I'd grown, spiritually, but it seems it was still there. There were four demons, but I think there's more. They just lie and lie to the pastor the whole time and they don't listen - sometimes even when Jesus's name was used. I can't help getting the feeling that they were stronger than the angels...
You guys, I even blasphemed and called "myself" God and told them to worship me. I laughed and screamed and took pleasure in trying to scare them. I was exhilirating, but still I hate it!! Why am I being so manipulated in my mind to think that the darkness is so interesting?
The names were kenakia, kamarishka, senena and... and lucifer (I hope he only called himself that). I used to think, before I converted years ago that I might be the antichrist. Did Judas have a choice of being the one who betrayed Jesus? I don't want to be the antichrist, but a voice in my head told me and later he told the others that "he had chosen me" and that I "was his child". I don't want to be a demon! God is stronger and I know it, but why can't He just snap his fingers and make them at least obey the pastor? They are so haughty and taunting and evil! I'm going again tomorrow to check if everything is out, but I don't think so, I keep getting these urges to curse God, curse others, blaspheme, shout and laugh and scare people... it's not me, but my mind is shrouded. I didn't feel any relief when it came out, although it seemed to.
Am I evil? Did I give it the power to hide in my body? I know if a person doesn't want to be exorcised, they can keep the demons from coming out. May I have subconsciously protected them in order to keep myself entertained in some sick way? I feel terrible and like I'm going to hell.
Help please anyone with demonology experience...
God bless
I haven't posted in a while, but some of the older ppl might remember me. I was demon-possessed up to the first of February this year. Today, after exactly 8 months, I right where I started. I was exorcised again yesterday and it was worse than the last time. I had four major demons, one of the "ninth line" or something. I'm really scared because I though I was a Christian. My life had been drifting back to my old intense sinful nature lately, but I think it was only because I wasn't rid of the stuff the first time.
What scared me most was that I don't believe what happened yesterday. I had only two visions while it happened:
1. A dark, red, morbid valley with heaps of sculls. It was painful and tormenting and evil - EVIL beyond my imagination. "I" told the pastor that his scull will lie on a heap.
2. I great pool of blood. I told the people present that they shall bath in it when their time comes.
Why has God forsaken me so? I know this isn't mere coincidence that it happens exactly eight months later. BTW, I don't care about anyone who reads this who don't believe in demonology because I know there's something out there.
I really though I'd grown, spiritually, but it seems it was still there. There were four demons, but I think there's more. They just lie and lie to the pastor the whole time and they don't listen - sometimes even when Jesus's name was used. I can't help getting the feeling that they were stronger than the angels...
You guys, I even blasphemed and called "myself" God and told them to worship me. I laughed and screamed and took pleasure in trying to scare them. I was exhilirating, but still I hate it!! Why am I being so manipulated in my mind to think that the darkness is so interesting?
The names were kenakia, kamarishka, senena and... and lucifer (I hope he only called himself that). I used to think, before I converted years ago that I might be the antichrist. Did Judas have a choice of being the one who betrayed Jesus? I don't want to be the antichrist, but a voice in my head told me and later he told the others that "he had chosen me" and that I "was his child". I don't want to be a demon! God is stronger and I know it, but why can't He just snap his fingers and make them at least obey the pastor? They are so haughty and taunting and evil! I'm going again tomorrow to check if everything is out, but I don't think so, I keep getting these urges to curse God, curse others, blaspheme, shout and laugh and scare people... it's not me, but my mind is shrouded. I didn't feel any relief when it came out, although it seemed to.
Am I evil? Did I give it the power to hide in my body? I know if a person doesn't want to be exorcised, they can keep the demons from coming out. May I have subconsciously protected them in order to keep myself entertained in some sick way? I feel terrible and like I'm going to hell.
Help please anyone with demonology experience...
God bless
Joining in prayer for you, palmtree. I will write, and be with you soon. Have peace, and have patience. 
I don't really know what to say, but I do believe in demonic possesssion. Since you are a christian Jesus said that you have the authority to cast out demons (Lk. 10:19;Mk. 16:17). Remember, greater is He that is in you, that he that is in the world-the devil (I Jn.4:4). Those demons inside of you must be cast out by the power of God. You cannot cast them out unless you have completely renounce your old way of life. Whatever doorway you have allowed them to come in it must be close... you have to deal with your sins. I had experience with the occult before but I was not demonically possessed. I have doors that I allowed the demons to come in but I have dealt with it. You have to know the grounds you have allowed the devil to come in then renounce it and repent before God and asked Him to cleanse you. After this, command those demons to come out. It's good if there is a true man of God out there that belives on this thing that could help you with this. But if there is none you have every authority to cast these demons out of your life. 
There will be a great spiritual fight involve in this spiritual battle of yours...you have to be determined in this fight. Well, I don't want to say anymore because I'm not an expert on this thing. Remember, God is your Father. Pour out your heart to Him. He will come to your aid if you cry out to Him. Don't give up. "...call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor Me" Psalm 50:15. I hope you will be able to find christians that would be able to understand your situation and help you in any manner. As Vinc said, check out those web sites you might gain some helpful information. Well, I'll be praying for you. We are a body. You are not alone in this fight. We are here for you.
