Delusions

[saved95]

i was diagnosed with Bipolar early this year and have been on so many different meds and not one of them has worked. the lithium i am currently taking is not working on any of the symptoms either.

the thing that scares me the most are the delusions i have. i dont know how to handle them. i am in so much torment over them that i spent the afternoon crying i am so distressed.

has anyone had to deal with delusions? these delusions torment me more than anything, and i worry that i have a full blown attack or something. i worry also because medication doesnt even touch the delusions and i dont know what to do. i dont know how to deal with them. they frighten me so much.

 

[Soulwings]

Oof. Sounds like you are under a lot of stress because of these delusions. Are you on any antipsychotics? have you told your pdoc about them? are you in therapy? Lithium is a mood stabilizer, so it's not going to do anything with delusions. Some APs that are out there are Seroquel (just going on that one, AP and MS), Geodon, Risperdal, and I think that Abilify is another one (also used to treat bipolar). Definitely talk with your pdoc about your meds not working, though.

What kind of delusions are they, if you don't mind me asking? (if you don't want to say, that's fine... I understand how scary they can be) I have heard voices and music that weren't there and that I'd never heard before, so I have been psychotic... but I am on APs and they help quite a lot. So thankful I'm on them and all my other meds, otherwise I would be a royal mess.

Please try to take care of yourself. You deserve it. Talk with your therapist or pdoc about the delusions... I am sure that they can help more than we can!! But we will offer support/encouragement throughout your journey, to the best of our ability.

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

I take haldol to correct my thought disorder. You know what, with delusions, I think you need psychotherapy, and don't be surprised if you can't shake your delusions for life. It can get to the point through therapy where you learn how to manage the delusions, and by the way knowing your delusions are simply a product of your malfunctioning brain, and have no barring in reality, it is very helpful to know that.

Keep working with your psychiatrist, and hopefully he can find you a psychotherapist, hang in there, and with therapy, it'll get better, and you may very well have to deal with these delusins, on and off for years to come, but therapy makes it easier to deal with.

 

[bomichaels]

I'm sorry you have to cope with the delusions. Being Bipolar I do understand how strong the inner voices can be and how withdrawn I can get. I have a friend who is Schizoprenic and hears voices a lot. What helps him is his art and excercise. I have found really intense cardio for 30 minutes can temporarily relieve symptoms. Also, I often use my wife as a truth barometer to see if what I'm thinking is true or a product of my messed up imagination. I can say a quick prayer for you...

Lord,

I pray these delusions would subside. May your power relieve them and
may your peace be present. May your truth prevail over the emotions
that feel so controlling at times. In Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[saved95]

Soul wings thanks for your reply, i sent you a pm

 

[saved95]

DoubtingThomas29
thanks for your thoughts. i have taken haldol in the past, it gave me the look ups, a rather nasty side effect that i really hate.
when you say i need psychotherapy isnt that just basically talk therapy? i did that for a long time and i found personally that it didnt help me. but i have read that other therapies like cognitive behavioural therapy can be very helpful for symptoms like delusions. i did cognitive behavioural therapy for OCD which i also have and it really helped. with me unfortunately there is no easy answer as for the past 16 years medication has not worked for me or really helped me in any way. thanks for the encouragement. it helps

 

[saved95]

bomichaels
thanks for your reply too, i really appreciate it.
its nice that your friend who has Schizophrenia is really helped by art and exercise. it is good if a person can find something to help them. i am not sure i have found anything like that yet. i guess because no matter what i do at the moment i am so tormented by these horrible delusions. someone posed an interesting question to me today and it was almost a challenge. they said to me that if i could change how i react to the delusion perhaps i wouldnt be so distressed. at first i was rather annoyed but realise that they were trying to help and suggested something that wasnt out of the realms of possibility. i guess i just havent figured out how to do it yet though, how to not let the delusions get to me.
thank you for your prayer. i truly appreciate it.

 

[Alive again]

saying a prayer for you. I know several who have delusions of disturbing things and do just that tell themselves that it is not true, it can be a challenge but is helpful or them, having someone to be a truth barometer for you does indeed help.

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

The look ups huh? Is that when your neck cranes back and you look up? I was wondering if it was doing that to me, or if it was just a fluke that my neck was so stiff? So how long were you on haldol before it did that you?

 

[saved95]

DoubtingThomas29
with the haldol, along with some other medications, it would make my neck snap back in such a way that i was only looking up towards the ceiling, and i stayed that way for the whole day. my eyes would go funny and they would just go everywhere and it was quite terrifying.

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Wow that Haldol doesn't do that to me, I am lucky. If it is okay to talk about what are your delusions? Are they really fixed false beliefes that resistant to change? I had paranoid delusions I thought all these people were out to get me, and trying to put me in jail. It took medication and about five years of psychotherapy to get over those paranoid delusions.

One of the six steps from schizophrenics annoynomus deals with delusions, it says that "I now realize the erroneous false beliefes contribute to my failures fears and unhappiness I am now ready to change my thinking, so that I can be transformed."

 

[saved95]

DoubtingThomas29
no i dont mind at all telling you about my delusions, i just hope it is okay to mention them on here, publicly as i wouldnt want to trigger symptoms in someone else.
i have been having delusions for the last week and a half. not all the time, sometimes.
my main delusions since they first started are about thinking that people on the tv are looking at me, or talking to me, and when they talk that they are talking to me and that what they are saying is specifically for me.
i also have problems with words, when i see letters on the pc screen or tv or wherever i sometimes get weird. my eyes scan the whole page and its like certain letters jump out and i start to get this thought that it is all a special code and that is means something special.
i also get thoughts of being divine, and thinking i can do absolutely anything and nothing can stop me. ii once got a frightening delusion about aliens, thinking and believing that they were outside and wanting to get in to my house and hurt me. i have other thoughts but these are the worst.
you asked if my delusions were really fixed false beliefs resistant to change? well they have certainly been resistant to medication lol. meds dont shift the delusions, the delusions or whatever on earth they are, always stay to some degree. they are never entirely gone. when i get the these delusions many times i will be very drawn into them and believe them and believe what is before me, (it certainly seems that way) and other times it is like i seem to have more control and have more of an awareness of what is going on and can try to shift my thought to something else if only for a while. i was told that the fact that i could do this was a good thing. now having said, do i think these thoughts/delusions are really fixed? you know what, like i said when i am drawn into the delusion at times i believe it there and then it feels like, and it doesnt seem that i am able to stop what is going on, or snap out of it straight away, but later on, my head is clearer and i can see and realise that that thought was wrong, or abnormal, but the thing with me is, which i am assuming is normal with anyone who has a delusion? is that when i have the delusion, i get very confused, and dont seem to 100% know what is real and what isn't and my mind feels clouded for lack of a better phrase.
so really i am not sure, when i told my doctor he had no hesitation in calling these experiences i have delusions. he told me straight away that these thoughts were delusional in nature. what is also interesting is that i also suffer from severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and i have noticed that there is a similiarity in thoughts sometimes and these thoughts (like right now) tend to get all mixed up together. i mention this as at first i thought (and was told repeatedly) that all these thoughts were, were OCD. so i hope that answers your questions.

 

[Jeshu]

DoubtingThomas29
no i dont mind at all telling you about my delusions, i just hope it is okay to mention them on here, publicly as i wouldnt want to trigger symptoms in someone else.
i have been having delusions for the last week and a half. not all the time, sometimes.
my main delusions since they first started are about thinking that people on the tv are looking at me, or talking to me, and when they talk that they are talking to me and that what they are saying is specifically for me.
i also have problems with words, when i see letters on the pc screen or tv or wherever i sometimes get weird. my eyes scan the whole page and its like certain letters jump out and i start to get this thought that it is all a special code and that is means something special.
i also get thoughts of being divine, and thinking i can do absolutely anything and nothing can stop me. ii once got a frightening delusion about aliens, thinking and believing that they were outside and wanting to get in to my house and hurt me. i have other thoughts but these are the worst.
you asked if my delusions were really fixed false beliefs resistant to change? well they have certainly been resistant to medication lol. meds dont shift the delusions, the delusions or whatever on earth they are, always stay to some degree. they are never entirely gone. when i get the these delusions many times i will be very drawn into them and believe them and believe what is before me, (it certainly seems that way) and other times it is like i seem to have more control and have more of an awareness of what is going on and can try to shift my thought to something else if only for a while. i was told that the fact that i could do this was a good thing. now having said, do i think these thoughts/delusions are really fixed? you know what, like i said when i am drawn into the delusion at times i believe it there and then it feels like, and it doesnt seem that i am able to stop what is going on, or snap out of it straight away, but later on, my head is clearer and i can see and realise that that thought was wrong, or abnormal, but the thing with me is, which i am assuming is normal with anyone who has a delusion? is that when i have the delusion, i get very confused, and dont seem to 100% know what is real and what isn't and my mind feels clouded for lack of a better phrase.
so really i am not sure, when i told my doctor he had no hesitation in calling these experiences i have delusions. he told me straight away that these thoughts were delusional in nature. what is also interesting is that i also suffer from severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and i have noticed that there is a similiarity in thoughts sometimes and these thoughts (like right now) tend to get all mixed up together. i mention this as at first i thought (and was told repeatedly) that all these thoughts were, were OCD. so i hope that answers your questions.

Dear Friend,

I found that delusions are truthsd out of perspective.

Firstly it is REALLY true that you are experiencing it the way you do!!!

Secondly know the truth doesn't lie and makes us sick, the lie does, sick minds hear lies. So the truth must be believed whole heartedly to overcome this barrier. Then the lies become exposed, the delusions still come but turn into truth that feeds you within - good stuff. Have Faith in Jesus - hear Him inside LOVING TRUTH is the Spirit to listen to - no matter what else you might hear, especially about being divine!! Don't you know you are a child of God almighty? Of course you are divine that's the trouble, who wants to listen forever to lies and truths that bring pain and chaos? Truth that loves, restores and encourages that's what we need on The Way building us anew - even the mess that we often are in illness. Loving Truth to guide us out of our REAL LIFE mess.

He truly works let me tell you!!


Psalm 21


Gerry

 

[isaaczakaria]

I'll pray for you friend. hopefully you'll feel better soon