Define 'church' ?

[mommahen]

Fair enough question, MLQURGW. I would argue that the Preacher is truely preaching the Word. He is young and on fire for the Lord and knows there is a problem in many areas of the church body and addresses them openly. He and his preaching are recieved politely.

I had said that there is a "need for Fellowship", not a command for it. Though I do believe we are commanded to fellowship also. How can we sharpen eachother if we do not know eachother? How can we know eachother if we donot spend time in eachothers lives? The majority of the people do not fellowship together outside the building. Exactly. I do not desire to get into specifics and turn this into a gossip thing, I am just asking what others have done or would do in a similar situation.

I am a 44 yo mother of eight who has been reduced to asking complete strangers for advice as we are so starved for companionship here. Don't make me grovel.

 

[McWilliams]

Fair enough question, MLQURGW. I would argue that the Preacher is truely preaching the Word. He is young and on fire for the Lord and knows there is a problem in many areas of the church body and addresses them openly. He and his preaching are recieved politely.

I had said that there is a "need for Fellowship", not a command for it. Though I do believe we are commanded to fellowship also. How can we sharpen eachother if we do not know eachother? How can we know eachother if we donot spend time in eachothers lives? The majority of the people do not fellowship together outside the building. Exactly. I do not desire to get into specifics and turn this into a gossip thing, I am just asking what others have done or would do in a similar situation.

I am a 44 yo mother of eight who has been reduced to asking complete strangers for advice as we are so starved for companionship here. Don't make me grovel.

I can certainly relate to your need for fellowship mommahen and can well remember feeling quite isolated from the body during the time I was raising my six! At that time I was regularly in church, but now know I was at the time a confused arminian with great need of hearing the pure word of God! The repercussions of this deprivation of the word of God have been of great consequence in the lives of my children.
Oh now, if I had this to do over how I would love to be a member of the church where I am today! I see very large families there who appear to have quality fellowship, homeschool their children, seem to enjoy sharing and learning from one another! This is as it should be! Sadly, I came to the doctrines of grace too late and most of my children are arminian and strongly object to my church!
Fellowship in any church is vital and is actually an ourcropping and fruit of regularly hearing sound doctrine and strong biblical preaching of God's word! Seems in many church I"ve been a part of in past years that once the sermon ended all was forgotten!
It is such a joy to observe all the big families mingling and exchanging words of encouragement! This is as God intended, that we sharpen and nuture one another!

 

[mlqurgw]

Fair enough question, MLQURGW. I would argue that the Preacher is truely preaching the Word. He is young and on fire for the Lord and knows there is a problem in many areas of the church body and addresses them openly. He and his preaching are recieved politely.

I had said that there is a "need for Fellowship", not a command for it. Though I do believe we are commanded to fellowship also. How can we sharpen eachother if we do not know eachother? How can we know eachother if we donot spend time in eachothers lives? The majority of the people do not fellowship together outside the building. Exactly. I do not desire to get into specifics and turn this into a gossip thing, I am just asking what others have done or would do in a similar situation.

I am a 44 yo mother of eight who has been reduced to asking complete strangers for advice as we are so starved for companionship here. Don't make me grovel.

As far as the preacher goes I would say be patient and pray for him. A faithful pastor needs the prayers of his people. As far as fellowship goes perhaps that is why the Lord has put you where He has, to get things going. I would suggest that you maybe have an open house or something along those lines where you invite folks over to get to know you and your family. You could make it a potluck so that you aren't terribly burdened by fixing a meal. You could have a dessert thing after church one Sunday. Get the ball rolling and see where God takes it.

 

[anewinhim]

No it wasnt your post that was upsetting. I guess it is just that I feel bad because I have tried to find a religion for quite some time. I thought I was doing good to just find John McArthur and RC Sproul considering all of the bad teachers I have found.

Now I have to get in a local Church which I have alot of fears and reservations about joining one at all. I dont know what half the denominations stand for, or teach, and even the ones like baptists, there is no guarentee that they are reformed.

Also I am not the most social person, I would much rather have quite study time alone, then be in a big group of people. The only reason I even would want to go is because thats what the bible says to do. I dont think I would want to do all of the pot luck suppers and bake sales. I just want to learn about God and then go home. I dont want to sound mean by saying that, I just have not had good luck with people and I tend to stay to myself.

To go to the one reformed church is an hour drive for me and thats IF they are any good. I live in a very rual area, outside of my yard is the woods on 3 sides. There isnt much to choose from in the way of churches. Matter of fact, I found this out yesterday, to take one of Kay Arthurs bible studies, I would have to drive at least an hour to get to the closest one. Most were much farther.

Also, I have been moving since 1988 and I am kind of tired of moving. I had hoped that since we finally got our first permant residence that we could stay here a while. We were military and we have lived all over the place, he even lived in Iraq and Kuwait a couple years ago, which wasnt fun for him or me.

Its just all very frustrating for me. You cant know what they are like until you go, and what if their teaching is wrong?

 

[edie19]

I keep forgetting to post this link. Anyhow, granted there are a variety of Reformed churches - many Presbyterian, many not.

Founders.org has a link to help people locate churches (Reformed and Southern Baptist that hold to the doctrines of grace) all across the country. We have a couple members at my church who found us this way. Anyhow:

http://www.founders.org/misc/chlist.html

 

[Nadiine]

Also I am not the most social person, I would much rather have quite study time alone, then be in a big group of people. The only reason I even would want to go is because thats what the bible says to do. I dont think I would want to do all of the pot luck suppers and bake sales. I just want to learn about God and then go home. I dont want to sound mean by saying that, I just have not had good luck with people and I tend to stay to myself.

Also, I have been moving since 1988 and I am kind of tired of moving. I had hoped that since we finally got our first permant residence that we could stay here a while. We were military and we have lived all over the place, he even lived in Iraq and Kuwait a couple years ago, which wasnt fun for him or me.

Its just all very frustrating for me. You cant know what they are like until you go, and what if their teaching is wrong?

I share some of your same issues, I'm extremely introverted (even tho I'm open with people once I'm WITH them.).

I get so nervous meeting new people... I never know what to say,... i just go to church, worship my Lord, then head home.
To compound that introversion issue, we've moved many times (financial reasons mostly) and i keep having to 'meet' & find new friends! It's about tramatic for me.
(No, I'm not one of those hermits that can't set foot outside their home ).

Just meeting people for me is very scary and I"m perfectly comfortable not having to hang out with lots of people all the time (the computer kinda helps with that).
But I DO go to church & enjoy the unity w/ other believers even without knowing them on a private level. =)

I only hope that people who seem to NEED to be active with friends and functions, understand that introverts don't find it as easy or "FUN" to pick up new friends and they are very happy & comfortable in solace.
(solace is not loneliness).

 

[McWilliams]

We all face our different challenges in our walk to gain knowledge and closeness to our Lord!

I can certainly appreciate the problem of being a great distance from church. Many of our members drive a long way, going past many churches to be able to have the food provided at our church. Such a sacrifice for some of the really large families but once you've found a place that offers real food for the sheep you're not satisfied to be any place else and are willing to go the distance to have that food for yourself and family!
My prayer is that our Lord will provide such a church for each of you, that you may partake of sheep food as often as possible!
We all participate on the level of comfort and challenge as both necessary to growth and needs! Just being present and helpful at times with nursery care is also a service to Him and the church! It also allows one to meet parents one on one without a lot of social involvement.
God does provide for hearts eager to sacrificially serve Him, though it can certainly be difficult at times! Just the joy of providing a meal to a family in need when done in His name is an act of loving kindness to Him! These things can be done even by those who prefer their own privacy and yet are a slow and subtle way to increase awareness of needs by other believers! Most of this awarenss of needs comes from being part of a bible study class before church. Please take time to enjoy this link!
http://www.foundersbaptist.org/Sermons_List.asp

 

[mlqurgw]

No it wasnt your post that was upsetting. I guess it is just that I feel bad because I have tried to find a religion for quite some time. I thought I was doing good to just find John McArthur and RC Sproul considering all of the bad teachers I have found.

Now I have to get in a local Church which I have alot of fears and reservations about joining one at all. I dont know what half the denominations stand for, or teach, and even the ones like baptists, there is no guarentee that they are reformed.

Also I am not the most social person, I would much rather have quite study time alone, then be in a big group of people. The only reason I even would want to go is because thats what the bible says to do. I dont think I would want to do all of the pot luck suppers and bake sales. I just want to learn about God and then go home. I dont want to sound mean by saying that, I just have not had good luck with people and I tend to stay to myself.

To go to the one reformed church is an hour drive for me and thats IF they are any good. I live in a very rual area, outside of my yard is the woods on 3 sides. There isnt much to choose from in the way of churches. Matter of fact, I found this out yesterday, to take one of Kay Arthurs bible studies, I would have to drive at least an hour to get to the closest one. Most were much farther.

Also, I have been moving since 1988 and I am kind of tired of moving. I had hoped that since we finally got our first permant residence that we could stay here a while. We were military and we have lived all over the place, he even lived in Iraq and Kuwait a couple years ago, which wasnt fun for him or me.

Its just all very frustrating for me. You cant know what they are like until you go, and what if their teaching is wrong?

Perhaps you could just call those churches you are considering and ask them what they believe concerning the Doctrines of Grace. You don't have to give them your name. If they are willing to give you a straight answer great but if they wiggle and will not tell you plainly what they believe they aren't worth your time. If you find one that seems to be what you are looking for then visit. In the mean time there is a website that has some sound preaching. It is freegraceradio.com. I will give you the link in another post as I would have to close this one to get it.

 

[mlqurgw]

Here is the link:
http://freegraceradio.com/

 

[jamyers]

I think you also need to ask yourself why you're going to church, and understand that churches can be divided into two categories, Teaching and Worship.

What is the focus of a particular church; Teaching or Worship? While teaching is good, Biblically the Church (the people of God) should be focused on God, aka Worship. I'm leery of churches where there's not much worship going on in their 'worship' services. God is the one who meets our needs, not church (not that He doesn't work through His Church).

Why are you going to church, what are you looking for in a church? Are you going so that you can get something from God, or are you going so that you can give something to God? If your main reason for going so that you can get something (learn, be fed, etc), I think that you've got your priorities out of whack, just like the above churches.

 

[bradfordl]

We travel 40 miles to Church, passing by one wacked out PCA along the way to go to another, more solid one. But what we've found is that there are lots of other families from our area doing the same thing, so we can fellowship with them locally. You might find the same thing, which could lead eventually to a Church plant in your area.

As for being introverted, I have been that in the extreme in the past, but a Pastor and dear brother once told me that introvertedness is a byproduct of pride. That we are so enamored of appearing smart and winsome, that when we are not sure we will we hide. I thought hard about that, and came to believe it was true for me at least. So I decided not to worry about being the suave and debonair guy I wanted to think of myself as, and just be me, warts and all, and relax and give people a chance. Makes things alot more enjoyable.

 

[Nadiine]

We travel 40 miles to Church, passing by one wacked out PCA along the way to go to another, more solid one. But what we've found is that there are lots of other families from our area doing the same thing, so we can fellowship with them locally. You might find the same thing, which could lead eventually to a Church plant in your area.

As for being introverted, I have been that in the extreme in the past, but a Pastor and dear brother once told me that introvertedness is a byproduct of pride. That we are so enamored of appearing smart and winsome, that when we are not sure we will we hide. I thought hard about that, and came to believe it was true for me at least. So I decided not to worry about being the suave and debonair guy I wanted to think of myself as, and just be me, warts and all, and relax and give people a chance. Makes things alot more enjoyable.

I'm not the type to be defensive and negative when people tell me things that can be true or helpful - I can't say that it IS pride.
I truly do not enjoy being out and about, overly busy and "needing" alot of companionship.
I personally find that when I have been out with others for a few hours, or spend the weekend with a girlfriend of mine out of town, that I want to be back at home.
I enjoy my time there with all my pets and my photography & graphics hobbies/work.

So,... I do not entirely accept the root is pride where being introverted is concerned because I find that is more of a personality type. I'm not the outgoing type. Period.

Now the part about being nervous about meeting other people, having conversation, etc. maybe it is a form of pride, maybe it's not. Is it pride when people get nervous about speaking engagements where they have to be in front of other people?
I don't know.

But I do love our church and going there.

 

[Nadiine]

Why are you going to church, what are you looking for in a church? Are you going so that you can get something from God, or are you going so that you can give something to God? If your main reason for going so that you can get something (learn, be fed, etc), I think that you've got your priorities out of whack, just like the above churches.

I'm not sure who your post is addressing here? But this is one of the things I've said in other threads about why we should be going to church; our focus shouldn't be on what we're GETTING from it, but what we're GIVING to the Lord by way of worship to Him.


I'm sure that balance is probably key here too; where we should have some fellowship so that we build close bonds with others who share the same Faith.

 

[jamyers]

I'm not sure who your post is addressing here?
...
I'm sure that balance is probably key here too...

I wasn't addressing anybody in particular, just posted that as a general reminder. (For sure not trying to slam anybody!)

I'm also in favor of balance, which I think is best maintained by keeping a "big picture" outlook on things.

 

[McWilliams]

Making contributions are important, in worship, giving and such, along with fellowship! However, this is feeding time and such a great time for the sheep to be fed a sound, scriptural diet directly by their shepherd to his flock from God's word! We are both to give and to receive.

 

[Nadiine]

Making contributions are important, in worship, giving and such, along with fellowship! However, this is feeding time and such a great time for the sheep to be fed a sound, scriptural diet directly by their shepherd to his flock from God's word! We are both to give and to receive.

I totally agree with you - we shouldn't be out of balance in either side (now, how can we do that! lol)


& thanks for your reply Jamyers