Defending baby's due date?

[Jemma]

Having found out DH and I are pregnant yesterday, I told some friends. We figured out the due date, which is mid-December.

I've had a few of them make negative comments about the baby being born so close to Christmas, and how it'll always be fighting with other celebrations. I personally don't agree with what they're saying, because our baby will be just as loved and will have just as much fuss and celebration made over their own special day.

I'm just a little upset and down because I feel like these friends should be happy for us, just like DH and I are over the moon, but instead some friends inadvertently seem to be raining on our parade.

Not sure what my question is here. Maybe I'm wondering if others have gone through having to defend their baby's due date too - whether it's Christmas, Easter or some other major event. What did/do you say or do in these times?

 

[KillerV]

People can be such downers can't they? I haven't had to defend my due date(which is actually DH's & I anniv.hehe) but I have had to defend myself on a few ppl who thinks it SO crazy that I am having my kids so close together(they will be almost 2 years apart) I just try and laugh it off. Having a Christmas baby would be the best present ever!!

 

[Jemma]

People can be such downers can't they? I haven't had to defend my due date(which is actually DH's & I anniv.hehe) but I have had to defend myself on a few ppl who thinks it SO crazy that I am having my kids so close together(they will be almost 2 years apart) I just try and laugh it off. Having a Christmas baby would be the best present ever!!

Thankyou That's also what another friend said - what an awesome Christmas present from God!

DD and this baby will have nearly three years apart. If circumstances had've been a little different a year ago, we would've tried TTC then. We would have only had two years between the kids too. But, no, nearly three years this time.

So when's your due date?

 

[RoseofLima]

Aw I am sorry- that must be so disappointing

I would either just say that baby is due "in the winter"- without disclosing the actual date...or just respond "Well we are thrilled!! WE think God's timing is PERFECT!" when others ho hum your due date.

One of my daughters was born on Dec 19-- it's so much fun!! We don't buy much for our kids for their birthdays anyway- we focus on doing something together. I don't understand where the notion comes from that the lack of presents somehow makes a birthday unspecial??

 

[katelyn]

My first baby was born the day before Easter, and my second baby was born Dec. 19th. The first time around it was stressful because everyone wanted and completely expected the baby to get here in time for Easter (her due date was 10 days before Easter). We have family that doesn't live the closest, so when they made plans to be here for Easter, they felt the baby *needed* to be here so they could see her.

So I went in to be induced on Good Friday just to make everyone happy...and that evening everyone was sitting around my room staring at the silly monitor because despite the fact that I had been at the hospital all day, labor had not started, and my midwife was talking about sending me home. It was not exactly a fun moment.

The second time around I got a few comments here and there, but I just learned to not let it bother me. I told people that I didn't know if the baby would be here for Christmas so they shouldn't make plans to come if they were going to be upset that the baby wasn't here yet...if they wanted to be sure that the baby would be here when they came to visit, then they should plan on New Year's. (My due date was Dec. 14 and I knew my midwives would want to induce me once I was two weeks late.)

Also, I think birthdays are what you make of them. Yes, the holiday season is busy, but that doesn't mean you will ignore your child's birthday just because it's close to Christmas.

 

[BeanMak]

Not too much the could say in my family- both babies were due near christmas cuz my sister is Dec 22 and my mom is Jan 1 and my grandma was Dec 24th just following family tradition!!
I just made it clear i didn't want baby stuff for my christmas present heeheee

 

[olafias]

I'm sorry people are being so mean about it! First of all, there is nothing you can do to change your due date now, so it is dumb that they even say anything!

My husband's birthday is on Christmas, so is my Mom's. Our nephew's birthday is the day after Christmas, so we get creative and manage to celebrate two Christmases, and three birthdays within a four day period. We are always super tired after, but you know, it is the only time we really pull together as a family and spend a lot of time together, so for us, it is a blessing! My birthday is on Halloween, so we were really hoping to have a baby close to 4th of July (since then all our b-days, including the dog, would be on a holiday) but no such luck!

I hope your friends back off and just be happy for you! We are!

 

[RedTulipMom]

Thats a shame people have to make negative comments surrounding something that is such a happy time!

Everyone around here seems to have birthdays the same time. My hubbys birthday is June 2, my son Luke's birthday is June 8. I am currently due with this baby on June 3. LOL. So my hubby "kiddingly" jokes around about how everyone will comepletely forget his birthday now and he has no chance....lol.

 

[KillerV]

Thankyou That's also what another friend said - what an awesome Christmas present from God!

DD and this baby will have nearly three years apart. If circumstances had've been a little different a year ago, we would've tried TTC then. We would have only had two years between the kids too. But, no, nearly three years this time.

So when's your due date?

Its June 4th!

 

[Beth1231]

Jemma , I'm so sorry some people have been insensitive to your WONDERFUL news! I think Rose's advice is great...come up with a cheery, upbeat reply like "well, we think it's incredible and the best Christmas present ever!" and then they will realize they have been slightly rude and hopefully backtrack into happier comments.

Our baby is due exactly one week after my birthday and 13 days before my husbands. It's going to be interesting in June around here for the rest of my life. But who cares, right? A BABY is coming!

 

[Jemma]

Hi everyone!

Wow, I wasn't expecting so many of you to have babies or birthdays around big holidays. Thankyou all SO much for your support and happiness for me/us.

I mentioned to those couple of friends that I was upset at their comments when they should be over the moon, and they apologised and explained their thinking behind it. That was nice but, still, they could've been a little more tactful in the first place.

Anyway, like one of you said, a BABY's coming, and there's no need to upset anymore.

I would either just say that baby is due "in the winter"- without disclosing the actual date...or just respond "Well we are thrilled!! WE think God's timing is PERFECT!" when others ho hum your due date.

I like that response a lot, about giving a vague date. For us, though, it would be "the baby's due in Summer", as I'm Australian and Summer starts in December. (Will add my flag up there.)

Thanks again, everyone! Really appreciate all of your comments.

Now... Excuse me while I go stave off some horrible nausea. Oh, the joy!

 

[PegasusOnFire]

This little baby is due in the midst of 4/5 of my siblings and my birthdays, along with one nephew. When I told my family my due date they all told me I would have this baby on my birthday, cause we have the same due date. I was born at 36 weeks 6 days. But then my due date changed with this baby so now they are saying May 1, LOL. My twin and I were born on Cinco de Mayo, and my brothers are the 21st and the 29th, my nephew is the 30th, I am due the 22nd and having a C-section so that will put me closer to Mother's day.

 

[Kazamataz]

Having found out DH and I are pregnant yesterday, I told some friends. We figured out the due date, which is mid-December.

I've had a few of them make negative comments about the baby being born so close to Christmas, and how it'll always be fighting with other celebrations. I personally don't agree with what they're saying, because our baby will be just as loved and will have just as much fuss and celebration made over their own special day.

I'm just a little upset and down because I feel like these friends should be happy for us, just like DH and I are over the moon, but instead some friends inadvertently seem to be raining on our parade.

Not sure what my question is here. Maybe I'm wondering if others have gone through having to defend their baby's due date too - whether it's Christmas, Easter or some other major event. What did/do you say or do in these times?

I have friends who's birthdays are close to christmas and most of them hate it.
because they get jipped with birthday and christmas presents. (usually they get rolled into one)

Having said that tho you can't change the date you bub is due.
i'm due in a couple of weeks and my bub could very well be an easter baby! there's not much i can do about that.

One idea i might suggest tho is my friend who is born on christmas day always celebrates his birthday in June.

So for example instead of having a 10th birthday he had a 10 1/2 birthday.

The fun part about this is you can't buy cards so everyone has to make him one and he gets to have a special day that he doesn't have to share with christmas.

 

[Singin4Him]

I had my baby the 26th of December that DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS ....and ya know what, we believe he has one of the most special birthdays because it's the day after such a special celebration of Jesus ! I got the same comments from people who would ask my due date and I just replied, "what better day could it be on than the day after Jesus' birth?" I want to raise him not thinking of Christmas as a day he gets stuff but so much more sacred than that. The only reason people think it's bad to have a Christmas month b-day is because of the lack of gifts or because many families combine birthday and Christmas and we certainly plan to make both a big deal separately.

So don't let their comments get you down but rather remember your baby will have a very special birthday date!

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

Congratulations on your pregnancy Jemma!
People just like to comment I find, no matter when your bubs is due, someone will find something to say that will not be nice or helpful!
My daughter was born on the 8th of july, we have a lot of family b'days around then, my sisters is on the 26th of june, my nana's is the 1st of july, my aunties is 8th aswell, my mum's is the 9th, mine is the 13th and my FIL's is the 19th... But my daughters is the one that people make the biggest deal over - no-one else cares that much for a big birthday!

 

[karla]

I'm actually due on Easter (2 more weeks) and I pray that this baby will be on time. I was late with my others.

I think having a baby at Christmas time would be great - I mean I can't think of anyone better to share a birthday with!

Congrats

 

[ChildByGrace]

It's not fair that people make comments like that to you without knowing how you feel.

It can cause problems though. My sisters birthday is 6th Jan and while the rest of us (myself and 2 brothers) all got a small sum of money from our grandma on our birthdays and at Christmas my sister only got money for Christmas 'because your birthday is too close to Christmas and i can't afford it' was her reason - even though she is actually extremely well off.

It didn't ruin her birthday but none of us felt it was very fair.

If i ever had a child close to Christmas i would make sure that the birthday was celebrated completely seperatly

 

[gracepaints]

I was actually hoping for a Christmas baby. As it is, I'm getting one somewhere between Halloween and Thanksgiving.

Why did I want to have a Christmas baby? Because I married one! My husband was born on Christmas Eve and I've asked him repeatedly if he felt jipped for celebrations or gifts and he's said no. Even as an adult, his family always makes sure that we do something special to celebrate his birthday before Christmas and he gets separate gifts.

Double plus bonus - the hospitals sometimes do special things for Christmas babies. My hubby had his picture taken in a giant stocking which his parents got to take home. It was SO cute! I want to put my baby in a stocking for Christmas.

 

[Beth1231]

I love that idea, Grace.

Jemma, the next time someone says something insensitive, you can smile and think of your newborn in a Chrirstmas stocking! I love it!

 

[Jemma]

One idea i might suggest tho is my friend who is born on christmas day always celebrates his birthday in June.

So for example instead of having a 10th birthday he had a 10 1/2 birthday.

That's a great idea too. I'm already thinking of that possibility - to celebrate in some other month so the baby/child can have undistracted celebrations with

I'm actually due on Easter (2 more weeks) and I pray that this baby will be on time. I was late with my others.

I think having a baby at Christmas time would be great - I mean I can't think of anyone better to share a birthday with!

Congrats

Any news on this front? Congratulations in advance, by the way!

Double plus bonus - the hospitals sometimes do special things for Christmas babies. My hubby had his picture taken in a giant stocking which his parents got to take home. It was SO cute! I want to put my baby in a stocking for Christmas.

I completely forgot about special Christmas treatment until you mentioned it. I don't know what they do over here in Australia for Christmas babies/mums. A stocking is mostly an American thing, being that it's the season of cold snows and roaring fires there. Over here, it's usually too hot at Christmas time to be stuck inside! I'm sure the maternity staff will do something special though. I look forward to finding out!