Decision Making

[justMark]

This is an issue that I have been dealing with for a long time. It stems from how we go about making everday decisions - big ones (like should I go into ministry or should I marry this women) to medium size ones (like should I buy this house or that car), to small ones (like should I have cereal or waffles for breakfast this morning.)

I had a co-worker that kept having "feelings" and signs and felt that God was trying to comunicate His will to her in these odd ways. She wanted to buy a car once and missed the exit on the highway. She thought that it was God telling her not to buy from that particular dealership.

I have read, Decision Making and the Will of God by Garry Frieson. The book has helped out quite a bit, but grow frustrated when I hear solid Biblical Christians over spiritualize every feeling and thought as God attempting to communicate with them.

What are your thoughts on this?

 

[IamAdopted]

I don't go by feelings. If we are called to ministry this desire will be God given and God will follow this up with signs following through His written word. It is more than a human feeling though. It is a desire that is almost like an ache. Then we pray about it and seek God through His word. God says that the heart of man has many plans but the Lord directs His steps. I trust fully in the written word of God. I test every feeling and desire with scripture and go into Prayer about it. God will give you Wisdom for He promises us this in scripture.

 

[bluemarkus]

wow, now that´s a very important one !

all of us have a certain way of doing things. i guess personal experience is absolutely key in our decisionmaking process. human authority is also a key. feelings can play a very important role.

i am a bornagain for 3 years now, and the way i make daily decisions, big, medium and small, has shifted a lot. my character is still being molded, and i am still learning.

yes, we need both, the rational, what we know, what feels safe, what is reasonable.

yes, but also the unreasonable, when all people tell you "no" and you still feel the lord says "yes!"also this inner conviction, this vague feeling of just "Knowing". it is often the voice of the spirit.

military wisdom: keep your big mouth shut and your eyes and ears wide open...

we cannot take all decisions on our own, we have support by prayer.
god will open doors for us that we didn´t even know existed.

but common sense, whatever that is to every individual, should be the solid ground and bottomline.

sorry, i wrote so much, most of it was selfreflection, because it is such an important topic for me right now. yes, major and important decisions are to be made in my life in the next weeks...

Markus

 

[desmalia]

I don't go by feelings. If we are called to ministry this desire will be God given and God will follow this up with signs following through His written word. It is more than a human feeling though. It is a desire that is almost like an ache. Then we pray about it and seek God through His word. God says that the heart of man has many plans but the Lord directs His steps. I trust fully in the written word of God. I test every feeling and desire with scripture and go into Prayer about it. God will give you Wisdom for He promises us this in scripture.

When approaching a decision we need to make sure we are really submitting to Christ's will in our lives, wanting that above all else. When I pray for direction, no matter how much I feel that I want to to one way or the other, I pray for God's will, not mine, and that He will give me a big fat "NO" if I start to go in a wrong direction. We also know that it is never, ever His will for us to sin. That in itself serves as a powerful roadmap.

 

[ArcticFox]

The woman who missed the exit, why didn't she just assume that it was Satan trying to stop her instead of God telling not to go there?

Or, I have a much better interpretation: she simply missed the exist because she wasn't sure where to go, wasn't paying attention, or had trouble getting over. Neither Satan nor God are sending any explicit messages through that.

Decision making is an area in which many Christians seek for and desire more direct involvement from the Lord, but he simply doesn't provide it; he isn't in the business of running every detail of our lives in a tangible way that we can see or interact with (he is sovereign over everything, of course).

Instead, he calls us to be changed from the inside out by the Word, and to be transformed by the renewal of our mind:

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world,* but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.*

After we do this, we can begin to make good decisions using our OWN brain and our OWN thinking processes. Is this "leaning on our own understanding?" No, because we are filling our head constantly with God's truth and constantly dwelling on his character and his Word. When we do that, we can begin to make good decisions for his glory.

For example, after we read time and time again about the value of using everything to maximally glorify God and his kingdom, we realize that perhaps instead of buying a new car we should send a large amount of money to the Sudan to help Christian relief workers who are spreading the gospel. Or, we may realize that filling our belly with sticky, sugar syrup-covered high-gluten white-flour waffles may not be the best choice, and instead opt for whole-grain, 100% real-fruit covered pancakes. And, when the time comes that a co-worker starts talking about how your other colleague is dating this girl that she thinks probably was involved with ... Well, anyway, you feel this intense need to avoid the conversation and re-direct it somewhere better that can build up instead of only tear down.

Such is the nature of a mind transformed by renewal in the Word. I'm sorry, but the vast majority of all believers, Israelites and later Christians, never had a Gideon's fleece, and so neither should we expect one.

A college mentor of mine once said that he made a decision that whether or not he would kiss a girl he was dating depended on the weather (sunny = kiss, cloudy = no kiss). He quickly realized how stupid his decision was, and how it didn't really depend on God but was more of a pagan omen practice.

Some, however, will point to the choosing of the 12th apostle in Acts. Did they not cast lots (i.e., throw dice) for the decision, and believe its result was from God? They did! In this case, they had two viable options; both candidates were good for the position, and neither had any disqualification. So, to choose, they simply cast the lot to see who it would fall on. I'm not opposed to using such methods if there is no clear reason to choose one thing over another. For example, if you know nothing of two missionary options (either here or there), which would you choose? After looking into these two countries, you can't decide which is best or most needy. So, what do you do? Do you pick one, or flip a coin? Either is fine by me, as long as you are soaking in the Word daily and are filling your mind with the truth of God; if you are doing that properly, I feel no need to command you how to make your decisions.

 

[justMark]

Thank you all for your comments.
It sounds like we are all on the same page for the most part; although desmalia says "I pray for direction" and hopes that God will give her a "No" if she is going in the wrong direction. My opinion would be that we should pray for wisdom, seek out what the Word says on the issue, seek Godly counsel, then make the decision ourselves. Also, I am not sure just how God would give someone a "No".

What do the rest of you think?

 

[desmalia]

Thank you all for your comments.
It sounds like we are all on the same page for the most part; although desmalia says "I pray for direction" and hopes that God will give her a "No" if she is going in the wrong direction. My opinion would be that we should pray for wisdom, seek out what the Word says on the issue, seek Godly counsel, then make the decision ourselves. Also, I am not sure just how God would give someone a "No".

What do the rest of you think?

I guess with that one I was thinking specifically of my marriage. When we were dating of course there was strong emotion and we badly wanted to get married. But we only wanted it if it was God's will. I totally agree that we look to the word for what it says above alll. And from that we saw how our relationship with God was growing as we grew closer. But we still desired for God's will above our own, even while knowing what we wanted. For this issue it was a part of submission. Perhaps this specific process is only applicable for certain situations.

Oh, and a "no" would be represented by anything that showed our marraige would not be glorifying to God. Not something as trivial as a bump in the road (of which we had many! lol).

 

[justMark]

I guess with that one I was thinking specifically of my marriage. When we were dating of course there was strong emotion and we badly wanted to get married. But we only wanted it if it was God's will. I totally agree that we look to the word for what it says above alll. And from that we saw how our relationship with God was growing as we grew closer. But we still desired for God's will above our own, even while knowing what we wanted. For this issue it was a part of submission. Perhaps this specific process is only applicable for certain situations.

Oh, and a "no" would be represented by anything that showed our marraige would not be glorifying to God. Not something as trivial as a bump in the road (of which we had many! lol).

desmalia - So how did you and your husband determine that it was God's will that you two get married?
Did you hear a voice?
Did you have a peace about it?
Were your desires for each other so high that it must have been God?
I am just trying to fully understand how God communicated His specific will in this circumstance.

 

[sunlover1]

This is a great thread Justmark.
I think sometimes people do things
like your co-worker and it's called
'magical thinking' which is a common
childish trait.

I am very guilty of this sort of thing.
I've made some outrageously terrible
decisions, thinking God would just
work all the details out.
I've used fleeces many times
Abused the 'Be still and know that I am God" verse.
And begged, justified etc.
If we really want to follow God's will
we need to know how to pray His Word
and hear His voice, and wait (actively)


But the Bible does say:
Isaiah 30:21
21 And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying,
This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand,
and when ye turn to the left.

Which would seem like we're to hear His voice,
Jesus said His sheep know His voice,
sheep are 'led' by the Shepherd...
(How do you get to know someone's voice btw?)

I've read some great replies, and I
think the best thing to do is to know
the voice of your Lord, and let that
peace of God rule in your heart.

I agree with Arctic Fox, that missing the
exit could be coincidence, God leading
or the enemy interfering.
Not very reliable imo

Thanks, and I'd be interested to hear
what you've read and concluded as well.

sunlover
</IMG>

 

[desmalia]

desmalia - So how did you and your husband determine that it was God's will that you two get married?
Did you hear a voice?
Did you have a peace about it?
Were your desires for each other so high that it must have been God?
I am just trying to fully understand how God communicated His specific will in this circumstance.

Neither of us heard any kind of audible voice. But I really do believe that God speaks most powerfully to us through His word. That is where we turned. We did have a peace about it, but honestly I'm very wary of accepting "feelings" as an answer from God. That includes both our desire for each other and the peace we felt. Feelings can be deceptive and misleading, and Satan can too easily use them to convince us of lies. I would never base any major decision on a feeling.

We prayed daily throughout our relationship and we also read Scripture and some books about the responsibilities of marriage, as well as seeking pre-marriage counselling from our pastor. There is such a wonderful transforming of the mind when we truly seek God's will in our lives. Knowing the immense heartbreak we would have to endure, we were still 100% willing to walk away from the relationship if it was not glorifying to God. But it was, and God blessed us with the holy covenant of marriage. We trusted that God would answer our prayers with His will, and submitted to whatever that may be.

We waited on God while moving forward prayerfully, and continue to do the same now in our marriage.

 

[justMark]

Neither of us heard any kind of audible voice. But I really do believe that God speaks most powerfully to us through His word. That is where we turned. We did have a peace about it, but honestly I'm very wary of accepting "feelings" as an answer from God. That includes both our desire for each other and the peace we felt. Feelings can be deceptive and misleading, and Satan can too easily use them to convince us of lies. I would never base any major decision on a feeling.

We prayed daily throughout our relationship and we also read Scripture and some books about the responsibilities of marriage, as well as seeking pre-marriage counselling from our pastor. There is such a wonderful transforming of the mind when we truly seek God's will in our lives. Knowing the immense heartbreak we would have to endure, we were still 100% willing to walk away from the relationship if it was not glorifying to God. But it was, and God blessed us with the holy covenant of marriage. We trusted that God would answer our prayers with His will, and submitted to whatever that may be.

We waited on God while moving forward prayerfully, and continue to do the same now in our marriage.

Thank you for answering back and contuning this dialogue.

If I may summarize you response:
You did not get any sort of feeling nor relied on any peace to determine God's will in this matter.
You prayed, read scripture and other books, and sought Godly counsel.
At this point, though, I get lost. Did you step out on faith that this was God's will? If so, I am still not completely understanding how God communicated His specific will for you and your husband.

Praying is you talking to God - not God talking to you.
No where in ANY book does it tell you who specifically you should marry.
I assume your pastor did not tell you it was God's will to marry this man. (Otherwise I would be asking him these questions)
How then did God communicate His will that you should marry this particular man?

 

[desmalia]

Thank you for answering back and contuning this dialogue.

If I may summarize you response:
You did not get any sort of feeling nor relied on any peace to determine God's will in this matter.
You prayed, read scripture and other books, and sought Godly counsel.
At this point, though, I get lost. Did you step out on faith that this was God's will? If so, I am still not completely understanding how God communicated His specific will for you and your husband.

Praying is you talking to God - not God talking to you.
No where in ANY book does it tell you who specifically you should marry.
I assume your pastor did not tell you it was God's will to marry this man. (Otherwise I would be asking him these questions)
How then did God communicate His will that you should marry this particular man?

You asked if we stepped out in faith at this point, and the answer is yes. See, God doesn't sit there and watch us make guesses to see if we can get His will right. It's a joint effort. And so long as we genuinely seek to honour God, we can rest in Him and enjoy the journey even when we don't know what's ahead. The key is remembering that God's glory is always our ultimate goal. Marrying this godly man was God's will for me. I know that because God was (and is) glorified in our relationship. Marrying or not marrying is not a choice of sinning or not sinning. But we do know that if it had become 100% impossible for us to marry or if our marriage would somehow be unglorifying to God for some reason that it was possible God had other, better plans for us in store. We remained open to that possibility, trusting in Him, but continuing on the path we were on.

The issue isn't so much whether you "make the right decision" (assuming neither option is sinful, of course). It's our submission to God's will. He gives us a degree of freedom in our earthly decisions and uses those choices to His glory.

 

[justMark]

Okay, this is what I think...... I think sometimes Christians over spiritualize and are a bit lazy when they talk to other Christians. We say things like, "I feel like God is telling me to do thus and such." or "I am going to pray and seek God's will for me in this matter." We make it sound like God is telling us what to do outside of His written Word.

I do not believe God works this way. I believe God has given us His Word to provide guidance and the Holy Spirit to help us understand what was written. He has given us wisdom to apply this guidance and He has given us Godly men and women to help out too. So, if we are walking in the Spirit, praying for wisdom, searching the scriptures faithfully, seeking Godly counsel... if we have done these things then we have the freedom to make whatever decision we want. We can marry whomever we want, buy whatever car we want, go into whatever ministry we want, and eat whatever we want for breakfast knowing that it will be pleasing to God.