Death Spiral..?

[ShadowsChild]

Been a while since I have been on here, but I felt I had to reach out to someone.. some way.
My situation has gone from bad to worse - all I have the strength the say is that I am looking at being homeless within the next few weeks. Contemplating sending my 4 year old daughter to live with my mother because I can't take care of her - but at the same time, I know if I do .. I have no reason left.
I can't DO this anymore .. dealing with being homeless is bad enough, but to have an episode on top of it .. WHY MUST I DO NAUGHT BUT SUFFER!!!

It's not fair, not fair to me, not fair to my daughter .. oh and to top it off, my ex husband is threatening suicide rather then facing his pain to see our daughter ( I left him) I'm so tired everyone. I have even gone to the bible, as suggested by another member - the words swim on the page and makes no sense at all to me.
Can't go to hospital, I would lose my daughter for sure - besides, even if I didn't lose her for good - where would she go, who would take care of her? I constantly feel as though there is a noose around my neck, a weight on my shoulders that is breaking me.

So far I have avoid SH, honestly, I have no idea how - but I have.. one small victory for me I guess. What are other things you do when you get to this state. (Oh, and if anyone was wondering, I have yet to get back on meds - the doctor I had an appointment with cancelled, and I never got up the courage to make a new appointment)

 

[Emily99]

I pray right now that the Lord Jesus will give you courage and strength of heart. Make another appt to get back on your meds. Lord Jesus, loose the chains that bind her, and give her rest and safety. Send your angels to provide her every need and to comfort her. Make the way clear for her. When we are weak He is strong. Glory to God! Trust in Him with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding.
Amen!

 

[mum24]

I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time. You are under a lot of stress for sure. I don't know what to say but if you are contemplating suicide please get help right away. Your daughter needs you, not your mom and your mom and other people need you too. I am so sorry you are feeling so down. Take care please.

 

[rossignol]

You are not alone in feeling this way. People in this community are praying for you and understand what your going through. The biggest step you've taken is admitting what you feel and that your concerned for your daughter while your going through this. Admitting what you feel and your incapability to handle and take care of your daughter is a strong thing, no shame in it, just the opposite.

It's so hard to actually phone a Dr or make it to an appointment when you feel this way. Do you have a friend to call that can make the appointment for you?

Take care of yourself first, it's the only way you can take care of your daughter. Leave her in God's care because He cares for her better than you now or if you were well.

 

[Hisonshine7]

You are not alone in feeling this way. People in this community are praying for you and understand what your going through. The biggest step you've taken is admitting what you feel and that your concerned for your daughter while your going through this. Admitting what you feel and your incapability to handle and take care of your daughter is a strong thing, no shame in it, just the opposite.

It's so hard to actually phone a Dr or make it to an appointment when you feel this way. Do you have a friend to call that can make the appointment for you?

Take care of yourself first, it's the only way you can take care of your daughter. Leave her in God's care because He cares for her better than you now or if you were well.

I agree with you so much Rossignol.

ShadowsChild, please,Get an appointment ASAP.
Take care of yourself so you can take care of your little one.
We are all praying for you.