Even though I'm posting this in the non-WoF subform, I know that sometimes it is easy to mistake what forum a person is in, and unintentionally post a response.
While the subject of healing and dealing with trials has been argued over and over again in the main forum, and now the debate forum, I wanted to start a thread to discuss the issue among those who disagree with the WoF teachings.
As many of you know, I've been dealing with a lot of trials in my life. I'm just going to post briefly for those who may be newer here, or unaware of my situation. I was married in December 2002. In October 2003, my job restructured and moved us from our friends and family to a new home 400 miles away. Around June 2004, my wife was told she had a tumor on her pancreas, but they didn't know if it was cancerous or not. In July, she underwent a whipple surgery, the most invasive abdominal surgery one can get. They basically took out the tumor, part of her pancreas, part of her stomach, parts of her intestines, her gall bladder, and a bile duct. I've heard it is more dangerous than heart surgery. In November 2004, she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and had her thyroid removed. Since that time, my wife has gone through many surgeries, and his still, to this day, dealing with pain and complications relating to her whipple surgery. Then, of course, with the downturn of the economy, my local office closed in May 2008 and since that time I've had to commute 70 miles one way to work. I've also been stuck in between two positions, often times doing twice the amount of work that is typically expected, forcing me to take work home. I'm still hoping things will slow down for work, but because we sell software to the mortgage industry, and because the laws are continuing to change regarding home loans, everyone is being pushed very hard, so that we will all continue to have jobs. Add to that I've recently started having my own health issues, mostly minor, it all adds up.
Dear Friend - I completely understand your life and your wife's as well. My wife was diagnosed with a degenerative bone disease, fibromyalgia, bipolar and myelopathy, about seven years ago. We attempted to see if she could work and that experience proved a mistake since she had five auto accidents, luckily all of which never exceeded three thousand dollars worth of damage and she was OK, considering. I could no longer afford to keep her on our car insurance, so she lost her right to drive and work. Once that occurred I submitted an application for social security disability. After five and a half months we received a letter of refusal and then secured a lawyer. Twenty-two months later we received a letter that concluded that she was receiving her retroactive disability check and a monthly check thereafter. We lost the five and a half months SS from when I first applied because the system only pays from the time your lawyer petitions the court for your wife's disability. I managed somehow to cover our thousand dollar mortgage, two car payments, all of the monthly insurance costs, medications, etc, for the entire twenty seven and a half months. Last week we received her retroactive check. My wife is only fifty years old. She has not been out of the house twenty times that entire period. She is required six different pills a day which equals twenty pills a day. I now own a safe where all medications are securely locked and I can go to work. When I am home, together we determine if her problems are emotional or physical and we handle medications in that manner. She is now dependent on opiates for pain, muscle relaxants for comfort and sedatives for sleep. Her bipolar medications are entirely separate, as is her newest thyroid medication to help offset weight gain due to prescription usage.
This, of course, is only scratching the surface of my life these past six and a half years. There are ups and downs every day. It doesn't cover the addictions my wife had to face resulting from the overabundance of pain medications she's had to take, it doesn't cover the stress I've had dealing with those addictions. It is a constant emotional and even a spiritual struggle.
The stress I have dealt with concerning her medications have been going on for six years as well.
Through it all, though, I've never given up my faith that the Lord will deliver us. He has delivered me from so many things in my own life that I have no doubt He will deliver us from these trials. I don't know when, but I do trust in His provisions, and I do know that we are in His hands.
My faith has taken huge changes. I no longer believe in anything concerning word of faith doctrines. The name it - claim it doctrine is long past me. Prosperity and healing messages are much the same. Go to narrowwayministries.com, then messages, and then archives and look for "Responding to Suffering." It has done wonders for me. It is the truth concerning healing for my life and many of the people around me who have heard this message.
This tangent wasn't meant to highlight my trials, but to bring the subject of trials and tribulations forward for discussion. It is a question of how we deal with trials and tribulations. How do we keep strong? What do we believe when we, or those we love, are sick or struggling? How do we respond?
I can't answer the question on how to respond, only that I now have a grasp on where God fits in with all of what goes on around us.
I look to my experiences with God's love and deliverance in my own life in the past. I cling to God's promises, through His Word, about His deliverance. I trust that, no matter how dark things appear to be, God is there with me, guiding me through the darkness, even though I may not see or feel Him.
I look to my experiences but have my doubts concerning what we see as the promises. Most healings are not met through faith healings or repetition of scripture. I understand that. I look to the grace of God for everything. I don't yet understand where it says "God will have mercy on whom he will..." or why it is that it does exist. I just accept it.
I know I don't pray as often as I should. I do listen to God's Word in the car on my commute and I do listen to Christian music almost exclusively. Only other music I listen to is soundtracks, classical or other instrumental music when I'm working and don't want the lyrics distracting me. I probably don't seek as much support from my Brothers in Christ either. Due to the strains in life, I've found it difficult to make it to church over the past few months. Probably not a good idea, considering.
We are equal in the instrumental aspect of music, being a musician and I almost exclusively listen to John Michael Talbot for Christian music. I can't find a church that I can call home. Living a responsible life is plenty for me.
I don't know why I made this post so long, or why I focused more on my own trials than I had planned when first starting this post. Let me assure you, though, the topic is for discussion about dealing with trials and tribulations, not only my own, so feel free to share your own experiences so that we can all grow in the Lord and strengthen each other in God's Love.
That is a part of all this that some may forget. Absolutely!
