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dealing with my partner....

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by David Sylvian, Oct 20, 2013.

  1. David Sylvian

    David Sylvian From Japan With Love

    303
    +2
    Christian
    Private
    So, I have been having a lot of problems dealing with my spouse. They are constantly changing things up on me. For instance, tonight I asked her, "come on just keep to the words of Jesus", and she refused to stick to the gospels, revelation, the bible and such saying, "Do you doubt my angelicness".

    Instead, she ranted about how heaven would not come to earth, and how her mom was and is a JW and put all this cultic nonsense in her head.


    But she herself knows that is untrue, and as a "for instance", when I once pointed out where are the clouds we would live with Jesus forever in, she pointed around us and said "here".

    Which is true, because a major metaphor for our relationship is flying an airplane above all the earth below....

    If any of that makes sense.



    OTOH, she acts jealous of my other friends, as though I actually consider them different from her. Like my BF from HS, she said she would kill me if I ever visited her.

    Then, she her own self goes and changes everything about her self, so that I never know exactly what she believes.

    Is this love, or some delusion, or am I just completely confused and jaded?
     
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  2. saved24

    saved24 Forgiven Supporter

    +2,012
    Canada
    Pentecostal
    Single
    CA-Conservatives
    Well, love is commitment. Love is patient, love is kind.... I am sorry that you are going through this hard time. It is understandable that she doesn't want you to visit another lady that was your bf in high school. I wouldn't like that either, that would be hard for most women to take. Praying for you. God bless.
     
  3. Another Lazarus

    Another Lazarus Old Newbie

    +1,027
    Christian
    Married
    ask the Lord if she is the true spouse or not.
     
  4. rocklife

    rocklife Senior Veteran

    +127
    Christian
    My Pastor has good advice and says men should have men friends and women should have women friends. Your female BF should be your wife only. You'll get into trouble otherwise. It happens too often.
     
  5. rocklife

    rocklife Senior Veteran

    +127
    Christian
    This is terrible advice
     
  6. Near

    Near In Christ we rise

    +273
    Christian
    Single
    Yeah, you'd think that'd be obvious...

    Of course one's female bf MUST be one's own wife. You have to assume something is spiritually wrong with such people...

    However, I dont think men cant have female friends, I think of females as sisters in Christ. That's how it's supposed to be, not looking for "dating". I'm too wise for that, beyond that...

    By friends, I dont mean hangout buddies, hanging out 24/7, I just mean people we say "hi how are you... That's nice bye"...
     
  7. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

    +24,816
    Anglican
    Married
    It sounds to me like there's a lot of miscommunication going on here, not that either of you is decidedly wrong or obstinate.

    I'd suggest having a long, serious, relaxed discussion where you both explain yourself better so that the other one can understand. Begin by making clear that it's not about one side or the other triumphing or winning over the other one...but it's so that you two can get to the bottom of what the differences are, if they are very important after all, and what part of this is just a matter of misunderstanding.

    Remember that successful relationships are ones in which the two partners are comfortable allowing the spouse to have their own ideas and disagree. The trick often is to be happy disagreeing because the issue about which there is disagreement is seen as not being critical. There are, obviously, SOME disagreements that can't help but destroy a relationship, but most disagreements are not of that level even though they can be damaging if you fret over them unnecessarily and allow yourself to feel personally dissed just because your spouse has a difference of opinion with you.
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2013
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