Dealing with Jealousy

[Gentle Lamb]

If a friend shows signs of being jealous of you, are you obligated to try to re-conciliate with that friend according to Matthew 18? Or is it better to steer clear of that person? For example, when you share big news with a friend and then the friend develops a reason to get mad at you and pretty much stops speaking to you except for bare bones communication. What is the correct course of action biblically?

 

[bèlla]

Women value sameness. Whether its good or bad. Someone who understands them, their challenges, with similar experiences too. When there’s too much difference there’s a problem.

The Lord brought connections that were aligned across the board and its no longer an issue. I used to hear things in the past but I stepped back. If you can’t celebrate what God’s doing in my life that’s a problem. Love desires His best always. Whether we’re experiencing the same or not.

 

[Jonaitis]

If a friend shows signs of being jealous of you, are you obligated to try to re-conciliate with that friend according to Matthew 18? Or is it better to steer clear of that person? For example, when you share big news with a friend and then the friend develops a reason to get mad at you and pretty much stops speaking to you except for bare bones communication. What is the correct course of action biblically?

It sounds to me that your friend is acting a bit immature, and that's not wrong to recognize. Have you tried speaking to them about it? Aeschylus once said, "It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered."

 

[returntosender]

It is sometimes viewed as bragging. Maybe that's how she saw it and reacted. Have you confronted her? Clear the air and give her a chance to apologize if that's where she was coming from. You can't know for sure til you ask her and she needs to know how it was viewed

 

[timf]

It is possible there might be a misunderstanding such as if in sharing your news the other person thought you were bragging on yourself or putting them down.

While sometimes misunderstandings can be corrected, covetousness cannot. A person who is truly jealous reflects a level of self-seeking that not only poisons themselves, but often those around them.

The only hope for those who envy is giving up on the self (the flesh) (Gal 5) and embracing selflessness (love) (1 Cor 13). You can pray for them, but they have to be seeking truth t find it.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

If a friend shows signs of being jealous of you, are you obligated to try to re-conciliate with that friend according to Matthew 18? Or is it better to steer clear of that person? For example, when you share big news with a friend and then the friend develops a reason to get mad at you and pretty much stops speaking to you except for bare bones communication. What is the correct course of action biblically?

If you are true friends then there would be no problem with honest and open communication. "Signs" of jealousy may be your impression however, there may be other issues you are missing, Simply have a heart to heart if the relationship is worthy.
Blessings

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Given what I have observed of the friendship over the years, I think I may be dealing with a surface level friendship. I've been there for that friend through the years, through some hard times that friend went through, trying to be supportive and being there for that friend. When I had my big news, my friend took issue with who I didn't tell the news to and then the communication from my friend kind of died down afterwards. I didn't see my friend checking in with me to see how I was doing. I tried... I had been trying... I just started to ask myself why I was trying so hard when I wasn't seeing the same level of effort from that friend. I'm just going to leave it alone. I tried.

 

[bèlla]

Given what I have observed of the friendship over the years, I think I may be dealing with a surface level friendship.

I posted something on friendship recently that you may find edifying. I recommend praying for godly companions and asking the Lord to help you be a godly friend as well. Mary DeMuth wrote a great book on the subject for women. The one for men is equally good and I recommend reading both. You get different perspectives that will bless you immensely.

The topic comes up a lot. No matter where you are in life. I hear it often from women who are changing or growing. Sometimes the friendships break or have difficulty weathering the difference. Many are hurt and experience painful words and deeds from the people they cared for.

I've heard my share but I take it in stride. Because I understand the root. They're reacting to the reality of their choices and behaviors and the consequences that followed. When you've done differently you'll have a different outcome. Sometimes that's too much and it stirs up jealousy and resentment.

I address it simply by saying its not my fault. I'm not responsible for your decisions, actions, or what did and didn't occur because of them. We have to own our stuff. Including the messes. We can't get mad because others didn't do the same and they're reaping a different result.

Healthy connections require mutual investment. You'll have seasons of give and take when hardships come. But it shouldn't be one-sided as a norm. One person making an effort and the other doing little. If you're prone to over-giving you have watch that. You'll never receive more than they're willing to give or be more than they're willing to allow.

The measure of closeness you desire should influence your connections. They have be seeking the same. If they aren't make adjustments in your relating and expectations or focus on those on the same page.

 

[com7fy8]

Feed on how Jesus is.

Lots of people were jealous of Him, and they did mean things against Him. But Jesus kept doing what is good, to love people.

He did not let evil and selfish people stop Him, and God was committed to what Jesus was doing.

The disciples maybe could be jealous against each other, but Jesus kept saying things which could help them not to compete with each other.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Feed on how Jesus is.

Lots of people were jealous of Him, and they did mean things against Him. But Jesus kept doing what is good, to love people.

He did not let evil and selfish people stop Him, and God was committed to what Jesus was doing.

The disciples maybe could be jealous against each other, but Jesus kept saying things which could help them not to compete with each other.

Yes, Jesus did what was good and He loved people. But Judas was not in His closest circle. His closest circle was made up of Peter, James, and John. And John was His absolute best loved disciple. John is so humble about it that he doesn't even name himself as the best loved, he just refers to himself in the 3rd person. It's a good Godly friendship that helped strengthen Jesus in His ministry on earth.

I posted something on friendship recently that you may find edifying. I recommend praying for godly companions and asking the Lord to help you be a godly friend as well. Mary DeMuth wrote a great book on the subject for women. The one for men is equally good and I recommend reading both. You get different perspectives that will bless you immensely.

The topic comes up a lot. No matter where you are in life. I hear it often from women who are changing or growing. Sometimes the friendships break or have difficulty weathering the difference. Many are hurt and experience painful words and deeds from the people they cared for.

I've heard my share but I take it in stride. Because I understand the root. They're reacting to the reality of their choices and behaviors and the consequences that followed. When you've done differently you'll have a different outcome. Sometimes that's too much and it stirs up jealousy and resentment.

I address it simply by saying its not my fault. I'm not responsible for your decisions, actions, or what did and didn't occur because of them. We have to own our stuff. Including the messes. We can't get mad because others didn't do the same and they're reaping a different result.

Healthy connections require mutual investment. You'll have seasons of give and take when hardships come. But it shouldn't be one-sided as a norm. One person making an effort and the other doing little. If you're prone to over-giving you have watch that. You'll never receive more than they're willing to give or be more than they're willing to allow.

The measure of closeness you desire should influence your connections. They have be seeking the same. If they aren't make adjustments in your relating and expectations or focus on those on the same page.

Thank you @bèlla I read your post on friendship, it was excellent. I do need to pray for good Godly connections. I have never been blessed in the area of friendships or relationships in general. But then again, I wasn't raised in a way to learn to cultivate good Godly relationships. My home was a war zone growing up and I learned only how to be fickle and unloving towards others. So my relationship with God is helping me to learn how to have better relationships with other people. God keeps reminding me to focus on my relationship with Him, so I will.

 

[bèlla]

So my relationship with God is helping me to learn how to have better relationships with other people. God keeps reminding me to focus on my relationship with Him, so I will.

Your relationship with God will deepen your self-love and regard which aids in building connections and setting boundaries. We’re expected to love our neighbors as ourselves. When the latter is out of sync imbalances follow.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Your relationship with God will deepen your self-love and regard which aids in building connections and setting boundaries. We’re expected to love our neighbors as ourselves. When the latter is out of sync imbalances follow.

That is the truth!!!

 

[FutureAndAHope]

If a friend shows signs of being jealous of you, are you obligated to try to re-conciliate with that friend according to Matthew 18? Or is it better to steer clear of that person? For example, when you share big news with a friend and then the friend develops a reason to get mad at you and pretty much stops speaking to you except for bare bones communication. What is the correct course of action biblically?

Just remain their friend. Be friendly. We don't know why people experience problems, we need to stand by them even if they seem unreasonable.