dealing with flash backs

[luv4godremains]

ok,
I feel kinda stupid posting all the time, and selfish, but, i really need help at the moment, so, sorry guys. please dnt think I'm just attention seeking cos I really am not!
ok, anyway,
I was wondering if anyone has any ideas of how to get rid of flashbacks, I keep getting them recently, I keep praying and stuff, but, they scare me, they make me feel so vulnerable and irty, like a complete idiot that should ahve been able to stand up for myself, even though I was only about 5 1/2 or 6.
I just really want them to go.
so, um, thanks guys.
God bless
xXx

 

[sunnyshine]

You were a child. The situation was frightening.
There's no reason to feel ashamed about what somebody else did to you.
The burden of shame and guilt should be with them, not you.
And you shouldn't feel stupid or selfish for talking about what this - you need to talk about it, I've been there and I'm sure many others have too [sadly ]

God won't give you more than you can handle -- though flashbacks are frightening, they are a healthy sign that we are ready to heal!

It's good to have an experienced abuse recovery counselor to guide you through the flashback stage, because it is just a stage. If you go through it the right way, you will heal and learn to live with the memories. If you start to experience flashbacks, get a therapist, especially if you feel suicidal, if you have a psychological diagnosis (or suspect that you might), or if you are prone to self-pity. If you don't feel you need a therapist, at least get a good book to read on the subject.

http://surrealist.org/gurukula/abusesymptoms.html

If you can, having a counselor (who can also diagnose if something deeper, such as PTSD, is going on) or pastor (with experience in this field) help to guide you through this stage could be very beneficial, and if that's not possible, try to find a good book about it... there are also many resources on the internet, and many things you can do to help yourself through the flashbacks when they occur:

Try and focus on something pleasant - a pleasant smell or feeling, something that reminds you of when you were happy or something that relaxes you.

Try lighting scented candles and concentrate on the smell they give off - try and describe the smell and the colours in the flame of the candle.

Do something you can focus on... just something simple, if you've got a pet try stroking them and focus on what you are doing

Use playdough to take out any angry feelings - really beat it up!

Tell yourself that it happened in the past and that although the thoughts and feelings are very real, they can't hurt you now.

Remind yourself that you are a strong person. You survived the event when it happened and you can get through this too.

Try to "ground" yourself. Touch and feel things around you - stamp your feet, touch the walls, smell the air, look at everything in the room around you.

Try and concentrate on your breathing - breathe in through your nose to a slow count of 5 and out through your mouth to a slow count of 5

Do something to make you feel safe and comfortable - wrap yourself up in a duvet, curl up in a ball... whatever works for you.

And of course, keep on praying and seeking God for comfort - he loves you and wants you to heal from this, but healing is a process, which hurts to go through at times but in the end it will just make you stronger!

I'm here if you need to talk more about this...

 

[Daisysqueaks]

What else can I say that Sunny didn't already. All of those are great ideas. And she is right flashbacks are a sign that you are healing. I used to have them constantly...there were times that if I didn't have a flashback that I thought something was wrong with me. I am fortunate enough to have a loving hubby that I was able talk to and he would help me through the really tough times...(I married at 19yr old) There were times that I was sure hubbs would leave me...

Don't EVER feel stupid for posting! It's part of the healing process and we have been through tuff times too so we understand. Know that you are loved!

Try reading Psalms esp Psalm 40

1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.


2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

You also might try journalizing the flashback then when you are strong enough, burn it and say to yourself that you are burning away the past....I couldn't bring myself to burn any but I sure did tear them to pieces! You could try that too!
xxxx~Steph aka Squeaky

 

[liquorice]

Don't ever feel guilty for posting, that's what we are all here for.
I have very violent flashbacks, like you. I have been praying to God and doing my best to keep myself occupied, but, like yours they come very frequently.
I'd take the advice of our sisters ^^..
I know, from experience that it will take a LOT of courage to go to a counsellor, becasue i don't have such courage yet, but keep praying and worshipping God and He will give you GREAT STRENGTH. Believe in yourself honey xxxxx

God bless you..

Jesus LOVES YOU xxxxxx

 

[soap]

ok,
I feel kinda stupid posting all the time, and selfish, but, i really need help at the moment, so, sorry guys. please dnt think I'm just attention seeking cos I really am not!
ok, anyway,
I was wondering if anyone has any ideas of how to get rid of flashbacks, I keep getting them recently, I keep praying and stuff, but, they scare me, they make me feel so vulnerable and irty, like a complete idiot that should ahve been able to stand up for myself, even though I was only about 5 1/2 or 6.
I just really want them to go.
so, um, thanks guys.
God bless
xXx

Have you done any research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? Coming from an abusive past, I experienced many of the symptoms, and found out about it by researching abuse. Scientifically, when something traumatic happens, your brain in a way can't comprehend it (because it is not part of normal everyday life), and so your brain keeps bringing it back up--like trying to make sense out of it. I don't know if this is the case with you, but it might not hurt to do a search on the subject.

 

[luv4godremains]

thanks guys,
I am waiting on the child and family clinic as we have been refferred to family councelling. It's kinda scary though as none of my family no about any of this, I know I should talk to them,but I really don't know how!
I will use some of the methods posted here, and hopefully, I will be back up on my feet again soon! lol
God bless you all