dealing with family members

[janny108]

Hi does anyone here have family members that don't talk to you? My husband has a brother who lives 90 minutes away and they visited us here in 2002 2x. We went to a son's graduation, then unfortunately another brother died soon after, and then the other brother died.

We have lived here for 6 years and we've never been to their home. After my husband had been to the funeral of brother 2 and having contributed money for brother 3's burial expenses,we also gave $ at his son's graduation, we've not heard from brother 1 who lives 90 minutes away.

Why? We don't know. He has always seemed a little on the edgy side and a little angry when my husband has phoned him in the past. I think he did not like when he moved to AZ where he's from BTW. He'd left home like the other brothers, namely by joining the army.

Their parents are deceased.

How can we handle this? We've sent a card with a pic of our daughter. We don't know how else to handle this.
What would you do?
Jan

 

[Onlythingavailable]

I don't know what kind of a relationship your husband has with his brother, but if it were my brother, I'd probably go alone and talk to him, face-to-face. Maybe you've done that, but I think it would help the brother to open up.

 

[janny108]

Hi does anyone here have family members that don't talk to you? My husband has a brother who lives 90 minutes away and they visited us here in 2002 2x. We went to a son's graduation, then unfortunately another brother died soon after, and then the other brother died.

We have lived here for 6 years and we've never been to their home. After my husband had been to the funeral of brother 2 and having contributed money for brother 3's burial expenses,we also gave $ at his son's graduation, we've not heard from brother 1 who lives 90 minutes away.

Why? We don't know. He has always seemed a little on the edgy side and a little angry when my husband has phoned him in the past. I think he did not like when he moved to AZ where he's from BTW. He'd left home like the other brothers, namely by joining the army.

Their parents are deceased.

How can we handle this? We've sent a card with a pic of our daughter. We don't know how else to handle this.
What would you do?
Jan

When we met in 2002 his wife Ruth and I'd met something like 10 years ago and I thought the luncheon went reasonably well.
But James(brother 1) had always been close to Archie (brother 2)and felt like Gary's(brother 3) caretaker I think. I think he always felt like he was the "responsible one" even though my husband had never been anything but civil to him.

I think when Chuck accompanied them to Archie's funeral in CA, Chuck got to see how unruly the kids really were and how James and Ruth handled things.

Joann, Archie's wife asked Chuck to give a devotion at the funeral. She knew we were Christians.

Jan

Jan

 

[Onlythingavailable]

So you think the brother is feeling jealous, or like he has lost his place as the head of the family? I still think it would be best if your husband went and talked to him about it face-to-face.

 

[rocklife]

we have some family members like this. I would say don't push it and don't let that make you feel bad. Live your life, and when they want your company, be open and welcoming and ready, even if it isn't often.

and some people don't think it's particularly cool to hang out with Christians, don't let that get you down, Jesus has blessings for us when we are rejected for his sake, I speak from experience. put those ones in prayers.

 

[janny108]

we have some family members like this. I would say don't push it and don't let that make you feel bad. Live your life, and when they want your company, be open and welcoming and ready, even if it isn't often.

and some people don't think it's particularly cool to hang out with Christians, don't let that get you down, Jesus has blessings for us when we are rejected for his sake, I speak from experience. put those ones in prayers.

Yeah we pretty much leave them alone now. When we got here, I used to include him on our emails once a month. I thought that it might have something to do with our being believers.

 

[janny108]

So you think the brother is feeling jealous, or like he has lost his place as the head of the family? I still think it would be best if your husband went and talked to him about it face-to-face.

Who knows what he thinks?
I talk to my sis in law who was Archie's wife and she is in contact with us. She says James does not acknowledge her either. Especially since it sounds like he was a bit controlling in that he wanted Archie buried there in Tucson, and not in CA where she is.

Jan

 

[janny108]

Who knows what he thinks?
I talk to my sis in law who was Archie's wife and she is in contact with us. She says James does not acknowledge her either. Especially since it sounds like he was a bit controlling in that he wanted Archie buried there in Tucson, and not in CA where she is.

Jan

Well she was his "wife"(they were never officially married) and I think he did not like that.
jan

 

[Onlythingavailable]

Who knows what he thinks?
I talk to my sis in law who was Archie's wife and she is in contact with us. She says James does not acknowledge her either. Especially since it sounds like he was a bit controlling in that he wanted Archie buried there in Tucson, and not in CA where she is.

Jan

Did Archie's wife have any clues as to why he is acting like this? I asked about jealousy because in your previous post it seemed like you thought it was a possible reason for his behavior (or I just assumed too much, wouldn't be the first time, sorry!). I still think the best way is for your husband to go visit his brother. If he refuses to see him there isn't much you can do except pray and keep an "open door" in case his heart softens.