• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

Dealing with antagonistic atheists..?

PrudenceAnn

Newbie
Jan 30, 2014
192
57
In total awe of the Glory of God
✟15,551.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
As a recovering atheist, I have a lot of acquaintances that are themselves atheists. My friends among these people have been utterly accepting of me finding faith... Some of them have even started to look towards Christianity themselves as they can see the joy I am suddenly filled with :) there are also people curious to know why and how... I love these conversations. However, there are some that are more antagonistic. They are almost angry with me for becoming a Christian. Some people have even tired to talk me out of my beliefs. I am able to deal with this fairly well in terms of discussion, but spiritually, I find it heavy and exhausting.

Firstly, I am at a loss as to why anyone would want to talk someone out of faith. Before my rebirth, as much as I did not believe, I did not discourage others from believing. I had no issue with faith, I just hadn't experienced it... So I am at a loss as to why some people behave in this way... Does anyone have any ideas? Maybe understanding the issue would help me deal with it.

Secondly, does anyone have an advice as to how to deal with the heavy feeling. I get during these conversations? Afterwards, I am able to recenter myself with Scripture, music and prayer, but during these conversations, I feel so sad.

Thank you all so much for reading this :)
 

Soul2Soul

Love is .....
Dec 23, 2013
374
19
London
✟16,928.00
Country
United Kingdom
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
As a recovering atheist, I have a lot of acquaintances that are themselves atheists. My friends among these people have been utterly accepting of me finding faith... Some of them have even started to look towards Christianity themselves as they can see the joy I am suddenly filled with :) there are also people curious to know why and how... I love these conversations. However, there are some that are more antagonistic. They are almost angry with me for becoming a Christian. Some people have even tired to talk me out of my beliefs. I am able to deal with this fairly well in terms of discussion, but spiritually, I find it heavy and exhausting.

Firstly, I am at a loss as to why anyone would want to talk someone out of faith. Before my rebirth, as much as I did not believe, I did not discourage others from believing. I had no issue with faith, I just hadn't experienced it... So I am at a loss as to why some people behave in this way... Does anyone have any ideas? Maybe understanding the issue would help me deal with it.

Secondly, does anyone have an advice as to how to deal with the heavy feeling. I get during these conversations? Afterwards, I am able to recenter myself with Scripture, music and prayer, but during these conversations, I feel so sad.

Thank you all so much for reading this :)

Hi PrudenceAnn,

I think it would help if you perhaps took each person as they are ... not everyone is going to have the same attitude as you did prior to your conversion. I also used to feel heavy hearted when I first started reaching out to people and got negative responses and reactions, but you know since the first attempts I have been shouted at, insulted, threatened and assaulted, not to mention people trying to talk me out of the faith. Incredibly not all the perpetrators were atheists, in fact most of them claimed to be religious!

You probably feel sad and heavy hearted because I believe you have a heart that cares for people and it's difficult to understand why some people are unable to comprehend and also reject the message you are sharing with them. Also it could be that you are taking things a bit too personally? Put yourself in Jesus' shoes and imagine what he went through regarding skeptics and other non-believers .... yet he persisted in delivering his message despite his personal hurt.

I would encourage you to expect the unexpected whilst sharing your faith with others but grow in your knowledge of the scriptures - and grow in your relationship with the Lord, because it is all about Christ. Hope this helps :)

"But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect ..." 1Peter 3:15
 
Upvote 0

PrudenceAnn

Newbie
Jan 30, 2014
192
57
In total awe of the Glory of God
✟15,551.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Hi PrudenceAnn,

I think it would help if you perhaps took each person as they are ... not everyone is going to have the same attitude as you did prior to your conversion. I also used to feel heavy hearted when I first started reaching out to people and got negative responses and reactions, but you know since the first attempts I have been shouted at, insulted, threatened and assaulted, not to mention people trying to talk me out of the faith. Incredibly not all the perpetrators were atheists, in fact most of them claimed to be religious!

You probably feel sad and heavy hearted because I believe you have a heart that cares for people and it's difficult to understand why some people are unable to comprehend and also reject the message you are sharing with them. Also it could be that you are taking things a bit too personally? Put yourself in Jesus' shoes and imagine what he went through regarding skeptics and other non-believers .... yet he persisted in delivering his message despite his personal hurt.

I would encourage you to expect the unexpected whilst sharing your faith with others but grow in your knowledge of the scriptures - and grow in your relationship with the Lord, because it is all about Christ. Hope this helps :)

"But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect ..." 1Peter 3:15

Thank you so much for responding Soul2Soul :) I do have a tendency to take things personally... Although in some cases it is hard not to... I have been called all manner of names and have been personally insulted :( perhaps I need to rethink the way I approach it? I only ever feel able to express what I personally understand of my faith... I do not feel as though I can speak for others... Perhaps this is why it feels so very personal to me? It isn't that I expect people to convert based in my testimony... Not at all! Indeed, if I could have one wish, it would be that every individual would have their own testimony of faith, personal to them and their relationship with God. I guess it is that I expect a level of respect on a human level. I need to try and understand that some people are not "there" yet... and start looking at respect of humanity as the blessing that it is. Some people may even have felt hurt by the religious convictions of others and this could fuel their responses. I think what hurts the most is that I can really see the innate beauty and intrinsic worth of all of creation, and it is painful to see that beauty and value being denied, and in so cruel a way. As I said in my original post, I feel (and have been told) that I am quite good at giving love, even when not receiving it... But it does leave me heavy... Perhaps I am not giving as much love as I think I am? Perhaps. I need to learn to walk away from these conversations? You have given me a lot to contemplate, and I thank you sincerely for that :)

Thank you also for reminding me of that beautiful verse... I will hold that in my heart every time I encounter such conversations. :)
 
Upvote 0

Peripatetic

Restless mind, peaceful soul.
Feb 28, 2010
3,179
219
✟29,595.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Don't blame yourself if conversations don't go well or become antagonistic without any escalation on your part. Our beliefs will always be unpopular with some. It's OK to change the subject or avoid the topic altogether if it isn't going to be productive. You can show love in other ways and pray, but for some the window may be closed now and no convincing will change their mind at this time.

I echo Soul2Soul about your heart being heavy because you care. I find the closer I am to God, I feel less anger in general, but more sadness when I encounter suffering or anti-God perspectives.
 
Upvote 0

Soul2Soul

Love is .....
Dec 23, 2013
374
19
London
✟16,928.00
Country
United Kingdom
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Don't blame yourself if conversations don't go well or become antagonistic without any escalation on your part. Our beliefs will always be unpopular with some. It's OK to change the subject or avoid the topic altogether if it isn't going to be productive. You can show love in other ways and pray, but for some the window may be closed now and no convincing will change their mind at this time.

I echo Soul2Soul about your heart being heavy because you care. I find the closer I am to God, I feel less anger in general, but more sadness when I encounter suffering or anti-God perspectives.

Very good stuff. I agree with you entirely - especially the point about being close(r) to God. Thanks for contributing :)
 
Upvote 0

Soul2Soul

Love is .....
Dec 23, 2013
374
19
London
✟16,928.00
Country
United Kingdom
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Thank you so much for responding Soul2Soul :) I do have a tendency to take things personally... Although in some cases it is hard not to... I have been called all manner of names and have been personally insulted :( perhaps I need to rethink the way I approach it? I only ever feel able to express what I personally understand of my faith... I do not feel as though I can speak for others... Perhaps this is why it feels so very personal to me? It isn't that I expect people to convert based in my testimony... Not at all! Indeed, if I could have one wish, it would be that every individual would have their own testimony of faith, personal to them and their relationship with God. I guess it is that I expect a level of respect on a human level. I need to try and understand that some people are not "there" yet... and start looking at respect of humanity as the blessing that it is. Some people may even have felt hurt by the religious convictions of others and this could fuel their responses. I think what hurts the most is that I can really see the innate beauty and intrinsic worth of all of creation, and it is painful to see that beauty and value being denied, and in so cruel a way. As I said in my original post, I feel (and have been told) that I am quite good at giving love, even when not receiving it... But it does leave me heavy... Perhaps I am not giving as much love as I think I am? Perhaps. I need to learn to walk away from these conversations? You have given me a lot to contemplate, and I thank you sincerely for that :)

Thank you also for reminding me of that beautiful verse... I will hold that in my heart every time I encounter such conversations. :)


Yes, I do agree it is hard at times to not take things personally. I think that Peripatetic has offered some really good input.

I would want to share some extra thoughts which you hopefully may find useful in terms of sharing your faith with others:

The mentality that I employ in sharing my faith is that of sowing seeds - you are probably aware of the parable about the Sower (if not, it may well be worth reading) .... and I believe that is all I can do - i.e. to sow seeds in the hearts and minds of people. What I have to bear in mind is that it is not up to me how the seeds will take effect despite my anticipations/expectations ..... and, only God can make them grow.

I think that people see the innate beauty and intrinsic value of creation from different perspectives so perhaps it may not be best to think that others deny these values - rather it's a matter of different opinions :)

It has helped me a lot to continually assess my motives when sharing my faith with others .. particularly in determining the aspect of personal gain I derive from it and also whether there is a disproportionate amount of personal ambition - I have to strive to remember that whatever I do whether in thought or deed, it has to be in behalf of Christ.

It's really great to have you here - and hope we can encourage each other in the faith. :)
 
Upvote 0

PrudenceAnn

Newbie
Jan 30, 2014
192
57
In total awe of the Glory of God
✟15,551.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Thank you both so much for taking the time to give me your insight :) I apologise for the delay in responding, and the potential sloppiness in this response... I am ludicrously tired today!

I completely agree that one must always address one's motives when taking part in these discussions... In some discussions, I have literally had to step away for precisely the reason stated by Soul2Soul... Things get so personal that it becomes more about me "winning" the discussion than about God... and that is absolutely not ok... Or even healthy. I am getting much better at identifying when there is a risk of this happening, and stepping away before it has even begun. I hope I will continue to grow in this respect.

It is funny that you should mention the Parable of the Sower... This was the topic at my son's Sunday school last week! :)

Peripatetic, I can totally relate to that! These days, anger is almost alien to me... But sadness can be rather intense. Any denial of God, including in behaviour, hurts me in the kernel of my being and often makes me cry. On Monday, for example, I watched a young women weep as she was told she had been evicted from her property... It made me weep too... both at the time, and later on when recalling the incident. I wanted to ask those responsible what on earth they thought they were doing... How that could possible help anyone in a difficult situation... And I wanted to tell the young woman that it would all be ok, that she is worth so much more than the situation indicated.... And is so loved. I didn't, as the situation was just not appropriate, but still wish I had to a certain extent *sigh* :(

It is almost amusing that some people look at faith as being an "easy answer"... Things were much easier when I didn't believe in anything! Not that I would change it for the world... God is demonstrably worth it, and more.

Thank you both again for responding; I am excited to grow in faith with the community here. :)

P.s. I hope you both get this response... I can't for the life of me work out how to multi-quote! :confused: technology is not a gift of mine!
 
Upvote 0

Harry3142

Regular Member
Apr 9, 2006
3,749
259
Ohio
✟27,729.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
In the winter of 1964 I took a college philosophy course. On the first day the lecturer announced that he intended to cause 1/3 of the class to become agnostics, and another 1/3 to become atheists by the time the quarter had ended. He then proceeded to attack all religion, with special vehemence directed at Christianity, for the majority of that quarter.

As we approached the end of the quarter it became apparent why he had attacked religion. His 'pet' philosophy was Hard Determinism, and he was evangelizing the entire class in an effort to talk us into accepting this philosophy as our substitute for religion.

Under this philosophy there was no such thing as good or evil, there was no such thing as free will, and there was no such thing as an objective code of morality which everyone should conduct their lives by. Instead, we were to accept that everyone was totally powerless to perform any action other than that which they had been 'programmed' to perform. Through a combination of familial environment, societal environment, and genetics we had been 'hardwired' to perform certain acts, while refraining from performing certain other acts.

Under this philosophy Adolph Hitler, Adolph Eichmann, Albert Schweitzer, and Jonas Salk were all to be seen as equally acceptable. Since under Hard Determinism they were powerless to do anything other than what they had done, they were all to be seen as blameless for their actions, with none of them identified as any better than the others.

Today we still have people who would have us accept that there is no such thing as morality, or good and evil. Instead, they would have us accept that everyone is living out the lifestyle that they were 'programmed' to have, and there is nothing that they can do about it. We call them 'evangelical atheists', because their goal is to 'convert' everyone else into accepting their philosophy instead of accepting religious teachings. To them religion is the antithesis of all that they would have us believe, so in order to get their doctrine accepted as fact by others, religion must be wiped out.
 
Upvote 0

PrudenceAnn

Newbie
Jan 30, 2014
192
57
In total awe of the Glory of God
✟15,551.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
In the winter of 1964 I took a college philosophy course. On the first day the lecturer announced that he intended to cause 1/3 of the class to become agnostics, and another 1/3 to become atheists by the time the quarter had ended. He then proceeded to attack all religion, with special vehemence directed at Christianity, for the majority of that quarter.

As we approached the end of the quarter it became apparent why he had attacked religion. His 'pet' philosophy was Hard Determinism, and he was evangelizing the entire class in an effort to talk us into accepting this philosophy as our substitute for religion.

Under this philosophy there was no such thing as good or evil, there was no such thing as free will, and there was no such thing as an objective code of morality which everyone should conduct their lives by. Instead, we were to accept that everyone was totally powerless to perform any action other than that which they had been 'programmed' to perform. Through a combination of familial environment, societal environment, and genetics we had been 'hardwired' to perform certain acts, while refraining from performing certain other acts.

Under this philosophy Adolph Hitler, Adolph Eichmann, Albert Schweitzer, and Jonas Salk were all to be seen as equally acceptable. Since under Hard Determinism they were powerless to do anything other than what they had done, they were all to be seen as blameless for their actions, with none of them identified as any better than the others.

Today we still have people who would have us accept that there is no such thing as morality, or good and evil. Instead, they would have us accept that everyone is living out the lifestyle that they were 'programmed' to have, and there is nothing that they can do about it. We call them 'evangelical atheists', because their goal is to 'convert' everyone else into accepting their philosophy instead of accepting religious teachings. To them religion is the antithesis of all that they would have us believe, so in order to get their doctrine accepted as fact by others, religion must be wiped out.

Wow. Just wow. Thank you so much for this insight. Worrying though it may be, it is certainly interesting and helps me understand a little more where some people stand. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me.
 
Upvote 0
A

Andrea411

Guest
As a recovering atheist, I have a lot of acquaintances that are themselves atheists. My friends among these people have been utterly accepting of me finding faith... Some of them have even started to look towards Christianity themselves as they can see the joy I am suddenly filled with :) there are also people curious to know why and how... I love these conversations. However, there are some that are more antagonistic. They are almost angry with me for becoming a Christian. Some people have even tired to talk me out of my beliefs. I am able to deal with this fairly well in terms of discussion, but spiritually, I find it heavy and exhausting.

Firstly, I am at a loss as to why anyone would want to talk someone out of faith. Before my rebirth, as much as I did not believe, I did not discourage others from believing. I had no issue with faith, I just hadn't experienced it... So I am at a loss as to why some people behave in this way... Does anyone have any ideas? Maybe understanding the issue would help me deal with it.

Secondly, does anyone have an advice as to how to deal with the heavy feeling. I get during these conversations? Afterwards, I am able to recenter myself with Scripture, music and prayer, but during these conversations, I feel so sad.

Thank you all so much for reading this :)

I am a former atheist too. I love talking to atheists bc my story is one of the miracle and mercy of God toward me an atheist. When my daughter was three I over heard her say something about Jesus and I got angry, I didn't want anyone teaching her about Jesus or religion. When I pressed her about who was talking to her, she threw her little shoulders back and looked me square in the eyes and said, "He talks to me and I talk to Him". It scared me…. she would beg me to take her to church… when she was seven I was suddenly and miraculously converted. I guess the Lord was answering her prayers, bc they weren't mine…. although I did tell the Lord I wanted to know Him "If He were teal" and I meant that….
Ravi Zacharius (apologist) has some great videos where he takes on why he is not an atheist. He is respectful to atheists as I am also. After all I was one… it wouldn't have done much good to antagonize them. I do get peeved when they try to convert Christians and then I want to know what they offer??? They offer nothing?? So leave me with my God and you keep your nothingness and explain to your children what happens when Grandma dies or someone they love… all of a sudden your going to need a belief system, maybe Christianity will do them some good then.

Ravi at Princeton University - Why I'm Not an Atheist - YouTube
 
Upvote 0

Emmy

Senior Veteran
Feb 15, 2004
10,200
940
✟66,005.00
Faith
Salvation Army
Dear Harry3142. Thank God, that God our Heavenly Father is, and will be, ALWAYS IN COMMAND. Jesus told us to Love God with all our hearts, with all our souls, and with all our minds, Also: love our neighbour as we love ourselves. Matthew 7: 7-10: " ask and ye shall receive," then we ask God for Love and Joy, then thank God, and share all Love and Joy with our neighbour: all we know and all we meet, friends and Not-friends. Keep asking and thanking God, then share all Love and Joy all around us. Let us become
sign-posts to God our Heavenly Father. Love is a Christian`s great weapon, love will overcome all enmity and Satanic Pretence. I say this with love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.
 
Upvote 0