Dealbreakers

[RobertMerton]

-smoker
-drinker (2 times a month is okay, for no more than 2 standard drinks per setting)
-swears often
-illicit drug user
-gambler

 

[Gwenyfur]

Are there some attributes which, when you encounter them in a member of the opposite sex, you find so unattractive that you cannot possibly consider them as a potential mate? I think we all have some. In fact I think we all should have some - I don't think that everybody is right for anybody.

Note that such standards do not indicate a judgment of someone's moral character, necessarily. They can be based on incompatibilities between your and their respective personalities, interests, and preferences as well.

Mine:

- Not a believer
- Mean, vindictive, manipulative
- Unreasonable; will not use her mind
- Judgmental, legalistic
- Does not value individual freedom
- Does not care about her health or hygiene, sedentary
- Evangelically vegan
- Anti-gun, anti-hunting or anti-other outdoor activities
- No sense of humor

mine:
-religiously closed minded
-no sense of humor
-doesn't respect the constitution
-doesn't respect the military (despite what DC orders)
-anti-gun
-manipulative, vindictive, whiney, clingy (blech!)
-leaves the toilet seat up (and can't be taught to put it down!)
-druggie, gambler, alcoholic, abuser
- country music/rap fan
-conspiracy theorists
-bad hygiene
-wants more children (I'm *totally* out - can't have anymore anyway )
-wants Marriage (gag me!)
-vanilla (into every life a little kink must live)

 

[MacFall]

. . .I have no idea! I don't even know the heath benefits/concerns that are attatched to it.

The benefits are debatable. Nicotine has been used in the treatment of Alzheimer's disease, and there is some evidence that its use boosts the immune system. I don't know the extent of the truth of those claims. But the concerns are often exaggerated. Especially when it comes to natural tobacco without all the additives and concentrated nicotine - on a per-use basis it's better for you than eating fast food. Which is why I also recommend moderation in that as well.

I'm one of those folks who seriously can not beathe with the smell of cigarettes in the air! It literally chokes me, so that's part of the reason why I don't like smoking!

I can understand that. I don't like cigarette smoke either. But cigarettes are pretty much tobacco-flavored glue sticks. There's little in common between them and cigar/pipe tobacco except that you burn it. You're not even supposed to inhale cigar and pipe smoke, although many people do.

Once again, I'm not bashing people for their preferences here - I just feel like sticking up for responsible users of tobacco and for safer forms of tobacco than cigarettes, which do exist despite all the propaganda to the contrary.

 

[ProAntiRevolution]

That's sort of leaving out the reality that chewers, pipe smokers, and cigar smokers tend to end up with cancers of the mouth and throat. It's true you're more likely to survive something like that, but does anyone really want to live without their jaw?

 

[MacFall]

Chewing is not the same as pipe or cigar smoking. Chew is usually treated like cigarette tobacco. And of course, everyone knows that smoke has carcinogens in it. That's why, as I said before, moderation is important. Grilling your hamburgers and hot dogs also yields carcinogens. Red meat has been liked to colon cancer. Cars destroy the atmosphere. Candy rots your teeth. Microwaving anything will sterilize you. Alcohol kills your brain cells.

Okay. Use moderation, stop worrying, and enjoy your life.

 

[CrusaderKing]

Dealbreaker threads are dealbreakers.

 

[Niels]

Am I the only one who imagines what it would be like if one person personified all of these dealbreakers? What an unpleasant, and at times conflicted, character he or she would be.

 

[lostaquarium]

Am I the only one who imagines what it would be like if one person personified all of these dealbreakers? What an unpleasant, and at times conflicted, character he or she would be.

That's why I find these threads so funny! Especially when people list things like "murderer" or "drug dealer". Like we're going to be wooed by many of those

 

[ceh85]

What does that mean to you?

Hm maybe sexual deviant is a better way of putting it? I don't know what the right term is. But basically someone who has what I would term as unnatural tendencies - paedophile etc. I don't really want to type out a list but you get the idea.

If you were wondering if I was referring to someone who is bisexual or who has experimented in the past etc, that's not necessarily a dealbreaker.

 

[MacFall]

@ Miles: He or she would also have to be bipolar, since different peoples' dealbreakers are bound to contradict one another as more people contribute.

 

[Keri]

Thinking that a dealbreaker thread is a dealbreaker would be a dealbreaker.





Wait, what?

 

[MacFall]

Hm maybe sexual deviant is a better way of putting it? I don't know what the right term is. But basically someone who has what I would term as unnatural tendencies - paedophile etc. I don't really want to type out a list but you get the idea.

If you were wondering if I was referring to someone who is bisexual or who has experimented in the past etc, that's not necessarily a dealbreaker.

Yeah, that is what I was wondering. I've heard people use the term "pervert" to describe everything from rapists to people who are tempted by pornography, so it's not a very well-defined term.

 

[Blank123]

Most non smokers can smell it, believe me

I can often smell somebody else's cig smoke when they're smoking in their car, on the road, when I'm in my car, with the windows rolled up....And they can be a few cars a head of me or behind me.

People who don't smoke can be quite sensitive to it.

yup. it really only takes one and a nonsmoker can smell it. And I'm also rather sensitive to scents. I hate to say it but the reason I started using scented laundry detergent was because I was trying to mask the smell of my ex's cigarettes which would inevitably seep into my clothes. I hated that smell.

but the reason it is back on my dealbreaker list is because I've seen how nicotine addiction can affect a person. Its like any other addiction. There are always excuses why they need to keep smoking and always justifications why its okay to keep smoking. If he were sincere about quitting (and for himself not for me), I'd certainly be flexible about that one. but it'd be something I would be cautious about for sure.

 

[Ayersy]

I'm not fussy, it all really depends on the person. Hah. But, there are some big no-no's:

- Liar (After my last relationship... This is a definite.)

- Cheater (Same as above, though I did forgive her last time.)

- Racist (Really winds me up.)

- Homophobe (Likewise)

- Tries to change who I am (I'm... unique...)

- Had EXTREME problems with my nihilism (A little bit of a problem with it is fine, but if it's apparently a massive issue, then leave me alone)

- Militant vegan/straight edge (If you don't wanna eat meat or drink, that's fine, but let me do what I want)

- Overly flirty with other guys (Again, this is from experience. A bit of playful banter is fine, but try to remember I do have feelings, here.)

- Mixed signals/forcing me to read between the lines (Just tell me what's going on! I hate mind games!)

I think that's about it.

 

[broken_one]

My ex (two exes ago) used to hate when I smoked. She could always smell it in my hair, even when I took a shower right before we went out.

I eventually quit after I just got over smoking (we were long broken up by then ). It was getting in the way of my life, so after a tough time quitting I just never looked back.

 

[Sunset2009]

- Is not passionate about his faith and salvation in Christ
- Does not know thelogy/does not have good theology
- Does not want a lot of kids (by "a lot" I mean 5 or 6)
- Does not believe in the position of authority that a husband has over his home
- Does not have a conviction to homeschool
- Wants to make out a lot (haha, before marriage)
- Does not like the idea of providing for a family / won't work towards having a good job
- Is below 5'10"
- Is unattractive
etcetcetc

 

[CrusaderKing]

Thinking that a dealbreaker thread is a dealbreaker would be a dealbreaker.

It's a dealbreaker to think that a dealbreaker thread is a dealbreaker would be a dealbreaker.

 

[metherion]

It's a dealbreaker to think that a dealbreaker thread is a dealbreaker would be a dealbreaker.

DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DEALBREAKER!

Metherion

 

[Keri]

It's a dealbreaker to think that a dealbreaker thread is a dealbreaker would be a dealbreaker.

Posting things like this is a dealbreaker.

 

[Blank123]

It's a dealbreaker to think that a dealbreaker thread is a dealbreaker would be a dealbreaker.

my head hurts