Dead wrong, guilty and cant find a way to make it right

[fields316_2000]

I've been having martial problems for a few months now and have been posting different things here for advice. I've apologized to my wife about my attitude previously and how i treated her previously which did help me out because since then she's showing alil more respect and consideration and even went with me and our kids to see transformers 2.

heres the problem that was brought to my attention. I have been totaly selfish in our marriage for the last 2 years. totally. I have been a fighter since i was 7, but got into Mixed martial arts about 2 years ago. I remember asking for gear for christmas and my wife didnt get me any; i got upset instead of taking her hint that she didnt want me doing that anymore. i remember spending alot of time out of the house and she told me to not be gone so much so i slowed down the training until my coach pushed me into more events and more supporting of the team.

well it's come to my realization that the fighting changed my attitude for the worst (became cocky and self centered) and i spent more time worrying about myself than supporting my wife in her interests (school going out etc) so i basically blew it. while i was out getting filmed and interviewed for magazines she was basically alone. AND I WAS WRONG.

So after dealing with my sudden guilt over this..i quit fighting. I basically took my remaining gear and put it away, threw away my old fight themed shirts and repented to the Lord about my selfishness.
I told my kids, who didnt want me gone anymore, that im done and they are happy. if they choose i'll train them up but i will not be fighting or training any other 'fighter' again.

the problem is how can i apologise to my wife who basically gave up on me because she wanted this change awhile ago. she tolerated me going and then figured i care more about me than her and about my interests than hers.

I feel terrible. I prayed that God can make up for lost time and i reallly mean that im sorry. I will not put myself first again like that..but i'm afraid she will not believe me if i tell her what i did. how should i approach her or should i just not bring it up? i want my marriage healed and i want to be back with her personally and close the distance between us.

 

[LoneSheep]

I would tell her of your decisions, but most importantly, live your decisions. Make the changes in your life visible so that you are clearly walking the walk, and talking the talk. Repentance is both a change in thought and action. If you are a new tree, your fruit will show the truth.

 

[wonderwaleye]

I've been having martial problems for a few months now and have been posting different things here for advice. I've apologized to my wife about my attitude previously and how i treated her previously which did help me out because since then she's showing alil more respect and consideration and even went with me and our kids to see transformers 2.

heres the problem that was brought to my attention. I have been totaly selfish in our marriage for the last 2 years. totally. I have been a fighter since i was 7, but got into Mixed martial arts about 2 years ago. I remember asking for gear for christmas and my wife didnt get me any; i got upset instead of taking her hint that she didnt want me doing that anymore. i remember spending alot of time out of the house and she told me to not be gone so much so i slowed down the training until my coach pushed me into more events and more supporting of the team.

well it's come to my realization that the fighting changed my attitude for the worst (became cocky and self centered) and i spent more time worrying about myself than supporting my wife in her interests (school going out etc) so i basically blew it. while i was out getting filmed and interviewed for magazines she was basically alone. AND I WAS WRONG.

So after dealing with my sudden guilt over this..i quit fighting. I basically took my remaining gear and put it away, threw away my old fight themed shirts and repented to the Lord about my selfishness.
I told my kids, who didnt want me gone anymore, that im done and they are happy. if they choose i'll train them up but i will not be fighting or training any other 'fighter' again.

the problem is how can i apologise to my wife who basically gave up on me because she wanted this change awhile ago. she tolerated me going and then figured i care more about me than her and about my interests than hers.

I feel terrible. I prayed that God can make up for lost time and i reallly mean that im sorry. I will not put myself first again like that..but i'm afraid she will not believe me if i tell her what i did. how should i approach her or should i just not bring it up? i want my marriage healed and i want to be back with her personally and close the distance between us.

If you are going to be part of the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD you MUST GIVE IT ALL TO GOD.






GOD demands that you give HIM your WHOLE heart, mind, strength, and soul. That means you go in prayer and tell GOD that you will do this and from that moment on seek GOD in all your decisions. After this is complete GOD will know. For HE searches the heart. HE will then send HIS HOLY SPIRIT ( ANOINTED-BORN AGAIN- SAVED ). For it is then that you shall receive the MISSION GOD has for just you and supply all your needs, even what you have not the ability to have.






Pick up GOD'S ROAD MAP to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD ( BIBLE ) and start reading the NEW TESTIMENT till the next time you read it you will already know what IT'S going to say. For then it's locked in your heart to draw from for the rest of your life. You will NEVER be sorry you did.


If you do this and abide by GOD everything will will be in GOD'S HANDS and may HIS WILL be done.


Do you want better than this?


Do yourself a BIG FAVOR and Start right now!!!



LOVE


steven

 

[fields316_2000]

yeah i know about god's word..and i have been dealing with God, his plan and his will for some time now. I have no contract holding me back from leaving my team; my 3 years was up and on top of that, i was on verbal terms so i can legally go at anytime. I have nothing restraining me so im free to leave that life behind.


it's just tied me down for so long that i dont know how to approach saying sorry for the lost time, neglect and selfishness or even if i can make it up at all

 

[wayfaring man]

Hi ,

Ironically the difference in spelling between -

martial ▸ adjective: suggesting war or military life

And -

marital ▸ adjective: of or relating to the state of marriage

Is the " i " is on the other side of the " t " , which brings to mind the two thieves on either side of Jesus' Cross ; the one wanted Christ to presently physically deliver him , while the other sought The Lord to remember him when He is raised up into His Kingdom . ( One seeking the deliverance of a swift fix , while the other sought the benefit of a long term relation .)

And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us.
But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation?
And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man has done nothing amiss.
And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comes into thy kingdom. And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise. <-----> Luke 23:39-43

What The Lord is doing is moving your " i " ( identity ) to the other side ( perspective ) of the " t " ( Cross ) so that you can share in the eternal things of His Everlasting Paradise , this is His work upon your heat , mind , soul , and spirit ... all you need do is be thankful and continue to cooperate , and His workmanship will bring the healing + forgiveness to you , your wife , and your marriage .

... The goodness of God leads thee to repentance. <---> Romans 2:4

May The Lord Be Magnified !

wm

 

[Ric von Hemal]

What made her choose you in the first place? Do those things. Be her rock. As already stated, actions speak louder than words. Leave the kids with grandma and you two go on a date here and there. No, you'll never be able to make up the time lost, but you can surely make certain to not lose more time.

 

[Elijah2]

I've been having martial problems for a few months now and have been posting different things here for advice. I've apologized to my wife about my attitude previously and how i treated her previously which did help me out because since then she's showing alil more respect and consideration and even went with me and our kids to see transformers 2.

heres the problem that was brought to my attention. I have been totaly selfish in our marriage for the last 2 years. totally.
Mate, as much as you are trying to overcome and conquer the works of the enemy that was in life, it may appear to be at no avail, and the reason why that you are dealing with spiritual, physical, and emotional problems.

You said that you apologised to your wife for your selfish behaviour.

Did, you say to your wife:

&#8220;My dear wife, I have been wrong in the things that I have done over the past two years, putting myself first above your and our Children. I am sorry my dear wife, and I do love you deep down within my heart, and I ask you now to please forgive me for my selfishness and all the other irresponsible things that I did to you and our children. I love you and I am sorry, please forgive me!&#8221;

And then hand your wife a beautiful bunch of flowers.

I have been a fighter since i was 7, but got into Mixed martial arts about 2 years ago.
That was your first mistake, because you brought other religion&#8217;s deities into your life.

You need confess and repent your action to our Lord Jesus Christ and ask for forgiveness.

And if any of the &#8220;devil&#8217;s advocates&#8221; post an answer that is contrary to what I say, ignore completely, because I can tell you that I know what I am talking about when you wander out of the realms of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I remember asking for gear for christmas and my wife didnt get me any; i got upset instead of taking her hint that she didnt want me doing that anymore.
No mate, the reason why your wife didn&#8217;t buy it because it was out of HIS WILL! And you were out of HIS WILL.

i remember spending alot of time out of the house and she told me to not be gone so much so i slowed down the training until my coach pushed me into more events and more supporting of the team.

well it's come to my realization that the fighting changed my attitude for the worst (became cocky and self centered) and i spent more time worrying about myself than supporting my wife in her interests (school going out etc) so i basically blew it.
Well, you tell that to our Lord Jesus Christ in verbal prayer, and to your wife.

while i was out getting filmed and interviewed for magazines she was basically alone. AND I WAS WRONG.
Mate, you honesty is going to bring you back in touch with your responsibilities and accountability as a husband and the head of the family.

It&#8217;s going to be a lot of hard work, and there is no quick fix to it all, because your wife and children have been hurt, and they are the ones that need to be healed.

So after dealing with my sudden guilt over this..i quit fighting. I basically took my remaining gear and put it away, threw away my old fight themed shirts and repented to the Lord about my selfishness.
Mate, get ride of all of your gear, because it&#8217;s represents idolatry, burn it, get it out of your house.

I told my kids, who didnt want me gone anymore, that im done and they are happy.
That&#8217;s great mate, well listen to me do what I have said, and don&#8217;t let anyone else deter you from this path.

You got involved with another religion&#8217;s practices, and behind those practices, are the deities of that religion.

if they choose i'll train them up but i will not be fighting or training any other 'fighter' again.
My dear brother, listen to wisdom and a warning. Don&#8217;t get involved with martial arts ever again. Keep away from it, if you want to walk with our Lord Jesus Christ.

the problem is how can i apologise to my wife who basically gave up on me because she wanted this change awhile ago. she tolerated me going and then figured i care more about me than her and about my interests than hers.
While you are out of HIS WILL, by being involved in martial arts, you will continue to struggle.

I feel terrible. I prayed that God can make up for lost time and i reallly mean that im sorry. I will not put myself first again like that..but i'm afraid she will not believe me if i tell her what i did. how should i approach her or should i just not bring it up? i want my marriage healed and i want to be back with her personally and close the distance between us.

Please remember this:

Literally, &#8220;Taeguk&#8221; means &#8220;The Great Absolute and embodies the dual principle of &#8216;Um&#8217; and &#8216;Yang&#8217;&#8221;, known more commonly as &#8220;Yin&#8221; and &#8220;Yang&#8221;. The theory of all of this is that, the users are using a natural phenomena to understand their relationship with heaven and earth. Also &#8220;Taeguk&#8221; gives a false sense of balance and harmony of opposites, which isn&#8217;t Biblical, as a believer of our Lord Jesus Christ, we know that opposites like holiness and sin, cannot co-exist.

&#8220;Eastern Martial Arts&#8221; focus on respecting these phenomena (nature), taking on their attributes and energies, becoming one with the creation and not the creator.

Every Eastern religious philosophy denies the Lordship of our Lord Jesus Christ, His Blood Atonement, and His Bodily Resurrection. Their religious philosophy is to try and save themselves by works.

The moral training in Karate has its roots in Zen Buddhism.

From personal knowledge and experience, many Christians have come under demonic oppression and bondage by simply following Yoga exercise routines, without meditation. Don&#8217;t listen to what others say, because the &#8220;snares of the fowler&#8221; are many in false teaching and false Christians.

All forms of martial arts are involved in the occult.

Martial Arts is a life philosophy, which replaces the belief in our Lord Jesus Christ with more emphasis on man, even though, those Christians who practice, try to tell you differently.

It&#8217;s not clear, which came first in these practices, the religion or the Martial Art. However, the two become closely knit together and entwined at a very early date, producing demonic deities.

&#8220;Aikido&#8221; means: &#8220;the road to a union with the universal spirit&#8221;, and that&#8217;s enough to warn any believer to keep away from these practices.

&#8220;Karma&#8221;, &#8220;Carma&#8221;, &#8220;Kundalini&#8221; all mean: &#8220;Serpent" power&#8221;, that is, Satan.

These deities, demonic spirits are associated with martial arts, and they usually inhabit the spine region, and are associated with the various back problems.

&#8220;Ki&#8221; means &#8220;Universal spirit&#8221;, and all martial arts use &#8220;Ki-power&#8221; in performing the Arts. It is said the power of &#8220;Ki&#8221; is inhaled into the lower abdomen, and exhaled through the hands, when the psychic powers of men are united with spirit and body. The Christian knows that this is demonic power, and is not of our Lord Jesus Christ. It&#8217;s interesting to note that the abdomen is the place where demon spirits congregate.

 

[fields316_2000]

I've been having martial problems for a few months now and have been posting different things here for advice. I've apologized to my wife about my attitude previously and how i treated her previously which did help me out because since then she's showing alil more respect and consideration and even went with me and our kids to see transformers 2.

heres the problem that was brought to my attention. I have been totaly selfish in our marriage for the last 2 years. totally.
Mate, as much as you are trying to overcome and conquer the works of the enemy that was in life, it may appear to be at no avail, and the reason why that you are dealing with spiritual, physical, and emotional problems.

You said that you apologised to your wife for your selfish behaviour.

Did, you say to your wife:

“My dear wife, I have been wrong in the things that I have done over the past two years, putting myself first above your and our Children. I am sorry my dear wife, and I do love you deep down within my heart, and I ask you now to please forgive me for my selfishness and all the other irresponsible things that I did to you and our children. I love you and I am sorry, please forgive me!”

And then hand your wife a beautiful bunch of flowers.

I have been a fighter since i was 7, but got into Mixed martial arts about 2 years ago.
That was your first mistake, because you brought other religion’s deities into your life.

You need confess and repent your action to our Lord Jesus Christ and ask for forgiveness.

And if any of the “devil’s advocates” post an answer that is contrary to what I say, ignore completely, because I can tell you that I know what I am talking about when you wander out of the realms of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I remember asking for gear for christmas and my wife didnt get me any; i got upset instead of taking her hint that she didnt want me doing that anymore.
No mate, the reason why your wife didn’t buy it because it was out of HIS WILL! And you were out of HIS WILL.

i remember spending alot of time out of the house and she told me to not be gone so much so i slowed down the training until my coach pushed me into more events and more supporting of the team.

well it's come to my realization that the fighting changed my attitude for the worst (became cocky and self centered) and i spent more time worrying about myself than supporting my wife in her interests (school going out etc) so i basically blew it.
Well, you tell that to our Lord Jesus Christ in verbal prayer, and to your wife.

while i was out getting filmed and interviewed for magazines she was basically alone. AND I WAS WRONG.
Mate, you honesty is going to bring you back in touch with your responsibilities and accountability as a husband and the head of the family.

It’s going to be a lot of hard work, and there is no quick fix to it all, because your wife and children have been hurt, and they are the ones that need to be healed.

So after dealing with my sudden guilt over this..i quit fighting. I basically took my remaining gear and put it away, threw away my old fight themed shirts and repented to the Lord about my selfishness.
Mate, get ride of all of your gear, because it’s represents idolatry, burn it, get it out of your house.

I told my kids, who didnt want me gone anymore, that im done and they are happy.
That’s great mate, well listen to me do what I have said, and don’t let anyone else deter you from this path.

You got involved with another religion’s practices, and behind those practices, are the deities of that religion.

if they choose i'll train them up but i will not be fighting or training any other 'fighter' again.
My dear brother, listen to wisdom and a warning. Don’t get involved with martial arts ever again. Keep away from it, if you want to walk with our Lord Jesus Christ.

the problem is how can i apologise to my wife who basically gave up on me because she wanted this change awhile ago. she tolerated me going and then figured i care more about me than her and about my interests than hers.
While you are out of HIS WILL, by being involved in martial arts, you will continue to struggle.

I feel terrible. I prayed that God can make up for lost time and i reallly mean that im sorry. I will not put myself first again like that..but i'm afraid she will not believe me if i tell her what i did. how should i approach her or should i just not bring it up? i want my marriage healed and i want to be back with her personally and close the distance between us.

Please remember this:

Literally, “Taeguk” means “The Great Absolute and embodies the dual principle of ‘Um’ and ‘Yang’”, known more commonly as “Yin” and “Yang”. The theory of all of this is that, the users are using a natural phenomena to understand their relationship with heaven and earth. Also “Taeguk” gives a false sense of balance and harmony of opposites, which isn’t Biblical, as a believer of our Lord Jesus Christ, we know that opposites like holiness and sin, cannot co-exist.

“Eastern Martial Arts” focus on respecting these phenomena (nature), taking on their attributes and energies, becoming one with the creation and not the creator.

Every Eastern religious philosophy denies the Lordship of our Lord Jesus Christ, His Blood Atonement, and His Bodily Resurrection. Their religious philosophy is to try and save themselves by works.

The moral training in Karate has its roots in Zen Buddhism.

From personal knowledge and experience, many Christians have come under demonic oppression and bondage by simply following Yoga exercise routines, without meditation. Don’t listen to what others say, because the “snares of the fowler” are many in false teaching and false Christians.

All forms of martial arts are involved in the occult.

Martial Arts is a life philosophy, which replaces the belief in our Lord Jesus Christ with more emphasis on man, even though, those Christians who practice, try to tell you differently.

It’s not clear, which came first in these practices, the religion or the Martial Art. However, the two become closely knit together and entwined at a very early date, producing demonic deities.

“Aikido” means: “the road to a union with the universal spirit”, and that’s enough to warn any believer to keep away from these practices.

“Karma”, “Carma”, “Kundalini” all mean: “Serpent" power”, that is, Satan.

These deities, demonic spirits are associated with martial arts, and they usually inhabit the spine region, and are associated with the various back problems.

“Ki” means “Universal spirit”, and all martial arts use “Ki-power” in performing the Arts. It is said the power of “Ki” is inhaled into the lower abdomen, and exhaled through the hands, when the psychic powers of men are united with spirit and body. The Christian knows that this is demonic power, and is not of our Lord Jesus Christ. It’s interesting to note that the abdomen is the place where demon spirits congregate.

You are a great blessing. I've taught tae kwon do, trained in boxing, wrestling kenpo bjj and kickboxing..and yes alot of the spiritual animals and meditation get involved with mind over matter etc..this has been apart of my life so long that it almost became my identity. in fact most people around me are / were afraid of me and my temper and thought i could be abusive; which i never have nor will be.
I have apologized about a number of things , but the way you spoke about the affect of martial arts on the family i havnt done. The tapout gear,shirts etc im going to get rid of. I want to hang onto my last set of shorts though and put it with my military uniform - as a phase i went through. ill regulate my kids to just boxing for self defense..no power animals or spiritual nonsense..

but yeah ..i've been very selfish and arrogant and this sport in and of it self promotes my flesh and gets me in a frame of mind that the lord doesnt like. i'vee already thrown away all my flyers, cards cleaned out my car of all the stuff there and feel alot better. I'm just intimidated as to approaching my wife because im honestly afraid she might say that she doesnt care, or 'so what it's over' me..but i truely know that this situation has gone on far too long and the root of alot of the problems was me focusing on me.

 

[Blackknight]

A woman is like a rose bush, nourish her and she will bloom, neglect her and she will wilt.

You ever see the movie Fireproof? If not I'd recommend watching it at least for the lessons it teaches.

 

[Shadolus]

From reading your prior threads I'de say you're deffenitely on the right track! Keep doing what you're doing. As long as you ask God to heal your marriage and you're obediant to Him, then there is nothing to worry about. God is fully in control, and yes your wife has a free will, but if she's a Godly women and you're changing over to fully commiting yourself to walk a Christ-like life, then she will see the light that Christ illuminates with in. Hopefully she will see the dedication you display and fully forgive you, and let you back into her life. God believes in second chances(well many more than just seconds to be honest haha) and being a women who knows God and has the characteristics of God then she too will give you another chance. So the bottom line is to be patient with her while displaying the attributes of Christ(and being the man of God you are, I surely believe you understand the make-up of a Christ-like character). When all falls into place you will then see the redemption in which God's grace delivers. God bless and my prayers are with you.

 

[fields316_2000]

look. i had a moving experience at church.; cried my eyes out and realized that the lord never wanted me in this area to fight or train. i had a ministry that was blooming and i ignored it out of pride and disagreements with the pastor. now look at my life. i asked god to forgive me for my decisions, and somehow soften the heart of those i've hurt. i was in tears. however i came home heart hurting to apologize. sure enough my wife said she accepted my apology (i did it word for word as the poster above stated so nicely) but didnt care. she said that she's tired of it all and clearly sees i dont respect her decisions and can care less about my newest realization. so. i told her that i love her anyways , i was selfish and self centered - but she can care less. i gave it to god, and now im still alone and hurtting. so much for that..but at least it's off my chest

 

[Elijah2]

You are a great blessing. I've taught tae kwon do, trained in boxing, wrestling kenpo bjj and kickboxing..and yes alot of the spiritual animals and meditation get involved with mind over matter etc..this has been apart of my life so long that it almost became my identity. in fact most people around me are / were afraid of me and my temper and thought i could be abusive; which i never have nor will be.

I have apologized about a number of things , but the way you spoke about the affect of martial arts on the family i havnt done. The tapout gear,shirts etc im going to get rid of. I want to hang onto my last set of shorts though and put it with my military uniform - as a phase i went through. ill regulate my kids to just boxing for self defense..no power animals or spiritual nonsense..

but yeah ..i've been very selfish and arrogant and this sport in and of it self promotes my flesh and gets me in a frame of mind that the lord doesnt like. i'vee already thrown away all my flyers, cards cleaned out my car of all the stuff there and feel alot better. I'm just intimidated as to approaching my wife because im honestly afraid she might say that she doesnt care, or 'so what it's over' me..but i truely know that this situation has gone on far too long and the root of alot of the problems was me focusing on me.

Mate, I could share many things of my past life, and the things that I had to cleanse out of my life, and destroy by burning.

As far as your wife is concerned, just tread carefully and love. Times like this is like treading on broken eggshells, and a bunch of flowers once a fortnight as an expression of your love will deaden the crackling gradually.

Mate, it’s all about trust, and your wife has trust you again, she has been hurt deeply, and our Lord Jesus Christ has brought you to your senses.

I am now being tested myself to get rid of my service medals from my service in the Army, because they represent war and death, and each time I pull them out of storage once a year to wear when I march with my mates in remembrance of our fallen mates, I still get this deep down inkling feeling in my heart that I am a believer and that I am involved in idolatry because of what my medal represent. Also, the designs of all service medals are masonically inspired.

 

[Shadolus]

Mate, I could share many things of my past life, and the things that I had to cleanse out of my life, and destroy by burning.

As far as your wife is concerned, just tread carefully and love. Times like this is like treading on broken eggshells, and a bunch of flowers once a fortnight as an expression of your love will deaden the crackling gradually.

Mate, it&#8217;s all about trust, and your wife has trust you again, she has been hurt deeply, and our Lord Jesus Christ has brought you to your senses.

I am now being tested myself to get rid of my service medals from my service in the Army, because they represent war and death, and each time I pull them out of storage once a year to wear when I march with my mates in remembrance of our fallen mates, I still get this deep down inkling feeling in my heart that I am a believer and that I am involved in idolatry because of what my medal represent. Also, the designs of all service medals are masonically inspired.

I don't think you should feel ashamed of being in war. In the Bible many great Godly men fought and shed blood. Sometimes its a part of life even in which God knows must happen. Look at Joshua, he's one of my favorite Bible people and he killed thousands. Not saying its pleasant and can't leave mental scars but sometimes things like this must happen and you shouldn't regret it. I believe men who kill in war aren't sinning as long as they have the right motive. As for wearing the medal, you could keep it, like you said, as a symbol to remember your fallen war heros. God bless...

 

[Elijah2]

I don't think you should feel ashamed of being in war. In the Bible many great Godly men fought and shed blood. Sometimes its a part of life even in which God knows must happen. Look at Joshua, he's one of my favorite Bible people and he killed thousands. Not saying its pleasant and can't leave mental scars but sometimes things like this must happen and you shouldn't regret it. I believe men who kill in war aren't sinning as long as they have the right motive. As for wearing the medal, you could keep it, like you said, as a symbol to remember your fallen war heros. God bless...

Thanks mate, I see it in the same way, but lately, I have been felt as though I am being brough to spiritual task in regards to my medals.

I've had many supernatural experiences with other things, which I won't share, but I do know of the unseen power and force behind those items of idolatry from occultic and dark practices from my past.

And over those many years as I disposed of those items and by burning and destroying I had spiritual release, and the enemy fled.

There is much power of darkness behind many unseen things of seen things, because I know from my own personal experiences and in HIS Service.

Anyway, I was basically giving Fields an example of decisions that have to made in our walk with our Lord Jesus Christ to cleans our hands, and purify our heart.

Thanks for your encouragement.

Blessings.

 

[fields316_2000]

Thanks mate, I see it in the same way, but lately, I have been felt as though I am being brough to spiritual task in regards to my medals.

I've had many supernatural experiences with other things, which I won't share, but I do know of the unseen power and force behind those items of idolatry from occultic and dark practices from my past.

And over those many years as I disposed of those items and by burning and destroying I had spiritual release, and the enemy fled.

There is much power of darkness behind many unseen things of seen things, because I know from my own personal experiences and in HIS Service.

Anyway, I was basically giving Fields an example of decisions that have to made in our walk with our Lord Jesus Christ to cleans our hands, and purify our heart.

Thanks for your encouragement.

Blessings.

well while your online why dont you tell me what i should do next? i was in service and just giving it all up to christ and admitting i was wrong broke me and brought me to tears..even after i left service. now im going to find a place to burn this stuff to see what happens. I can say this because i know the tapout guys..their office/building is in my area and most of the stuff in there are demons and dragons and off the wall satanic stuff..look at the labels even after Charles 'Mask' Lewis died..he's featured with vampire fangs or floating. that stuff, despite having just bold printed letters, is a product of things NOT of God.

now that im on the right track..i dont know if Christ is even looking in my direction let alone moving in my situation. maybe this realization was too little too late? perhaps this is my scar to remind myself to stay in line with christ and not depart?

 

[heron]

I notice that most of the posts are from men, which is fine, but I will add a woman's perspective, since you are trying to find out how to speak to a woman.

Your wife has asked to have the freedom to do things she wants out of life -- school, friends, personal goals. The appropriate response to that is not a date. She bought into the marriage with an expectation that she could continue her life, not set everything aside for other people. Find ways to let her own her life, and own how she spends her time.

She has asked that you get to know your kids better, and to be a part of their lives. The response is not quitting martial arts -- it is showing them what you love, and involving them in the things that you respect. And even more, it is attending their recitals and games instead of asking them to attend yours.

She has asked that you spend more time with the kids. The answer to that is not flowers.

Take the kids for a few hours so she can do something on her own. She is desperate for some time to take a breath.

It is extremely draining for her to continually respond to people she's responsible for (and can't walk away from them like one might with employees). Then a husband shows up and wants attention. Gets miffed if he comes home and she is too busy with the kids. (Not implying you do that.... it's just common.)

Give instead of take. Offer instead of expect.

I doubt that she really wanted you to completely stop your martial arts. In not buying the gift, she was just not contributing to the snowballing of a problem she saw.

It wasn't vengeful, it was just a wise choice that you are even recognizing in your more extreme solution. She didn't tell you to quit -- you told yourself to quit.

Giving gifts is not about telling people what to get us. If we want something, we need to get it ourselves. Gifts are perks, expressions of fondness. If the lists take over, we need to send gift-giving into rehab until it gets itself straightened out.

If I had a husband that cold-turkeyed a side activity that was extremely important to him, I would take that as spite. Blame. "Here, you wanted me to quit, so I quit. There." Even if you didn't say it, that's how it comes across, because what she asked for was responsibility in raising your own children. She was not asking for anything that you did not already owe your kids.

So, summing it up: Don't try to dream up creative solutions to woo her when she has already told you exactly what is needed. Take care of your kids.

 

[fields316_2000]

i dont think you understand where im coming from. SHE doesnt spend time with the kids. When i train they are with me, if not training in the kids class. I'm with them 24/7 while she's with her sisters or friends or just gone. for the last 2 years she's claimed to be too depressed to do anything with anyone. SHE needs to spend time around the house or with our boys..she does what ever she wants..its just that i had a ministry blooming and i ignored it to fight and do what I WANTED to do.; she asked me a few times to slow down the training which i did, but then i swung it back up full speed when she was going back to school..

 

[glass_heart]

If she's depressed she needs to see someone about it, depression makes you avoid situations that stress you out; leaves you blind to what you should be doing, feeling vulnerable alone and useless. It makes you think that you aren't needed and that your loved ones are better off without you.

It sounds like you're both having a bit of a selfish kick at the moment. Could you go to counselling together or would you both find that demeaning? Is their a Christian marraige counselling group in your area that you could go to? Or even family counselling because your children must be upset and confused about this rift. It really does sound like you have both forgotten to communicate your feelings properly with each other; recriminations on both sides won't help you save your marraige but if you can swing it talking might.

This is going to be difficult for you, for all of you. Do you think she might feel inadequate herself? If the children are always with you- does she feel surplus to requirement? You both seem so angry with each other. God will help you both, he always does; but you have to start the process somewhere. Perhaps you could write her a letter, re-iterating how you feel, what you've done and why- ask if you can both meet without the children, perhaps not even in the house and talk about where you want to go from here. I don't know about burning your stuff, but getting rid of it is a very good idea; it will show you're serious. Perhaps you could even give it to her to dispose off instead, as a show of faith and trust? A big bunch of flowers is often a sweetener, but probably not a great idea at this time. She'll probably think you're insincere or you've done something wrong. Trips as a family might help, if she'll agree to them. Other than that I don't know what to suggest; keeping faith and praying will help keep you strong.

God Bless you all.

 

[heron]

i dont think you understand where im coming from. SHE doesnt spend time with the kids.

That was information not mentioned earlier; thank you for clarifying. Are you sure that she doesn't? I ask, because you wrote with great repentance in the OP, but when we made the suggestions you asked for, you added your frustrations with her.

Is she both working full time and in school? It sounds like both your schedules are putting a strain on things. Overambition works great before kids, but once they are in the picture, everything changes. It's not wrong -- it's just a natural consequence of taking on a lot.

There are plenty of parents who take on more than the average expectations. But risks come with consequences. Pushing beyond the norm causes the norm to be pushed out of whack. Nobody has done anything horrible, but you both notice that it's not working as you'd like it to.

If she's depressed she needs to see someone about it, depression makes you avoid situations that stress you out; leaves you blind to what you should be doing, feeling vulnerable alone and useless. It makes you think that you aren't needed and that your loved ones are better off without you.

So true. And it's hard to see that it's the depression talking. It takes a long time after having babies for most people to get back to normal, especially if kids don't sleep through the night for a few years. Sleep deprivation does a real number on the mind.

 

[fields316_2000]

nope she's not working and trying to go to school right now for the next semester. her friends graduated without her and of course that became my fault.
earlier this week we went to the movies together but thats about as far as it went., that and dinner.
the boys literally have been with me from when i'm off work until i sleep for the last 2 years. they've had a disconnect with her because she can't relate to them and they are too much at times..so she quits.

im focused on my walk with god at this time. she thinks i have an attitude or what ever but really i just dont care about anything that was so dramatic yesterday. im ready for that next step and sure i was selfish in the past but my prioritites are shifting. i've been serving god really hard so the boys can see that and be influenced to do that rather than MMA

she wont go to any doctor or counciler. she feels its all a waste of time. she quits easily