Dazed and Confused

[mgutie2002]

I really don't feel comfortable talking about my marriage and personal life like this. But the way I see, you don't know me or my husband. I don't know who to talk to. I don't want my friends to judge or misinterpret him, my parents would not apporve if they found out, his parents would be disappointed, and I can't bother my other family members with this.

I love my husband so much. And lately I have been having some issues, and it is not only with him. First off, my husband smokes marijauna almost everyday. However, he is a Christian and a loving husband. I have issues with this. I have threatened divorce in the past because of it. I have tried to approach the topic in several different ways. However, he does not seem to understand. Even though he says he does. It hurts me.

For example, tonight I was looking foward to spending some time with him. As soon as I got home, He was smoking. He smoked until it was time for him to go to sleep, which by the way was 9pm.

We are moving to Houston because he got a job promotion. I am excited for him because he really needed it. He is highly motivated and enthused. Another issue I am dealing with is my family.

I am so close to my family. My mom, brothers and sister live in NM. My dad lives in Lubbock. I currently live in Irving. I am already far away from them. I feel as if I am no longer apart of their lives. It hurts!!! Now that we are moving to Houston, I will be further away from them.

Lately I have been feeling depressed. Even my husband said that he has noticed a change in my personailty. I think that i am feeling like this because of the move, my family and husband. And for once, my job is not stressing me out .

I just need some advice, prayers or uplifting thoughts. Thanks

 

[sarah marie]

I think it was wise of you not to talk this out with family members. I may be wrong, but I've experienced the repercussions of doing that myself. One family member jumped to some very harsh conclusions about my husband during a time when our marriage was falling apart. I was ashamed that those conclusions were in part based on my one-sided venting. This is only my opinion and I have no idea how biblical it is, so take it as such.

His struggle with marijuana is just that: a struggle. I know it has an impact on you. I know it has an effect on your life. But it is his struggle. You cannot resolve it for him. You cannot talk him into changing it or talk him through it. You do have something even more powerful: Prayer! God can nag at him like no other human being and he doesn't have to be a believer for God to respond to your prayer.

I can't relate to any possible complicating factors relating to an addiction that is illegal, but I did surrender two battles I was trying to win for my husband. I turned it over to God through prayer and God won both battles. The burden and depression was lifted once I handed them over, long before the battles were won.

Your family is your husband. Your parents and siblings are your extended family. That being said, I understand wanting to be close to them in proximity, when you are already close to them through your shared history. If you nurture the feelings of hurt or longing, it will be a become a bigger hurt than it already is and has the potential to infect your marriage.

When Paul wrote Philippians, he was in a Roman prison. Despite his circumstance, he wrote to the church at Philippi that our joy comes from Christ, and is not dependant upon our circumstances. I hope that you will prayerfully read Philippians. I pray that God will turn your depression to joy through it.

I'm praying for you and your husband.

 

[mgutie2002]

Thank you so much for your input. I did not think of it like that. It is really going to change the way I think of the whole situation. You are absoutly right, in what you say.