Daughter is having some problems with modesty and attire, do you think this an appropriate punishmen

[Ambereyes12]

Okay, so my kids name name is Sam and she just currently 17, 18 in 2 months. she is a senior in high school.Like a lot of people her age she decided to try her first thong around eight months ago I didn't think it was that big of a deal at first, as I usually wear thongs for panty lines and comfort reasons. It wasn't until I got a call from her principle, saying that her 'exposed undergarment' was a distraction in gym class. I figured it was just peeking out from her pants on accident and the school was freaking out over nothing, as they tend to do. However, when she got home she told me she was totally aware that her thong was showing, and that that was part of 'her style.' Since then, I've watched her do things like leave the house with normal pants on, and 'adjust' herself so her thong is sticking out by the time she reaches her friends car.

This all came to a head when we were having dinner at an upscale resteraunt, and lo and behold once she noticed that our waiter was an attractive man out came her underwear. The waiter was like 30, this was the kind of night where you just have to tip extra because of how awkward everything is.

I flipped my lid when we got back because we don't get to go out to eat at fine nice places very often. I told her originally that she wasn't allowed to wear thongs at all.

After talking with her a little bit I decided that it is important she be able to make her own choices as she is almost 18, and I felt hypocritical because she called me out for having a thong on as I as admonishing her. But I made it clear to her that there was going to be some punishment in order for her display at dinner She shrugged it off, said it was her body and that was that. it wasn't a particulalry productive discussion.

And I just couldn't believe it, because to me whale tail is kind of trashy for everyday wear and died in like 2004, and yet here she is like she just walked out of a Brittany Spears video. How could I show her that having your thong out in a place where a hamburger costs 30 bucks isn't a good look? I'm not going to just not allow her to wear thongs at all: I want to respect her autonomy as a young woman, but on the other hand I can't have her causing trouble at school just because she's going through a phase: Here's what I came up with: last halloween the costume I bought came with a cheap-o g string. (I was only buying it for the accessories, the outfit was a small i'm sure). The same underwear has lived at the bottom of my drawer for the last few years. I figured that maybe I could solve the whole issue if she had underwear that simply couldn't be worn that high.

We're roughly the same size give or take 20 pounds, with a similar butt shape, so I tried the g string on. As i'd suspected, there was definintely no way to wear it above pants. Score one for mom. One the other hand, it was very distracting and was apparent with any amount of movement.

The next day, when she came home from school I gave her a choice: She could still wear a thong to school, but it would have to be the g-string.

She opted for the string the next day, and while i checked in with her about it we haven't had a chance to really talk it over. Part of me worries that this might not be the most effective route, part of me thinks that is she wanted to have a string up her ass that bad then have at thee.

What do ya'll think? Is it a fitting punishment? Do two thongs make a right?

 

[☦Marius☦]

Okay, so my kids name name is Sam and she just currently 17, 18 in 2 months. she is a senior in high school.Like a lot of people her age she decided to try her first thong around eight months ago I didn't think it was that big of a deal at first, as I usually wear thongs for panty lines and comfort reasons. It wasn't until I got a call from her principle, saying that her 'exposed undergarment' was a distraction in gym class. I figured it was just peeking out from her pants on accident and the school was freaking out over nothing, as they tend to do. However, when she got home she told me she was totally aware that her thong was showing, and that that was part of 'her style.' Since then, I've watched her do things like leave the house with normal pants on, and 'adjust' herself so her thong is sticking out by the time she reaches her friends car.

This all came to a head when we were having dinner at an upscale resteraunt, and lo and behold once she noticed that our waiter was an attractive man out came her underwear. The waiter was like 30, this was the kind of night where you just have to tip extra because of how awkward everything is.

I flipped my lid when we got back because we don't get to go out to eat at fine nice places very often. I told her originally that she wasn't allowed to wear thongs at all.

After talking with her a little bit I decided that it is important she be able to make her own choices as she is almost 18, and I felt hypocritical because she called me out for having a thong on as I as admonishing her. But I made it clear to her that there was going to be some punishment in order for her display at dinner She shrugged it off, said it was her body and that was that. it wasn't a particulalry productive discussion.

And I just couldn't believe it, because to me whale tail is kind of trashy for everyday wear and died in like 2004, and yet here she is like she just walked out of a Brittany Spears video. How could I show her that having your thong out in a place where a hamburger costs 30 bucks isn't a good look? I'm not going to just not allow her to wear thongs at all: I want to respect her autonomy as a young woman, but on the other hand I can't have her causing trouble at school just because she's going through a phase: Here's what I came up with: last halloween the costume I bought came with a cheap-o g string. (I was only buying it for the accessories, the outfit was a small i'm sure). The same underwear has lived at the bottom of my drawer for the last few years. I figured that maybe I could solve the whole issue if she had underwear that simply couldn't be worn that high.

We're roughly the same size give or take 20 pounds, with a similar butt shape, so I tried the g string on. As i'd suspected, there was definintely no way to wear it above pants. Score one for mom. One the other hand, it was very distracting and was apparent with any amount of movement.

The next day, when she came home from school I gave her a choice: She could still wear a thong to school, but it would have to be the g-string.

She opted for the string the next day, and while i checked in with her about it we haven't had a chance to really talk it over. Part of me worries that this might not be the most effective route, part of me thinks that is she wanted to have a string up her ass that bad then have at thee.

What do ya'll think? Is it a fitting punishment? Do two thongs make a right?

Was all that for a pun?

 

[R. Hartono]

My mama used to tell her children they can leave the home n live on the street if disobey her rule.

 

[Debp]

Is your daughter a Christian? If she is, hopefully she can understand this more. Perhaps you need to explain to her how the image she projects is really important. Showing her underwear in a provocative manner will only attract the wrong type of men.

Attracting wrong men will then most probably lead to marrying a wrong type of man or ending up as a single mother. And we all know what kind of heartache such relationships will bring. I think it's important to explain such things so she might use more judgment in how she conducts herself.

 

[Ambereyes12]

My mama used to tell her children they can leave the home n live on the street if disobey her rule.

Do you think that wearing thongs in general is an issue at her age, or just showing them off like that? And do you think the punishment is appropriate?

 

[JAM2b]

At her age, turning 18, legally you can't control what she does. She is responsible for her own choices. The days of directly punishing her are over.

However, you can control what you do and what you allow in your life and daily activities. If the way she dresses is offensive, you can refuse to allow her to go with you. You can refuse to allow her to participate in group activities unless she is dressed appropriately. If you are paying for her clothing or buying gifts, you chose what you are willing to pay for and what you are not. If she wants a kind of underwear that you don't approve of the way she uses, then tell her she has to pay for it with her own money. This can be applied to all behaviors, and is an acceptable way to deal with any adult.

I tell my sons that they can't come with me unless they wear certain clothes or take care of some hygiene. Sometimes if we are out somewhere I tell them we will go home. You can't punish kids forever, but you choose what you allow to happen in your home and your car, and where you are willing to go with someone or take them.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Probably old fashioned here.
Seeing thongs in public places
just doesn't seem right.

Maybe more important?
Sounds like your daughter may be throwing herself out there for the wolfs?

If she is sexually active she needs to take great precautions cuz there are truly some deadly diseases out there. Some young lives have been wrecked because of their hanky spanky.

M-Bob

 

[*LILAC]

Take the thongs all away and replace with granny panties. My house, my rules. If you can't abide, there will be consequences.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Take the thongs all away and replace with granny panties.

They come highly recommended up top the mountain. Some of these old boys up here would have a heart attack if they saw a thong!

Is that thing in season? If so I'm going to shoot me one of those.

M-Bob

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Take the thongs all away and replace with granny panties. My house, my rules. If you can't abide, there will be consequences.

GOOD, Scripturally I think something more
should have been 'done' in training all along so there would never have been a thong to start with - for anyone in the family.
"Raise up a child in the way they should go...."
by the time they are 17/ 18 years old is likely (frequently?) too late.....

 

[*LILAC]

GOOD, Scripturally I think something more
should have been 'done' in training all along so there would never have been a thong to start with - for anyone in the family.
"Raise up a child in the way they should go...."
by the time they are 17/ 18 years old is likely (frequently?) too late.....

Well, sure! As the OP admitted that she herself wears them, then it's not too much of a shocker should her daughter follow suit, tell her friends, friends might give her some "ideas" and then she does so out of peer pressure. It all goes round and round, yanno? But the OP hasn't been back since so who knows if the issue was ever resolved. (shrugs)

 

[JAM2b]

I personally don't think the type of underwear is a problem. How it is used can be.

But, like I said, she's practically grown. What can be done about her choices is limited to how the parents allow it in their presence.

 

[*LILAC]

That is true. But if she's going to continue acting like a petulant child, the parent still has to train her right.

 

[blackribbon]

My aunt corrected my cousin by wearing a similar outfit as teen whenever she was going to be seen by the teen's friends. Horrified her enough that my cousin started to pick more appropriate outfits. I'd just go out someplace with my daughter ... point out a good looking man and make a big deal about pulling my thong up to match the way she wears hers. At least she would have something to think about.

 

[homeofmew]

My parents complain I dress like a tom boy and i don't dress up enough.
If it's not one thing it's another.
My advice tell her how you feel other then that, there's really nothing you can do.

I come home with another pokemon t shirt when i was younger and my parents were like uhggg.