wasn't focused on marriage and was surprised when husband asked me to marry
on our second date, told him "never getting married" to which he said "never is a long time"
never thought my parent's marriage was good so wasn't one "dreaming of marriage"
why hasn't the OP responded after starting thread?
I am not fully sure if all this is directed toward me, sorry if I offended with what I said.....but dating is fully unnecessary and unbiblical. Yes, being single sucks. However, being with the wrong person would suck even more. It’s better to wait for high quality, than to settle for low quality out of loneliness.Then he has no business dating your daughter if she is still a minor. If she is an adult she needs to know how to handle herself. So what if he wants to 'score' she quickly tells him no and doesn't date him again. Most men can quickly tell the type of woman they are taking out on a date is. A woman gives off 'quick fling' or 'take home to mother' vibes. I am quite sure that divorcee was sending out signals that she was available for sex in contrast to a girl whose thoughts are more pure.
A man worthy of Christian woman is
First: A man of God
Two: Respectful and protective of her.
They may think about it but then should turn to God to repent and control themselves. If they are not mature enough to do so they have no business going out on a couples date and should be in a group.
As you yourself just prooved ^ Too young and too immature.
Age is not necessarily a good indicator of maturity either.
well lets analyze this, I asked people what are the reasons to date someone. Most say "to get to know someone." Well you can do that in a friendship, probably more accurately than you can in a dating relationship. What people are really trying to say is that they want a warm body to cuddle with, and instead of "knowing them" they desire to really "know them romantically." That is why people date. The third reason people date is "be claimed." I mean we are lonely, adam was lonely he wanted eve. He saw all the animals they were paired off male and female, and he is like ...."where is my female?" So people desire to be with someone. Well again the Bible does not validate "claiming someone" who is not your spouse. God does not see the dating aspect of relationships. There are very little if any verses on dating, however there are many verses on marriage. And I know why, it's because there are not physical benefits, no claim-ability or anything to dating someone. So there is no point. Why date someone you can't kiss? Why say ....this is my boyfriend, this is my fiance, this is my date......when God only sees marriage. According to God you are single still. It is wiser to avoid temptation all together and just stay friends, at least you know where the lines are. But as soon as you kiss, you have to start drawing boundaries, what types of kisses and where can I kiss and get away with it? Is making out, but not having sex sinful? And all these compromises come up. But again I ask you the question. Imagine you are being physical with someone elses spouse. That should scare you. Because you don't know if that is your spouse till you are married. That could be someone elses spouse.
sorry I am not going to reply to this here, but rather reply to it in another thread I started for the purpose of not derailing this thread further and for making a complete separate topic of it....That is your idea of dating. Did you not see our reasons for dating?
We do not feel that kind of attraction for our friends, this is why they are just friends not someone to date. Most times if a man is your friend as a woman you don't want to date him since you view him more like a brother -ick.
A person you date you should have an attraction towards, then if they are suitable you begin a courtship towards marriage.
The reason people date is to meet new people, find out if they have an attraction, will be just friends as well as learn how to date.
They are not someone else's spouse since neither one would be married.
I don't think there is anything wrong with a kiss goodnight. By that point in time you should be courting not dating. If you call him your 'boyfriend' you are also not dating, you are courting.
Of course there are few verses on dating, they didn't date, they had arranged marriages or a man saw a woman and asked her father for her hand in marriage and that was that.
This is not how it is now. These days it can be very difficult finding suitable men to even date let alone court, and if your answers are anything to go by, no wonder.
A Christian couple has plenty of verses on purity that they can read and follow and if he does not protect her purity then he is no man at all and most certainly not someone to court or marry.
I replied to your post here:That is your idea of dating. Did you not see our reasons for dating?
We do not feel that kind of attraction for our friends, this is why they are just friends not someone to date. Most times if a man is your friend as a woman you don't want to date him since you view him more like a brother -ick.
A person you date you should have an attraction towards, then if they are suitable you begin a courtship towards marriage.
The reason people date is to meet new people, find out if they have an attraction, will be just friends as well as learn how to date.
They are not someone else's spouse since neither one would be married.
I don't think there is anything wrong with a kiss goodnight. By that point in time you should be courting not dating. If you call him your 'boyfriend' you are also not dating, you are courting.
Of course there are few verses on dating, they didn't date, they had arranged marriages or a man saw a woman and asked her father for her hand in marriage and that was that.
This is not how it is now. These days it can be very difficult finding suitable men to even date let alone court, and if your answers are anything to go by, no wonder.
A Christian couple has plenty of verses on purity that they can read and follow and if he does not protect her purity then he is no man at all and most certainly not someone to court or marry.
It's kind of either/or, isn't it?She wants us to pay the bills and provide her a room and food but she wants to play being an adult and married life with her boyfriend when it suits. If she wants to say she is an adult and can make her own choices she should be ready to take on all the adult responsbilities and not pick and choose.
Good advice...Matthew 26:41
Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Get them both together and have conversation about it. Talk about avoiding temptation.
There's the sometimes perceived dilemma; does never mentioning any bc advice increase the possibility of an unplanned event materializing? The parent knows his or her young person.She also needs to know and I hope she already does that anytime she has sex even with birth control, she can get pregnant.
Sounds like they have well learned what's right.Hi Jolene22,
As a mom of a 19 year old and 22 year old (whom I have very close and transparent relationships with), I understand the dilemma you are in. Although we haven't been in your "exact" situation, I can tell you what I told our kids before they left for college in another state (which we were paying for in full). It might help you in principle. My conversation with regard to the choices they might make while there went something like this:
"(Son, Daughter), you're an adult now and about to embark on an "adult" life. As much as I wish I could "make you" do the right things, I can't. You are now responsible to Jesus for the things you do, whether good or bad, and you have the freedom to make whatever choices you want to make. That's between you and Jesus. I love you and will always love you unconditionally no matter what you decide to do in your life. But you need to know that "if" you choose to be a ding-dong and go the partying route - or if you decide to get caught up in a bunch of sinful things instead of focusing on school and your studies - we aren't going to pay for you to live that type of lifestyle. So "if" that's the choice you make, just know that you'll be on your own financially. You'll have to quit school and get a job to support yourself and your sinful choices. We're paying to send you to school to get an education, not for you to be a knucklehead."
Both kids got the message loud and clear. Our daughter graduated with her BA degree and our son is in his sophomore year.
Sounds like they have well learned what's right.
What do you think of bc advice? which was also part of @coffee4u's point, above.
I can follow and agree with all you say, yes.You misunderstand, I am not advocating that she get her daughter on BC or that she should encourage it. She should teach her daughters God's word and what God wants from her is purity and abstinence until marriage. People who say 'well she's an adult you can't tell her what to do" I disagree if she has a good relationship with her daughter they should sit down and talk about it. My daughter is also an adult and you can be sure that I gave her a list of verses about purity, gave her some truthful advice about how difficult it is for young men to remain pure, with advice about helping not hindering him with that. I also warned her ^ as above that any sexual activity can lead to pregnancy since I don't want her to be ignorant, but I will assume given what she said that she does plan to remain pure. I can only hope that our teaching, her relationship with God and her relationship with her boyfriend-who is also a Christian young man who also wants to remain pure will continue in this way.
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