Dating...

[Groovy]

I have been wondering what you guys think about dating.
Is it scriptural to date?

√Groovy

 

[soldout]

I have been wondering what you guys think about dating.
Is it scriptural to date?

√Groovy

Only if you live in a culture that does not have arranged marriges.

 

[rhema glory]

Well I personally am in favor of courting,but then again my op doesn't count for much since I'm married lol!

I think it's so romantic to have your first kiss at the altar
~Blessings

 

[New_Wineskin]

I have been wondering what you guys think about dating.
Is it scriptural to date?

√Groovy

Dating has several conotations . I think that dating today isn't considered as much about finding a mate as having a good time with no strings attached . I think that is a logical progression from what it has been . I don't recall anything in the Scriptures concerning it . I also only remember arranged marraiges . But , with respect to commands , outside of paying the father for the wife , I don't recall anything with respect the proper *method* for aquiring a mate .

 

[Bizzlebin Imperatoris]

It is fine to date if it is done with regards to scripture (purity of course). I favor arranged marriages, but dating can be wonderful if done in a loving and godly way

 

[JVD]

Is it scriptural to date?

No!

 

[Groovy]

No!

Please elaborate!

?Groovy

 

[New_Wineskin]

I have noticed two lines of thought when it comes to the term "is something scriptural" . One line of thought is : Do the Scriptures clearly forbid it . The other is : Do the Scriptures clearly permit it . According to the latter , using the internet is not Scriptural . The former is bad enough . The latter could cause one to pull their hair out .

 

[Fools Hope]

Well, you obviously have to date before you marry someone!

With many of my Christian friends, we're not allowed to until we're 16. But in my case, if someone were to ask me out today and I really liked them, my parents wouldn't mind if we went group dating. Being asked to a dance like homecoming is fine with them as well. But it's all a matter of what your parents say, in my opinion.

 

[Groovy]

Well, you obviously have to date before you marry someone!

Do you? My parents did not. It was not pre-arranged. (actually, it was by God!)
And they have been maried for 20 years (look how old I am) I am the second of five.
If you wan't me to tell you the story I will, but I am asking a specific question. The divorce rate is now over 50%, even in the Christian realm. I think dating has a lot to do with it.

√Groovy

 

[Duggie]

[Groovy]The divorce rate is now over 50%, even in the Christian realm. I think dating has a lot to do with it.

In what respect? Dating is a perfectly healthy and normal thing to do. Both my wife and I dated before we got married and it hasn't in any way been detremental to our marriage. Infact it's been quite the opposite. Did your parents just meet one day and decide to get married immediately? I assume they both knew each other well enough, prior to getting married? I guess it also depends upon how one defines dating, what does it mean to you? Young people especially will go out on dates with their peers, obviously we as Christians have to be very careful how we go about dating, but I see nothing wrong with it. Going out on dates is a great way to learn self confidence and how to interact with someone you really like. Dating is a right of passage that most kids go through and eventually can lead to a happy longlasting marriage.

 

[Blade]

In what respect? Dating is a perfectly healthy and normal thing to do. Both my wife and I dated before we got married and it hasn't in any way been detremental to our marriage. Infact it's been quite the opposite. Did your parents just meet one day and decide to get married immediately? I assume they both knew each other well enough, prior to getting married? I guess it also depends upon how one defines dating, what does it mean to you? Young people especially will go out on dates with their peers, obviously we as Christians have to be very careful how we go about dating, but I see nothing wrong with it. Going out on dates is a great way to learn self confidence and how to interact with someone you really like. Dating is a right of passage that most kids go through and eventually can lead to a happy longlasting marriage.

I agree Duggie. Me and my wife went out a few years before we got married. Now 20years later still here. Dating has nothing to do with divorce. It's not always 50/50 sometimes it's 100/0 so Jesus has to be at the front.

 

[JVD]

Do you? My parents did not. It was not pre-arranged. (actually, it was by God!)
And they have been maried for 20 years (look how old I am) I am the second of five.
If you wan't me to tell you the story I will, but I am asking a specific question. The divorce rate is now over 50%, even in the Christian realm. I think dating has a lot to do with it.

While the previous post uses a specific to prove a general, I believe a good case can be made that the above is true. It is obviously not the whole problem, but it is nevertheless part of the problem.

Dating...and I am talking about dating someone exclusively to the point that the couple thinks of themselves as a couple without previously discussing the possibility of marriage is emotional fraud.

One or the other of the couple is going to be hoping for marriage but in our society it is very common that the other half of the couple is not at all interested in a long term committment. At least not for the forseeable future. Not enought to openly discuss the possibility in an honest way.

This tends to cheapen the "ties that bind" so to speak. After a break-up or two...and the tears involved the couple learns that you can be emotionally bonded to a person and still break that relationship up. That tends to lead into a cheap marriage vow and and easy break-up in the future.

If we treated the courtship process with more honesty and seriousness I believe we would see more committment once the couple does get married.

 

[Simon_Templar]

I think the bible deals more with general principles of relationship and purity between men and women than it does with the specifics of mating rituals .

The biblical standards are that you don't fornicate or commit adultery, whats more that you avoid even (as much as you can) thoughts of such things. So, the question then, is does dating (or whatever cultural ritual you prefer) reinforce the biblical standards or work agains them. I'm personaly of the opinion that dating tends to put pressure on those trying to keep the biblical standards. If you are confident that it won't be a problem for you, then I don't think there is anything wrong with dating. People talk alot about courtship in some christian circles, which is really a modified and restricted form of dating. This works well for alot of people and tends to reinforce the biblical standards.

For alot of people dating is almost like a recreation. They don't have much intention of looking for a mate but basicly just date for the fun of it. I think this is probably a poor idea for a number of reasons. Anyway theres my two cents

 

[Groovy]

I think the bible deals more with general principles of relationship and purity between men and women than it does with the specifics of mating rituals .

The biblical standards are that you don't fornicate or commit adultery, whats more that you avoid even (as much as you can) thoughts of such things. So, the question then, is does dating (or whatever cultural ritual you prefer) reinforce the biblical standards or work agains them. I'm personaly of the opinion that dating tends to put pressure on those trying to keep the biblical standards. If you are confident that it won't be a problem for you, then I don't think there is anything wrong with dating. People talk alot about courtship in some christian circles, which is really a modified and restricted form of dating. This works well for alot of people and tends to reinforce the biblical standards.

For alot of people dating is almost like a recreation. They don't have much intention of looking for a mate but basicly just date for the fun of it. I think this is probably a poor idea for a number of reasons. Anyway theres my two cents

Simon says! Way to go! you nailed it!
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Much appreciation to everybody for their inputs.
√Groovy

 

[SOLDOUT4HIM]

My take on it:
Not a good idea. I have dated in the past, but never will again. Courting is lovely system. Dating can easily lead down a road one should not go down. The book "When God Writes Your Love Story" is wonderful. I think anyone who is unmarried (I am reading it now) should read it. My take on the physicallity of relationships is that if it leads you to lust you shouldn't do it and if its covered by a two piece bathing suit you shouldn't touch it.

 

[Crystal_Dawn]

Do you? My parents did not. It was not pre-arranged. (actually, it was by God!)
And they have been maried for 20 years (look how old I am) I am the second of five.
If you wan't me to tell you the story I will, but I am asking a specific question. The divorce rate is now over 50%, even in the Christian realm. I think dating has a lot to do with it.

It depends on how you define dating. I differenciate between courting and dating in this way. Dating is kinda a trial and error thing. You date this one for a while, if you don't like him/her move on to the next one and so on. Courting on the other hand is when a guy persues a girl who holds the qualities that he desires in a wife. And if the woman accepts the courtship she is also saying that he defines her ideals of a husband. Usually, this begins as a friendship. My suggestion is this (I have heard this from youth Pastors)....write down the qualities that you desire in a spouse. When that one person comes along, pray about it...if the Holy Spirit leads you to court her, do so. If at any point any of the qualities that you wrote down prove to not be present, move on. But if the Holy Spirit has truly led you and you have listened you will not be disappointed. God gives us the desires of our heart.