Dating

[guitarintro]

Moderators: If this is not the right forum, feel free to re-locate this.

The topic I would like to discuss about is dating.

I met this girl in university a few years ago and we hang out once in a while. We aren't dating at the moment, but most of the time, we hang out by ourselves since we don't have any mutual friends. Throughout the years I've known her, she seems to be someone who has good qualities, aside from a few bad ones. She cares about her family. And this is a huge thing in our society today. Most young adults seem to party and get drunk most of the time, but she isn't that type. She sleeps early and cares about her work, her schooling, etc. One of the weaknesses is that she sometimes uses God's name in vain, which is something I dislike. I don't want to judge and I understand we aren't perfect, but is just something that I could see her changing.

Why? She talked about how she was interested in coming to church with me. She understands I am a Christian. She also mentioned how her brother may become a Christian because of his girlfriend's Christian influence.

Should Christians only date other Christians? Should I only date her when she is a believer?

What are your thoughts on Christians and dating? I hope I didn't say anything wrong.

 

[Sketcher]

Well, you just don't know whether or not she's going to get saved. I'd hate for her to decide Christianity isn't for her and for your efforts to change her mind backfire, or for you to have to break up with her because of that.

 

[K9_Trainer]

Pray about it, it's between you, her and God.

She sounds like she might be curious about Christianity right now....Her brother's girlfriend and you are both Christians, and now her brother is leaning towards it too. That's probably having a lot of influence on her and she's probably wondering what it's all about. By all means take her to church with you and be the push she needs to get involved.

As for dating, just be patient and see where it goes. Just because somebody isn't Christian, it doesn't mean they don't have morals or values that most people associate with Christianity. You've already noticed that about her.

 

[unkern]

do not be unequally yoked, for what does a believer have with an unbeliever.

 

[guitarintro]

I thought about that Bible Verse as well, thanks.

A few years ago I did date a non-Christian and I broke up with her, mainly because of me.

I am wondering, is this a sin?

 

[Trashionista]

do not be unequally yoked, for what does a believer have with an unbeliever.

They can have quite a number of views on child-rearing, personal freedoms, politics, etc. in common.

 

[EspressoDuck]

A few years ago I did date a non-Christian and I broke up with her, mainly because of me.

I am wondering, is this a sin?

I don't think that it is a sin to date a non-believer. I think that it's a very very bad idea, though. I think that the part in the bible that talks about not being unequally yoked is one of those areas that is giving sound advice for a really good reason. However, I personally don't believe that it's a commandment. Obviously, dating (and possibly marrying) a non-believer holds serious implications. It's easier to pull someone down than it is to pull them up, and your girlfriend/spouse is going to have a heavy influence on you. It can run both ways, but 'missionary relationships' don't often end well. One person is going to end up changing/compromising their belief system, and it isn't always the non-believer.

I would say pray for her, be a good friend to her, and share Christ with her, but save yourself a lot of heartache and frustration by holding off on the dating part until you're sure that your beliefs line up in all the important places.

 

[JCFantasy23]

Moderators: If this is not the right forum, feel free to re-locate this.

The topic I would like to discuss about is dating.

I met this girl in university a few years ago and we hang out once in a while. We aren't dating at the moment, but most of the time, we hang out by ourselves since we don't have any mutual friends. Throughout the years I've known her, she seems to be someone who has good qualities, aside from a few bad ones. She cares about her family. And this is a huge thing in our society today. Most young adults seem to party and get drunk most of the time, but she isn't that type. She sleeps early and cares about her work, her schooling, etc. One of the weaknesses is that she sometimes uses God's name in vain, which is something I dislike. I don't want to judge and I understand we aren't perfect, but is just something that I could see her changing.

Why? She talked about how she was interested in coming to church with me. She understands I am a Christian. She also mentioned how her brother may become a Christian because of his girlfriend's Christian influence.

I am not saying I wish to date her at the moment, but I am just wondering. Should Christians only date other Christians? Should I only date her when she is a believer?

What are your thoughts on Christians and dating? I hope I didn't say anything wrong.

I think its only good to date other Christians, but usually that's because the others are not willing to change. In your situation I think it sounds promising, sounds like she is curious and willing to try it. God may even be calling you to help her find the faith, who knows? I think that is great she is interested about going to church with you and getting her foot in the door.

 

[guitarintro]

Thanks for the feedback. I realize having same beliefs would be ideal. In fact, I want to marry someone who is Christian. Does this sound weird though. I am the guy, but I actually want someone who knows a lot about religion and is willing to teach me. Reason I ask is because of this: Is there a Bible Verse that talks about how the guy needs to be the leader in the relationship or something? Personally, I think I need to be more educated in religion.

Anyways, I edited something in the original post. From the original post, I mentioned how I am not saying I wish to date her at the moment, but after realizing what I was thinking, I should probably say I am interested or curious.

 

[Shiversblood]

Yes you should date her you could bring her to christ.

 

[xcandiedkiss]

If she is accepting of Christianity and even willing to change for you, I do not really see it as a sin for you to date her. I would get to know her a little bit and really decide if you have true feelings for her before you start anything serious with her. Good luck!

 

[ryanb6]

I would not date. Continue to be an influence and try to lead her to Christ, but do not date.

 

[xcandiedkiss]

I agree with Shiversblood. And, I believe people can change, so maybe she will change for you. Give it a shot, what do you have to lose?

I used to be in a relationship where my boyfriend was not Christian, but overtime, as he got to experience my religion, he changed for me and became a complete supporter of it. Websites such as Christian Forums and LordsMessage really helped. When we went long distance, LordsMessage was actually a great way for us to keep in touch and really learn about ourselves and the Christian faith.

Hope I helped =)

 

[guitarintro]

There is something that has made me wonder for a while. If a Christian dated a non-Christian, is it forgivable?

 

[ryanb6]

It's forgivable.

 

[youthwalk]

There is something that has made me wonder for a while. If a Christian dated a non-Christian, is it forgivable?

It's forgivable.

What do you mean "is it forgivable?". By whom?
How is it a SIN to begin with?

 

[Ryanswife]

I think that christians should date other christians. Take her to church with you and introduce her to the word. Even if you two never date...you can at least share the message of salvation with her.

 

[ryanb6]

What do you mean "is it forgivable?". By whom?
How is it a SIN to begin with?

By God. unequally yoked? outside the will of God?

 

[Shiversblood]

God also said to minister to everyone. Who cares if she isn't fully Christian yet, perhaps God put him in her life on purpose as a way to bring her to Christ.

 

[ryanb6]

Nobody is saying not to minister.