Dating?

[cloudstrife007]

Okay, I'm 22 and to be honest, I've never actually looked for a girlfriend. I'm very quiet and never given the idea much thought until my friend spoke of his concern about it tonight. I'm being told of my lack of being proactive in the area of dating/finding myself a future partner.

- I'm totally confused about the concept of dating.
My friend terms dating as meaning meeting up with someone and trying to get to know that person to potentially become a bf/gf.
Some others consider dating as already being in a bf/gf relationship.

Is this something that is spoken about in the beginning of a relationship with the person ? "Hi, lets meet up, just as a date. Nothing serious yet. Just so that we can get to know each other."

I'm really clueless so please try to keep a straight face when reading my following questions.
Is the idea of dating a concept that's just socially normal whether Christian/non-Christian? Are girls okay with meeting up with a guy regularly on dates to get to know them better without having to be bf/gf? And I think this is going to be a very dumb question, but my uni lecturers always say there's no such thing as a dumb question. Does it always have to be the guy who's proactive with this sort of stuff???


Thanks for reading.

 

[Johnnz]

Don't worry about semantics. You should have male and female friends, and be free to go out with any of them as you wish. That is healthy and a good way to learn social and interpersonal skills. You will know when someone is becoming more special to you.

John
NZ

 

[ClausJohn]

I'm totally confused about the concept of dating.
My friend terms dating as meaning meeting up with someone and trying to get to know that person to potentially become a bf/gf.
Some others consider dating as already being in a bf/gf relationship.

As others have said before, labels are not important. I think i only had one actual "encounter" that could be classified as a "classical" date (setting the date, dinner, movie, going out for drinks), but i don't believe that there is some particular "formula" to follow when dating.

Is this something that is spoken about in the beginning of a relationship with the person ? "Hi, lets meet up, just as a date. Nothing serious yet. Just so that we can get to know each other."

My advice would be to skip any clarification where something is going or not going Just ask her out for some activity you enjoy (and what you think of she could enjoy as well). Dinner is always nice, as it usually sets a nice mood, gives you ample opportunity to talk and get to know each other and you can let it go on as long as you wish.

Is the idea of dating a concept that's just socially normal whether Christian/non-Christian?

My observations would point to "yes" on this one, although in this culture might play a bigger role than religion, actually.

Are girls okay with meeting up with a guy regularly on dates to get to know them better without having to be bf/gf?

In my experience, it does not take too terribly long to find out if someone suits you. But until that time, i suppose all people are happy to have opportunity to get to know each other without getting too involved right away.

Does it always have to be the guy who's proactive with this sort of stuff???

Definitely not Half my relationships didn't have me as the active part in the beginning. If a girl becomes interested in you she will likely takes steps to be around you as well. If you think she might be interested but doesn't do anything in that regard, you could (subtly ) lead a conversation in the direction of shyness or belief in "traditional" gender roles.