Dating ?

[Col303]

There is someone at church that I have been talking to and we are going out for lunch this week. I haven't been out on a date since before I was diagnosed two years ago.
Now I'm not saying that this is leading anywhere, it's just lunch, however it has brought up some questions for me.

Are there any opinons out there about when to tell someone you have bipolar disorder???

Thanks,
colleen

 

[cac]

There is someone at church that I have been talking to and we are going out for lunch this week. I haven't been out on a date since before I was diagnosed two years ago.
Now I'm not saying that this is leading anywhere, it's just lunch, however it has brought up some questions for me.

Are there any opinons out there about when to tell someone you have bipolar disorder???

Thanks,
colleen

This is one thing that I just dont know about to. It seems that alot of people are afraid of people with these diseases because they dont understand. If the person doesn't know you really that well you might want to let them get to know you a little before you tell them about it so they can see that you are really no threat to them, however if you have an episode around them, it seems to drive people away rather quickly most of the time. At leaste that was always my luck with girls. Relationships can be very difficult with this disease. Please though dont let my words discourage you, Just take it slow.

 

[youthwalk]

Good question. I was diagnosed when my bf and were already together.
I think that you should tell him when you feel comfortable. In that it's not something I'd share with a guy I just met and am interested in. You know what I mean?
Give it time and when it progresses to the point where you are both very open and comfortable with each other let him know. Or you could just wait until the time comes...I guess you'll know when the time is right.
Go with God on this one...that's how I approach my relationships,

Youthwalk

 

[wonderwaleye]

Dear Col303


Sometimes I think we become way to sensitive of our imperfections and forget we are just like many many folks with a problem.


The way I would handle it, is without accentuating it.
For example, at a lunch I would say:

" I need some water so I can take my bipolar meds. "

NO BIG THING, AND IT'S DONE.


Dear your still a whole body that has all the needs as anyone else. If this were to be a problem with them, you didn't need them in the first place.



Relax and enjoy your dinner with your new found friend


I'M SURE YOU WILL BE A LADY OF GRACE BECAUSE YOU REMEMBER:




XEven though you can't see Him, GOD is there!O
( click on the X and move to the O ) ( then feel who is around you ) steven

 

[youthwalk]

Very true. I've started being more open about it as well. I wrote an article for the campus newspaper. It isn't something to hide. It's something happening in your life...you really can't just cut that part out and act like it isn't there. That was a note to myself more than to you!

God bless,

 

[Col303]

"Sometimes I think we become way to sensitive of our imperfections and forget we are just like many many folks with a problem."


Just to clarify...by no means am I embarressed or feel like I am less because of my disorder. I am just very much aware of the bias and sterotypes that are out there. When I got out of the hospital I lost several friends within the church. It happens. That is why I try to crush those sterotypes when I get a chance.

 

[Alive again]

I have heard many different thoughts and opinions on this topic. Trust God to show you the right time. That is the best advice I can give. Pray about it. I think for each individual and situation there is a different answer. SOme of us are very comfortable and upfront about it, others choose to be quieter about it. No one's way is the right way for everyone.

I choose who and when I will disclose. There is stigma out there still, no mattter how much we know this is an illness, not a character fault or demon possesion. There are still those out there who believe these things.

I developed the manias late in life and was already married with children. I had experienced the depression for many years (since a child). I even chose who I would share the depression with.

Disclosure of an illness whether it be heart disease, diabetes or bipolar really it should all be the same, but it is not always so.

DO not let this discourage you, be yourself, for you are exactly the way God created you, you have gifts, strengths and much to offer any relationship.

Prayers for wisdom for you!

 

[Mskedi]

I think how and when you bring it up largely depends on where you are in the disorder itself. For example, do you frequently have manic episodes that you have to warn him about? Or are you on meds/in therapy that largely keep these things in check? Is it a part of your past that you think he has a right to know eventually, but isn't pertinent right now (that's my situation -- it came out rather early in our relationship, but it wasn't exactly first date material, nor was it necessary for it to be)?

You don't have to bare your soul on a lunch date.

 

[cac]

There is really good posting in here indeed, I agree also to never feel guilty about my disease, but it is a true disease you get just like heart disease or lung cancer. It's not a made up thing like some people out there in the world think. I will put it to you this way also, if it is the right person for you they will have understanding, just be yourself.

 

[angelkiss]

I have always been one to be up front about being bipolar and explaining what it's about. That way, if you struggle at some point and are seeing someone, they will know what to expect.
Of course, I've always been one who has the attitude of: They'll either accept me for who I am, or they can keep on walking.
I've heard my share of people tell me that all mental illnesses are over-rated. Hanging around me long enough has proved them wrong and given them a change of heart. Others have taken heed and really accepted it and tried to be understanding.

 

[Princess_of_Yahweh]

I think that it is always best to tell the person from the get go...that way you don't have to worry about it later
especially if the relationship becomes really strong!

Beth*