dating with past problems

[Lizzi4Christ]

I don't think it was wrong of you to let your fiance know that thinking of his past hurt you. Keeping any hurt inside is much worse in the long run. Communication is absolutely essential in a relationship, about both the good and bad things. If it was an issue to you, and something you had to deal with or struggle with, the Christian thing to do was tell him about it... and assuming you told him in a nonaccusing and honest manner.... you did the right thing.

You're right that there should be communication. But how is it going to help him? he made those decisions before. Is telling him really going to make him feel good? Is it going to be edifying for him? He can't change what he did. If he's repented, God's forgiven him. Why hurt him more?

 

[Sketcher]

But if she's got this bottled up inside, tries to get used to it and cannot get used to it and breaks it off later, it will hurt him worse.

 

[EmSchmem]

You're right that there should be communication. But how is it going to help him? he made those decisions before. Is telling him really going to make him feel good? Is it going to be edifying for him? He can't change what he did. If he's repented, God's forgiven him. Why hurt him more?

If she doesn't come at him in a judgemental manner, it's should be an issue. While I do NOt believe it is OK for us to hold the past against someone, we should be clear with them about how said past effects us. My husband is hurt that I did those becuase they DO effect our marriage. However, he never brings them up to throw it back in my face or make me feel like I have to pay for what I did. Then again I have a very special husband who does not think he is entitled to anymore than anyone else just becuase he managed to keep his man parts away from someone's woman parts.