I think it is fine to have friends of the opposite sex while separated. It is a healing type of thing because it helps you to stay grounded in the reality that all men ( or all women) are not evil. I think it is important to know that you can trust people still.
That being said, you have to be careful because you are lonely and vulnerable. An incredibly painful, dark, scary thing is happening in your life and honestly you DO NEED comfort and companionship. It just gets tricky because "just some comfort" can lead to some infatuation and inappropriate behavior.
It can truely and honestly start out innocent and before you know it, it turns into something else altogether. When we are hurting we can make some very bad choices in an effort to fix our pain, regardless of our strong resolves to not make those mistakes. When humans hurt, we mess up. I don't think it makes any of us bad; I just think it means that when we are miserable we try to grasp for anything that will help us feel better.
One thing that helped me was making friends here and on other Christian sites. There are sites for meeting people that allow you to join for the purpose of making friends and not just to look for the next Mr. or Mrs. Right. meetchristians.com and big church to name a couple.
My advice, keep it online for a while. Don't get close to new people in face to face relationship until you know you can handle any temptions that you may be faced with. Don't meet people in real life for the sake of allieviating lonliness or a broken heart. Meet them only when you know that you know that you know that you are meeting them because you have a healthy and stable mindset toward your friendship with them and they toward you.
Another tip would be if they are a person you know in real life, keep the interaction you have with them in public. Don't be alone with them no matter how much you trust them or how moral they seem to be. You never know when one thing will lead to another and when you are vulnerable it is more likely to happen, not intentionally; it just happens.
I'm speaking from experience. I was already divorced at the time, but I went out with a guy I had just met online because I was hurting and lonely. I thought we could chat over burgers, have some laughs and I could get some good hugs and comfort out of the deal...a nice distraction. He seemed nice enough. He was talking to me sweetly and was sympathetic toward my pain.
Before the end of the night my weakness got the better of me. I gave myself to him with the hopes that he would comfort me in return. At that point he had another idea: get some gratification and return me to my car. I never heard from him again.
That was almost a year ago. At the time I was embarrassed about it, ashamed. Not so much now. I mean, I fully realize what I did was wrong, but I also see the pain and desperation that was driving me. I was too weak to put myself in a position with a man like that. I had no business going out with him in the first place. I knew better. JohnDB warned me, too. I didn't listen because the most important thing to me on that day was to feel better.
