Dating the wrong way

[Runaway]

So like i said in another thread, i'm not sure how to REALLY move on or where to go from here. I'm 39 years old. And since i was married since we were teenagers, i have to say that trying to date as an adult is a lot different.
I feel guilty even. I do date, but i think i'm dating the wrong guys. And i don't know how to even be on a real date i don't think or in another relationship.
But three years is a long time and i feel like i should be able to do this.

 

[actionsub]

So like i said in another thread, i'm not sure how to REALLY move on or where to go from here. I'm 39 years old. And since i was married since we were teenagers, i have to say that trying to date as an adult is a lot different.
I feel guilty even. I do date, but i think i'm dating the wrong guys. And i don't know how to even be on a real date i don't think or in another relationship.
But three years is a long time and i feel like i should be able to do this.

Welcome back to adolescence! You may have grown older and wiser, but the institution of dating hasn't changed a bit!

When I got back in the pool, so to speak, after my divorce, the old games of "does she like me?" "will she think I'm a scrub?" etc. were still very much in existence. The only difference is that I knew they were head games this time.

After three years, you're probably now just reaching the state where you're actually ready to date. And you're going to make mistakes. You're going to go out with people who are just wrong for you. I ended up in a two-year off-and-on relationship with a somewhat toxic woman who was pursuing me...until I finally realized that there was no love on my part. At that point in the game, I was really beginning to think God wanted me single, and I was fine with it. I told her that...and she didn't take it real well.

I was very content with being single after that, for about two months. I went to church one night and a college friend whom I hadn't seen in about 15 years happened to be there, along with the woman who brought him. The friend and I talked for awhile, and then I started talking to the woman so she wouldn't be left out. We hit it off immediately. I did a little inquiring to make sure my friend wasn't dating her; he wasn't. I asked her out and five months later, I married her.

Hang in there, it can and will happen. Don't try to force the issue, it may make your situation even worse.

 

[Runaway]

Thanks for your reply!
Talk about head games....oh my word...i think i've seen it all now. And players. And liars.
I started thinking that guys out there now are "wolves" and that there will never be another man out there who will love
me like my husband did.
Dating is scary!!
I'm glad things worked out so well for you!

 

[dayhiker]

I've done a far amount of dating, but way more I go to meetup groups. That way I can get to know people at an activity with other people around that after a few meetups I know
quite a few people. Wither dancing or just out to eat, it doesn't mean we are in a relationship. I can go home and nothing is expected of me. Or I can plan to be at the
next meetup to get to know someone better and comment for a date later of I want.

Just one way to do it.