Dating status

[heatherq17]

seriously dating

 

[Maeyken]

What I find more amusing is the way some of these guys are getting married soon... Sascha tomorrow! (congrats girl!) and Maeyken (I think it would be the same man) in a few months!

Yup, same wonderful guy!! I was just thinking about how things had changed since the thread began! I can't wait to be married... 65 days! Woohoo!

 

[fieldmouse3]

Not dating...but, since I hope to date at some point, I like to read the threads in here to pick up information that might be useful in the future.

 

[lacedinlavender]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years (our anniversary is in May). We aren't "officially" engaged yet, although we are currently beginning to make small plans for our wedding, and we are hoping to be married as soon as August 12, 2006.

Jen

 

[Inperfected]

Wow thats very soon.....................

Seriously wait at little longer! Firstly we are young, n it doesn't help our chances....

Secondly, wedding planning brings out SO much about your fiance and his family that it's just NOT funny... You have to start ot deal with things you didn't expect to deal with for a long time...

 

[Mskedi]

I put seriously dating. We've been together almost two years, and will marry in another year or two.

 

[ahmunmun]

I was scared when I voted because I thought I would see that single people are minorities over here. Apparently not!

I really need prayer. I don't want to stay single forever. Please don't tell me that I will find someone. People say that to comfort me but it's not like anybody knows the future, so it's best not to set me up for disappointment. I've had guys pursue me, but not Christian guys. Even if they were Christians, I probably wouldn't be interested. So far, I've had only one guy from church pursue me but I wasn't interested in him either. I just haven't found someone who meets my expectations. I know the timing is wrong to date right now because I'm still in university (but close to graduating, hopefully). I just hope that God will provide me with someone. I don't want to be with someone whom isn't God-sent, because I believe that God will give me only the best!

Please pray.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that I've been giving advice to dating people over here, and surprisingly, a few people actually say I give good advice! This makes me really want to be in a courtship. I want to give my best to a guy. Hopefully, I can follow my own advice when I'm in a courtship!

 

[lacedinlavender]

Wow thats very soon.....................

Seriously wait at little longer! Firstly we are young, n it doesn't help our chances....

Secondly, wedding planning brings out SO much about your fiance and his family that it's just NOT funny... You have to start ot deal with things you didn't expect to deal with for a long time...

Yeah, it's soon, but that's what we want. We're eager and ready to begin our married life together. We've already been dating three years, and we simply don't want to wait any longer than we have to before we make that commitment to each other. We are praying about it and have been praying about it, so it's not like we're just jumping in. We've been discussing marriage for probably a year now.

I've seen my boyfriend and his family in many different seasons, so I know them all fairly well, and I know how they react to different situations. Plus, I want a small wedding--no frills, no fuss, just a church, a minister, a dress, my closest friends and family members, and of course my wonderful future husband.

Jen

 

[Inperfected]

Yes, hopefully you can! (me? I find it easier to give, than take my own...)

But honestly, I'm sorta going to say what you dont want to hear... If God wants it, you will get it. A great friend of mine is 29, but satisfied without a man.. I'm not saying she doesn't want one, sure as anything she does, but she's find with out it... This is the point you need to get to first... Be satisfied without a man first...

Also there is a book call "Boundries before marriage" and it's really good. (By Dr Cloud and Townsend or sumthing similar)... It's really good as it sets you up to work out your expectations and if they are good ones, and things that you haven't had that are needed, and the boundries in dating in an emotional sense...

Keep praying in general, not in relation to this, but just about life and everything... Keeping that contact with God is one of the only ways to ease that longing...

 

[Inperfected]

Ok last post was to ahmunmun..

lacedinlavender, still seems soon (just cos I've done it over 14 months and seen more than I could deal with in a shorter time (OK OK I remember now.. i went overseas for 3 months... and we only went out for 2.5 months..)) but I'm sure that you'll work...

2 things tho... No matter how good you are together, premarital counselling will help things once married... and secondly "Plus, I want a small wedding--no frills, no fuss, just a church, a minister, a dress, my closest friends and family members, and of course my wonderful future husband. "
I'd suggest checking witha few people on this one... Firstly his parents... secondly, yours.. Why you ask? Coz I first handedly know the frustrations of parents wanting to invite people or family members being "supposed to come" (our supposed to's add up to 80!!! Just check before you start totally envisiging it... it hurts so much when the things you wanted and have dreamt of get pulled down............ But I still get the dress I want!

Not hassling and thats a great date to do it girl.. You'll be great together... Just preparation is a good idea still...

 

[ahmunmun]

Um... Inperfected, is your post above a reply to me? If it is, I would like to comment on it. If it's to somebody else, then just ignore this.

 

[ahmunmun]

okay, you just cleared it up, so I will comment.

I'm glad you're being blunt, because that's better than promising me that God will find me a man when it's not His will.

Seriously though, I've asked God to take away my desire to get married and have children if it's His will that I remain single. I love Joshua Harris' I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Like you said, the book teaches us how God wants us to learn to be satisfied by His love alone. Then He will bring us someone.

In Boy Meets Girl, Joshua actually promises that we will find somebody. At the end of the book, he said that God wants to write a Boy Meets Girl story for you or something like that. That totally bothers me. I wish he could just be honest and say that some of us will stay single, although statistically, most of us will get married!

I also have some questions to people who are dating. Would it be appropriate to ask in this thread? I don't want to hijack...

 

[lacedinlavender]

Ok last post was to ahmunmun..

lacedinlavender, still seems soon (just cos I've done it over 14 months and seen more than I could deal with in a shorter time (OK OK I remember now.. i went overseas for 3 months... and we only went out for 2.5 months..)) but I'm sure that you'll work...

2 things tho... No matter how good you are together, premarital counselling will help things once married... and secondly "Plus, I want a small wedding--no frills, no fuss, just a church, a minister, a dress, my closest friends and family members, and of course my wonderful future husband. "
I'd suggest checking witha few people on this one... Firstly his parents... secondly, yours.. Why you ask? Coz I first handedly know the frustrations of parents wanting to invite people or family members being "supposed to come" (our supposed to's add up to 80!!! Just check before you start totally envisiging it... it hurts so much when the things you wanted and have dreamt of get pulled down............ But I still get the dress I want!

Not hassling and thats a great date to do it girl.. You'll be great together... Just preparation is a good idea still...

I truly do appreciate your advice. It's so wonderful to know that there are so many amazing people on here who are always willing to help you out. That's one thing I love about this place.

I know that wedding planning can be more of a hassle than what it's worth, which is partly why I do want a small wedding. I'm not worried about planning it in a short amount of time. My boyfriend and I have discussed it with our parents, who all agree that our wedding day is for us, they can suggest guests to invite, but ultimately it is up to us to decide on the final guest list. I am so thankful for that! I've heard so many horror stories of the bride and groom's parents trying to take control of everything, and I'm glad that our parents are basically leaving it up to us.

A long engagement isn't something I've ever wanted. It's right for some people, but for me, a short engagement (less than six months) is ideal. I don't want to be one of those couples who gets engaged and then sits on the promise for two or three or even more years. It's not the idea of being "engaged" or having the engagement ring that excites me--it's knowing that the man who will be my husband and I are planning to join our lives together as one that excites me.

Jen

 

[Inperfected]

Feel free to ask, and don't worry about hijacking... I dont' think you can realy hijack a thread that actually started in Oct 2004!

As for the book, Some of the theories are great, but it's unrealistic in some ways as well.. partly for the reasons you just decribed...

(I'm trying to be blunt without saying it in a wrong way.. I don't know you too well, so forgive me and correct me if i get it wrong)

I think there is a difference between asking God to take away the feelings and "actually" surrending the choice of being single or not to his will. Some practical suggestions are praising him, i/e/ you are walking down the street and you see a couple holding hands, the hurt hits, and you say "Thank you Jesus for letting me be single, I've got the choice of how long i want to spend in the shops i want" (Yup thats one thing I've surrendered!). Even if he doesn't take away the desire, you have to surrender it to him...

I've PMed you as well to ask you summin

Oh if this post looks bad forgive me.. I have a virus that pushes a key backwards....

 

[Inperfected]

Thats awesome then... I admit we were engaged for under 6 months then i left the country for 3.. then i returned and we had just over 6 to go... So I do understand in a way!

 

[ahmunmun]

I do agree with you about surrendering. I've faced situations where God wouldn't take feelings away until I do my best to resist them. That happened years ago when I had a crush on a non-Christian.

Anyway, like I said on the last page, please pray for me if you have time. (This is to anybody who's reading this.) Even though God might not give me someone, it doesn't hurt to ask.

I'll check my PM now. While this is an interesting topic, I'm going to step out for awhile. I have finals...

 

[Rin4Christ]

to the original post (I didn't read the whole tread) My bf and I are seriously dating. looking at engagement in the next few months and marriage about a year after that. He is ready to go buy a ring, but im a little cautious and not ready to quite jump in with both feet.

 

[seamonster]

I'd suggest checking witha few people on this one... Firstly his parents... secondly, yours.. Why you ask? Coz I first handedly know the frustrations of parents wanting to invite people or family members being "supposed to come" (our supposed to's add up to 80!!! Just check before you start totally envisiging it... it hurts so much when the things you wanted and have dreamt of get pulled down............ But I still get the dress I want!

A great solution to this is to 1) pay for the wedding yourself, so no one else gets a say, or 2) have a small wedding with a big reception later the same day OR a few months later, which is what we're doing.
I got my small wedding after a 2 month engagement, and my big reception will be in our 8th month of marriage.

 

[seamonster]

A long engagement isn't something I've ever wanted. It's right for some people, but for me, a short engagement (less than six months) is ideal. I don't want to be one of those couples who gets engaged and then sits on the promise for two or three or even more years. It's not the idea of being "engaged" or having the engagement ring that excites me--it's knowing that the man who will be my husband and I are planning to join our lives together as one that excites me.

I totally agree. It really doesn't take THAT long to plan a reception/wedding. The only thing that may take awhile is booking the location(s). Plus, with a shorter engagement there's a lot less temptation. I'm all for long dating and short engagements. By the time you get engaged you should be SURE that you're getting married, and all details/issues should be worked out. Your engagement should only be as long as it takes to plan the wedding.

 

[livin4thelord8]

I'm seriously dating. We both want to spend the rest of our lives together but both had horrible marriages. Well, his wasn't too bad until the end...mine was just horrible (at least I got two wonderful boys now). We're taking it slow and seeking God's will. I love the idea of making dinner for him, him helping me with everything, playing with the kids, working on building our ranch together, being together as a real, Christian family, etc...just love it! But want to make sure it's what God wants for us. I love him so very much and I feel God brought us together, but it's God's life, not mine so I want to be sure. God bless!!!