How do you feel about dating a person with children in your early 20s ,and how will your parents react ?
She said "Just remember, they are always going to be HIS kids".
ANYWAY, bottom line is if you date someone that has kids and it gets serious just always assure the kids that you don't want to take their mom's place (that's what I told my step kids). I told them I want my own place in their heart and if I can't have that, then I want no place, but I do not want to ever take their mom's place.
The problem is you will come second to the kids, thats not very healthy for a relationship since if you were the kids father with her it would not be that way, in that case the relationship would come before the kid (at least a healthy relationship). So the role reversal that takes place is not healthy.
Well that's not my experience. In fact when my step daughter was about 13 she was a real handful. We had an issue and she started screaming at me "why don't you just leave and get out of MY family!" and this was after we were married for about 14 years lol. So I told my husband about it, and he talked to her and told her that I was his wife and it was OUR family and that was how it was going to be. NOW she calls me at least once a week and is always appreciative of all I have taught her over the years. And even when my own sons would treat me bad (talking back etc) he would get right in their face and say "Hey, you are messing with my woman and she was my woman before she was your mom, and if you mess with her, your messing with me, so do you want to mess with me? and of course they would say no.
A good parent will know how to balance (and you wouldn't want to date a bad parent anyway, right) so it's really a matter if YOU can handle it, or want to. Some people don't want "other people's kids" and they (and you if you are one) shouldn't date people with kids if that's how they feel, regardless.
And even when my own sons would treat me bad (talking back etc) he would get right in their face and say "Hey, you are messing with my woman and she was my woman before she was your mom, and if you mess with her, your messing with me, so do you want to mess with me? and of course they would say no.
I'm probably more open to the idea too now than I was say at 20, but its something I would probably approach cautiously. I wouldn't want to meet his kid(s) and get attached unless I was certain the relationship was heading somewhere. And I'd probably be on the watch for possible drama with the mother. Not to say every single father and his kids have that drama, but it does happen. but kids alone wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me.