Dating Innocence Lost

[Fatolia]

As a biznaz man I've come to find that rejection is a part of daily life. Press releases get ignored. Emails and phone calls are never replied to. People say "maybe" and then you never hear from them again. It happens hundreds and hundreds of times a week...

So dating (whenever it does happen)...usually the girls ask me out...contains no fear of rejection. My goal is to have fun, but often if I have too much fun I find myself getting painfully attached to the girl way too quickly. It's my recognizable weakness. Therefore...

If we ever get to a second or third date and things start to get emotional between us, I get right down to business. I start trying to find out if we are compatible. If not, I'm not going to believe that I can change her and will ultimately make it explicit that we ought not to pursue anything romantic.

I understand that women are emotional when it comes to these kinds of things, so I try to be sensitive about it. But I'm thinking of changing my approach to be direct when it comes to intentions. That way I will protect myself from getting attached as well as not giving her a chance either. It's swift and brutal, but ultimately I think it's the better way.

I believe that a really awesome woman would rather have honest, open, sacrificial communication than be swept off her feet by some mystery man she hardly knows about but is enamored by.

What do you think about this approach? Have I flipped my lid and lost that 'dating' innocence?

 

[fishstix]

Being honest instead of playing games sounds like a good idea. Have you considered the 'being friends first' approach? That way you get to know each other even before the first official 'date' ever happens. You don't even really consider whether or not there is a romantic future until after you get to know the person really well - you just start off by making friends much like you would with another guy.

 

[Fatolia]

That would be preferable.

But it seems to me that many (not all) women my age are almost like zombies, obsessed with the hunt for prey (ie husband). If I don't seem like fresh meat (which I usually don't), then putting energy into me is perceived as a waste. Thus, single female friends are in short supply.
This is why most of my lady friends are already married, dating, or engaged. (Their husbands/bfs are cool with that, of course, 'cause they know my style). But I really don't have the option of getting to know them "too" well.

At my 20-somethings group, you can see a clear, crooked dividing line between the boys and girls....usually the ones that occupy the chairs separating the two sexes are the ones who are dating/married.