Dating: How to Turn Down Non-Christians??

[Aibrean]

No, you do turn them down because they aren't Christian. It's biblical advice.

Showing God's love does NOT mean you need to be in a relationship with them. Leading them on because you want them to be Christian is essentially the same as lying to them. It's very clear you shouldn't marry an unbeliever, why even try starting the process with one?

How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

 

[vesperluna]

Firstly, Pray.

God wants to discuss these things with you.

To me, Love is way more important that if they are currently believers since God may have this perfect person for you and you turn them down because they aren't Christian. Then that person misses out on seeing how awesome God is in your life and you miss out on an God blessed relationship with a Christan you adore.

Go with Love. God is love so go with love.

But for sure, Pray.

Thankyou for your thoughtful words, and I fully agree with you on prayer

But I think you're simplifying God by simply saying that He is love. He certainly is, but he is far more complex- for more than we could possibly comprehend. So to base a decision on the fact that God is love, would be basing it on one aspect of God's character, and would therefore beignoring all else that God is. The bible tells us that God is also truth, just, faithful, pure, righteous, merciful, etc, etc.

So with that being said, I think to "go with love because God is love" is an overly simplistic decision.

Dating non-christians could first of all lead us away from the Lord. The person you are in a relationship becomes the first most important person in your life, after your relationship with God. So naturally, it may be difficult to maintain a good relationship with God, while the person you are sharing your life with is not also in a relationship with God.

A Christian relationship works when two people centre their love and committment on their relationship with God together- both are looking towards Jesus:

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When one is not a Christian, one turns to Christ, while the other is not sharing in that relationship.

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When both are non-Christian, they each look their separe ways, and are both not part of God's family

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The bible paints a very clear picture of how marriage should look for Christians, for example, Ephesians 5:21-33. In this, both man and woman work together to serve the Lord, and their love is centered in their understanding of God's love. For how can we love if we don't know what it looks like? As you said, God is love. God showed us the greatest act of love: Jesus' death on the cross for our sins. This self-sacrificial love is not known to non-Christians, nor is God's structure for marraige.

If you go out with a non-Christian knowing this, you are running the risk or first of all being pulled away from your relationship with the Lord, but furthermore, the risk of the possibility that they may not become a christian. You are then left with 2 options: to have to break up with them, or to sin against God by marring them.

Sorry if I sound harsh, but this is important to me. And I find it so saddening when I see good, faithful Christians get into a relationship with a non-Christian and eventually lose sight of God. And I think many of the problems in marriage could be fixed if people held a biblical view of marriage, just like in Ephesians 5

 

[sbbqb7n16]

except i know some people who know the bible better than some christians so it isn't a real good test to be honest.

Then how do you know they aren't Christians? And if they don't, is that the type of man she is looking for anyways?

"I'm a Christian." - "Really? What's your favorite Bible verse?" - "Umm they're all pretty good. I don't really have a favorite." - "Well what's the last passage you read?" - "I don't know, I don't read the Bible much."

or - "really? okay, who was Abraham?" - "Uhhhh wasn't he the one who led the Bible people out of Egypt" ......... "really? okay, who was Moses?" - "He was Jesus' best friend"

That might be a problem even if he is a Christian and she's looking for someone more serious who knows what they believe.

As for a Bible-knowing non-believer:

"I'm a Christian." - "Really? What do you think about Jesus?" - "Oh he was a great guy. A good teacher. A great prophet." - "Do you think He was God in the flesh?" - "Well I don't know about all that..."

That's a problem too.


You have to test them somehow, cause like TwistedSketch and I are saying - guys that want you bad enough will try to play the part and fake it till they can make it. I think my test would work just fine for the vast majority of people you'll run into in a normal day. I just won't believe that every non-Christian also happens to be a Bible scholar. Few are. Most aren't.

If there is another legit reason how she knows he's not a Christian, that should be the reason she gives him as to why it won't work between them. And there is no need to test him over the Bible at that point, cause you already have your answer.