Dating and Devotions (this includes prayer!)

[mrcaphook]

Hello everyone,

For about two months now, my girlfriend and I have been doing devotions together. Before starting this, my girlfriend and I regularly prayed together (and still do!) It has been a tremendous blessing to both of us individually as well us together as a team. However, my girlfriend's youth pastor is highly against doing devotions together in a dating relationship. He claims that it is a gateway to physical sins. In contrast, I highly disagree. As I said before, it has been a blessing to each of us.

Anyway, I was wondering if any of you had opinions, comments, rebukes on this. I'd greatly appreciate it!

 

[Lbiagm]

i think it is fine.

 

[inrsoul]

I think it's an excellent idea. Whenever we have some quiet time together, I'll be praying over her. If you believe in taking Holy Communion on your own, you could take it with her. It's an awesome thing if you do it with God in mind! Keep at it!

 

[loved]

Well.............I'm not sure to be honest.

I think it IS important to have prayer in that area of your life, as you would with everything, and I think that it's important to base a relationship on the rock ie;Jesus.

HOWEVER I've changed my view slightly, because in my thinking (just mine, lol) is that as only a GIRLFRIEND , and not as a wife, I don't really have that right over my boyfriends life, to enter into a time with God with him.

But thats only what I've been recently. I used to want to pray with my SO, but lately I feel uncomfortable about it, because I think that until we have a commitment (marriage) then we need to concentrate on time with God alone.

Thoughts anyone???

 

[catch22]

I think so long as it's not your only time with God and that you still have individual time that it's a great idea. I'm not quite sure how spending time together with God could be a gateway to physical sin. eems like it'd have the opposite effect to me.

 

[hanaya]

I got the same thing from my youth pastor.
I'd just say be cautious, especially if you haven't been together very long, praying together initiates a level of intimacy into the relationship, and although it may not lead to something physical, it may cause other problems in the relationship. It may blind you to other things for instance.
Just be cautious and keep praying alone as well as together.

 

[plum]

oh my goodness... my prayer time with my boyfriend is absolutely key. God is blessing us greatly through that time in his presence. after all, our relationship is between Law, myself, AND God. Three people why not spend time with the third person?

but this how it works for US.... you know?

 

[Sam the Record Man]

I've heard the idea that the spiritual intimacy is something that can lead to other things. I personally disagree with it wholeheartedly. I think prayer and spending time together with God is what enables a relationship to maintain God-focused. some will argue that each individual maintaining their relationship with christ accomplishes that, however i would argue that two seperate relationships is much different than the 3-way relationship that was alluded to before.

if as christians we are to be giving our entire life over to God, should we not be doing the same with our relationships?? i am convinced that the best way to do this is through prayer and devotions..

if its a matter of not feeling comfortable praying out loud (i know a lot of ppl have problems with that), then why not start off by praying together, just not out loud. there is something for believers physically being together while they pray.

if you think that it could lead to other things, well, i disagree. but maybe investigate where your heart is at or maybe your intentions. or maybe im just wrong and it really is an issue, however i know that for me and my girlfriend it isnt.

I guess one amendment that i would make to what ive said is that i dont think it is apporpriate for all relationships. I think because it is something special and intimate it hsould be reserved for serious relationships, myself and my girlfriend didnt begin to pray together until i think 7 months into our relationship. and i think that was wise for us.

 

[inrsoul]

I've heard the idea that the spiritual intimacy is something that can lead to other things. I personally disagree with it wholeheartedly. I think prayer and spending time together with God is what enables a relationship to maintain God-focused. some will argue that each individual maintaining their relationship with christ accomplishes that, however i would argue that two seperate relationships is much different than the 3-way relationship that was alluded to before.

Amen to that brother! Spot on! It is exactly this spiritual intimacy, this God-seeking time of fellowship between a courting couple that will draw them closer to God and themselves. And I believe with all my heart, if Christ wasn't in the center of my relationship, it would have fallen apart a long time ago. Praise God!

 

[Lbiagm]

i agree with catch.

 

[Glorianna]

It's definitely a great idea! My fiance and I want to do a devotional that has something to do with preparing for marriage. Anyone have any ideas?

 

[flounder7786]

i think its a WONDERFUL idea. I view dating as dating with a purpose...and with the purpose of marriage in the end. My boyfriend and i are going through the book of James together, and when he comes back into town, we are going to do a relationship based bible study, probably talk to our pastor a bit, and get suggestions. I think its KEY for a relationships success...i mean, you dont have to do it in your bedroom or anything...go to starbucks...that way you're out in the open and any "alone temptation" is passed...and hey, if it brings you closer to God, together...whats the harm in that?

 

[Glorianna]

i think its a WONDERFUL idea. I view dating as dating with a purpose...and with the purpose of marriage in the end. My boyfriend and i are going through the book of James together, and when he comes back into town, we are going to do a relationship based bible study, probably talk to our pastor a bit, and get suggestions. I think its KEY for a relationships success...i mean, you dont have to do it in your bedroom or anything...go to starbucks...that way you're out in the open and any "alone temptation" is passed...and hey, if it brings you closer to God, together...whats the harm in that?

I definitely agree with you. I also see dating as purposeful- with the intent to see if marriage will work. And doing devotionals together is essential to a good relationship.

 

[bliz]

HOWEVER I've changed my view slightly, because in my thinking (just mine, lol) is that as only a GIRLFRIEND , and not as a wife, I don't really have that right over my boyfriends life, to enter into a time with God with him.

But thats only what I've been recently. I used to want to pray with my SO, but lately I feel uncomfortable about it, because I think that until we have a commitment (marriage) then we need to concentrate on time with God alone.

Thoughts anyone???

First, I will gladly pray with any Christian (or anyone for that matter) that would ask me to, or agree when I asked them. I would hope that would be true of any Christian. So why would you hesitate to pray with a boyfriend or girlfriend? Prayer together as a couple doe not replace time alone with God; thi is additional time with God together.

I'm sure that somewhere, under the guise of Bible study, devotions and prayer time together there are young people who are into some serious and highly inappropriate physical activities. I suppose that's why some pastor may see a red flag, but frankly, I don't. Couples who just want to mess around can and will do so anyway.

 

[Glorianna]

I can see why someone might be scared to pray with his/her girlfriend/boyfriend. A lot of youth pastors say how bad it is to pray with your boyfriend or girlfriend because of the temptations that can result. But I think it is actually best to pray with them. Just be really careful!

 

[Slippy]

I don't have a girlfriend and most likly will not for a good while, but I think that praying together is abouslty 100 % right and god don't accept it, he honours it. If your youthpastor says this, you need to question why and give your point of view, not just say ... ok ... and thanks for briniging this topic up as I think it is a thing that all couples need to do, even if you are not married.

 

[Glorianna]

Definitely. All couples need to do it, even when they're not married. I agree.

 

[tinkerbell]

I think it's a good thing but I think that that area, like all other areas, should grow and mature over time. For example, as the relationship gets on, you will grow and mature together physically, emotionally, interpersonally, etc. That's good, that's how things should be. And, just like if emotional or physical things progress too quickly, you can find your relationship to be in a bad way, the same is true of spiritual things. Having a really strong spiritual relationship early on may give the illusion of a really strong, really healthy relationship, that is not that at all. I believe that God should be the foundation of ANY relationship, and I think he should be shared. Just remember to guard that intamate time with God. I think prayer is great in a realtionship, I even think Bible studies are good, but this is an example (not at all a must, or even in this order) on how a relationship might progress spiritually.
1) Lifting each other up in prayer daily
2)praying together occasionally,
3) praying together regularly,
4) sharing personal prayer requestes
5) enjoying group Bible studies together with friends,
6) Having occasional personal Bible studies together
7) Daily Bible studies/ devotions together

 

[MagicStar723]

I think it is wonderful. My bf and I pray together and we are totally focused on God and building our relationship with Him both together and seperate. However, I think it is a bit serious if you aren't planning marriage.

 

[Glorianna]

Personally, any time I go out with a guy, it's with marriage in mind. I've only had to date one guy, but that's beside the point! I don't understand why people would date someone if they didn't see potential for marriage. So I would definitely study the Bible with any guy I date.