Dating A Non-Tither

[lovein17]

Hello I'm new here. I've been dating a guy for about 5 months. In the beginning i learned he is a christian but doesn't go to church. He prefers online streaming. Which doesn't bother me much because my family is that way and I don't go every weekend. As time has gone on i found out he doesn't believe in tithing and has not been baptized. He has gone to church with me and enjoyed it. I go to church on Saturday. He is open to day of worship. However I hate that I didn't realize the baptize and tithe issue until after falling for him. I don't think we could marry if he doesn't tithe and hasn't been baptized and he is in his 30s. What would this say to future kids? Fundamentally he believes other things. He's a really great guy and has treated me the best out of everyone I've dated over years. Should this be a deal breaker or should i just expect if we get married I will control the religious beliefs among children. Is it worth discussing or would you just end it if you're both Christians but differ on some aspects. He is non-denominational i'm SDA. thanks

 

[Lulav]

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[overcomer]

I think you know the answer. Paul advised against being unequally yoked. This only plants seeds of trouble down the road.

If he's open to learning about your beliefs and be baptized, then you can wait for these things to happen first if you see evidence of him acting upon it.

Tithing is just one Of outward expression of obedience. When a person is born again, all these things (obedience) become natural.

 

[bloodygrace]

There is not a single verse in the entire NT that says believers have to give ten percent of their income to the church. There are verses in the OT but were applicable to Israel when she was an agrarian nation still bringing crops and livestock to the temple. Now does this mean we shouldn't support our church? Of course not but the amount we give is purely up to the giver who gives out of a grateful heart and never to receive a blessing. We can't buy God's blessing and those who think they can will end up losing it.

 

[Dave-W]

There is not a single verse in the entire NT that says believers have to give ten percent of their income to the church.

That is true.

. There are verses in the OT but were applicable to Israel when she was an agrarian nation still bringing crops and livestock to the temple.

Also true. But to say that it is no longer applicable is to misunderstand how Suserain covenants were modified or replaced in the ancient Near East. (and modern scholarship shows that what occurred on Sinai between God and Israel constituted a Suserain covenant.

In that type of covenant (between a supreme king and lesser vassal kings/kingdoms) when it is changed, UNLESS specifically changed or canceled, the provisions of the previous remain in the new.

 

[dysert]

I would exercise caution. While it's true that the NT does not command that Christians tithe, it seems to be in your blood, so it might be a point of contention. I'd be more concerned about his lack of baptism. Jesus did command his followers to become baptized. Does your bf know this? Is he refusing to be obedient, or does he just need a nudge?

Don't rush things. I would bring these items up to him and say that they're important to you (and in the case of baptism, it's commanded) to get his take on them. Marriage is hard enough even when you're both on the same page, spiritually speaking. I would advise not getting in any deeper until you have resolved these issues.

 

[Dave-W]

Jesus did command his followers to become baptized.

Actually that is not true. The command concerning baptism is NOT addressed to the new believer; rather it is incumbent on the evangelist.

Matt 28.19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,

 

[DarthNeo]

There is not a single verse in the entire NT that says believers have to give ten percent of their income to the church. There are verses in the OT but were applicable to Israel when she was an agrarian nation still bringing crops and livestock to the temple. Now does this mean we shouldn't support our church? Of course not but the amount we give is purely up to the giver who gives out of a grateful heart and never to receive a blessing. We can't buy God's blessing and those who think they can will end up losing it.

I agree 100% with your post!

I would be more concerned about someone not being baptized that tithing. However, NEITHER are salvation issues, but submission to the Holy Spirit issues. I would definitely have some heart to heart talks about it before abruptly ending the relationship...

 

[bloodygrace]

That is true.

Also true. But to say that it is no longer applicable is to misunderstand how Suserain covenants were modified or replaced in the ancient Near East. (and modern scholarship shows that what occurred on Sinai between God and Israel constituted a Suserain covenant.

In that type of covenant (between a supreme king and lesser vassal kings/kingdoms) when it is changed, UNLESS specifically changed or canceled, the provisions of the previous remain in the new.

Alright, you can bring ten percent of your crops and livestock to the church. Make sure you bring a pooper-scooper with you.

 

[Dave-W]

Since my "increase" is monetary instead of agricultural, I give 10% based on that. (read the Law on bringing the tithe if you live too far away from Jerusalem)

 

[bloodygrace]

Since my "increase" is monetary instead of agricultural, I give 10% based on that. (read the Law on bringing the tithe if you live too far away from Jerusalem)

I don't support churches who don't preach the gospel so I would give zero to most churches today. Remember the best con-men are not out in the world they are in the church preaching a gospel that cannot save and fleecing the sheep for every dollar they can....just a disgrace to grace. SDA take the tithe right out of the paychecks of those who work for the church like a tax deduction so they don't even have a choice in the matter. SDA are gonna get their money like some kind religious gangsters who come knockin' on your door if you don't pay up.

 

[Dave-W]

I don't support churches who don't preach the gospel so I would give zero to most churches today.

That is your choice. (freedom of choice)

Besides, the ministers/pastors are not necessarily supposed to preach the gospel in the church. In my experience Evangelists make poor pastors.

 

[bloodygrace]

That is your choice. (freedom of choice)

Besides, the ministers/pastors are not necessarily supposed to preach the gospel in the church. In my experience Evangelists make poor pastors.

There is no verse in the new testament that requires believers to give ten percent of their income to support the church. Under the new covenant God blesses us before we give so any giving on our part is out of gratitude and never to receive a blessing. I know so many Christians who think that God will bless them because they give and it doesn't work like that. Money is the currency of the world. Works are often the currency of the church. Faith is the currency of heaven where God's blessing is directly proportional to the amount of faith we have and never the amount of money we give to the church.

 

[Dave-W]

There is no verse in the new testament that requires believers to give ten percent of their income to support the church.

I have already agreed with that.

o any giving on our part is out of gratitude and never to receive a blessing.

I also agree with this as well.

. I know so many Christians who think that God will bless them because they give and it doesn't work like that.

Which means they are worshiping the god Mammon (ancient Syrian "god" of wealth) instead of the God of the Bible. "you cannot serve both God and mammon."

Money is the currency of the world.
Works are often the currency of the church.
Faith is the currency of heaven

Where do you fit Covenant into that?