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Dating a non-Christian

19ana89

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So, I've been dating this guy since September of last year. He's nice, and a gentleman. But, he's not a Christian, nor does he not believe in God either. I guess its safe to say he's confused, and not sure what to really believe. He says sometimes he believes and in other times, not so much. I don't want to push the issue, because I know that can push a person further from God. What is a good way to explain things without freaking him out, or pushing him away from God?
 

apmercer

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It's a sin for a Christian to marry a non-Christian. (If someone becomes a Christian and the person's spouse is a non-Christian they should stay married together).

Stop dating him.

If he becomes a Christian do not date him unless you know that he is on the same spiritual level as you.

Go to female church elders for advice.
 
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dayhiker

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I assume you want to explain how important God is to you. I don't know if there is a way other than just telling him. I've seen that be the thing that got the other person to think seriously about God that lead to them coming to God and I've seen it be the thing that ended the relationship.
 
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19ana89

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Well, we're no where near ready for marriage, I'm just saying he seems to be confused. He's not an atheist he just doesn't know what he believes. We get to talk religion once in a while, but I don't want to do it so much to the point where it would push him further away from God.
 
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Sketcher

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Well, we're no where near ready for marriage, I'm just saying he seems to be confused. He's not an atheist he just doesn't know what he believes. We get to talk religion once in a while, but I don't want to do it so much to the point where it would push him further away from God.

If you want to witness to somebody, you pray for that person consistently.

But if marrying him is not in the cards at all, why are you dating him?

Also, why are you trying to change someone that you're dating? Witnessing may be the absolute best version of that, but he'll likely see it as you trying to change him into someone worthy of you. And technically speaking, he'd be right.
 
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Josie Adams

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I think you should pray for the leading of the Holy Spirit in this. While it is unwise to be with a non-Christian you must be open to God using you in this. Only God can give you the right words at the right time.

Or he may not use you at all! I was married when I came to faith and my husband didn't believe. It was pretty tough. But in the end it was others rather than anything I said that led him to Christ.

Praying for God's prefect will in your life!
 
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19ana89

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It's not that marriage isn't in the cards at all, I'm just saying that we just started dating and are no where near ready for it yet. Perhaps in a couple years, just not now. And I'm not trying to force him to Christ, that would make things worse. We only talk about it every once in a while. And it does help that he isn't an atheist. He just doesn't know what to believe.
 
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JojotheBeloved

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If you're asking how to introduce the subject or how to share your faith... that depends on who you are and who he is. If it's forced, it may not do much good, because like you've admitted and others have suggested it may feel to him like you're forcing religion on him rather than sharing something that is beneficial to you. I haven't dated anyone who wasn't Christian, so I'm not really sure how to respond to that part of your situation, but I'll share what I think regarding witnessing and you can take it as you like.

When I'm witnessing to people I know personally, I usually take it slow. I don't introduce the subject, except as it comes naturally to me. I am a Christian. I don't in any way hide from that fact or the convictions and beliefs I hold because I follow Christ. I am very open with that, because it is a very significant part of who I am. But I don't often talk about it in a way of trying to convince others to be the same way. I share in casual conversation. For example, at work there's a lot of gossip sometimes. Whenever my co-workers try to get me in on it, I simply say that I am not a fan of gossip and would prefer to think and speak kind things instead. If they ask why, than I have an opportunity to share deeper. If not, they still identify me with Christian values. I have actually had several co-workers ask me what I believe and than I have taken the opportunity to share with them. In those instances, I try as much as possible, to share Jesus first. To share not just who He is, but who He is to ME. Why I care. How He benefits my life and gives me hope for the future.

So I guess the best advice I could give is, just be yourself. Don't hide who you are. Be open with your beliefs as they apply to you and how you view the world around you. Stay connected with Christ and with your faith community. Don't hide for fear that you'll push him away from God or from you. You don't have to be confrontational about it, but don't hide it. The best relationships are based in mutual availability and trust. Whether or not he's a Christian, if you can't trust him with who you are than the relationship won't work out. Likewise, if he can't trust you with who he is the same applies. Just show him Christ's love for you. Christ has a way of drawing people to Himself. Don't worry about convincing him, because that is not your job. Your job is to be open, to be yourself, to follow Christ no matter what. The Holy Spirit of Christ has the job to change hearts.
 
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Sammy-San

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It's a sin for a Christian to marry a non-Christian. (If someone becomes a Christian and the person's spouse is a non-Christian they should stay married together).

Stop dating him.

If he becomes a Christian do not date him unless you know that he is on the same spiritual level as you.

Go to female church elders for advice.

I do not believe it is a sin, but it is not the most wise, ideal, or beneficial choice. Unequally Yoked
 
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Abigale

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So, I've been dating this guy since September of last year. He's nice, and a gentleman. But, he's not a Christian, nor does he not believe in God either. I guess its safe to say he's confused, and not sure what to really believe. He says sometimes he believes and in other times, not so much. I don't want to push the issue, because I know that can push a person further from God. What is a good way to explain things without freaking him out, or pushing him away from God?

Hiya, I have somewhat of the same problem, For the last three months...I have been in a relationship with this guy, he seems wonderful and tells me he loves me but I have concerns about being with a non believer. I have strong feelings too, but its sad to know they have to be obliterated due to differentiating beliefs, I have suggested the idea of bringing him along to church and he has seemed very optimistic about it which is a relief - as past experiences with atheists didn't go too great. However, my parents have expressed their concerns with my choice, I feel guilty as I do not want to compromise, however I would be very sad and upset to just stop this entirely, I have had so many conflicting emotions recently it is becoming rather stressful and don't know what to do, so hopefully there might be some answers on here...I have tried to suppress my doubts but am scared that I might not be able to be in the Kingdom of God due to my choices, I feel I can witness to him but at the back of my mind feel as he is agreeable due to his feelings toward me, so trying to change him would be not genuine. In a few months I will be eighteen, so marriage isn't something I am strongly considering a the moment, as I am a teen.

I am looking forward to hearing some answers, thank you x
 
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