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Dating, 3 Year Difference

lawtonfogle

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Apr 20, 2005
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I recommend not having sex with her at this point in your lives. For one thing, your icon shows you are a Christian and I think that most Christians would say pre-marital sex is to be avoided. Also, you're not sure if the consent laws in your area and it could result in your being arrested and convicted. If convicted, you might be subject to things like having to register as a sex offender, meaning when you apply for jobs or buy a house, it'll interfere with your opportunities. Even if there aren't any legal issues, your relationship with her parents, your parents and other people might deteriorate. Her parents might be fine with the two of you dating but uncomfortable or angry about you moving into a physical relationship with their young daughter. You could be looked down upon by others who suspect your motives for dating a younger girl.

Plus, you know, at your ages you're probably not ready to deal with the consequences of sex. At fifteen, she's probably not prepared to make decisions about birth control methods and might feel uncomfortable going to a gynaecologist or clinic for examinations and information. Neither of you probably have money to cover more reliable methods of birth control like Nuva Ring, pills like Yaz or Depo-Provera (it's better to combine methods, like pills and foam and condoms). You may also not have money for necessary emergency measures; I think all sexually active couples who aren't ready for children should have Plan B or know exactly how to get it within 24 hours of sex in cases where the birth control failed or was forgotten. Are you both responsible enough to guarantee you'll use reliable birth control each time, every time, regardless of how passionate or hurried the moment is, or where you are (like in a car or hotel)? She's probably not emotionally ready to deal with a pregnancy scare or an actual pregnancy, which can result even if you use a number of birth control devices.
You do realized that at least half of college students already don't meet you definition of ready to have sex. Granted, I agree that one should be mature enough to do the above before having sex, but that is a higher standard than what people are held too by society itself, at least once they get to college.
 
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lawtonfogle

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Don't be stupid. This girl basically wants to ruin your life, and she's more than capable of doing it. You're almost 18? Then handle this like an adult, and get out. Do you want to tell every neighbor you ever have for the rest of your life that you're a child molester?

So, given what you know so far, is the girl better off with this guy, or with the average guy who is legal for her to date and have sex with? From what I remember of guys around those times, the few things this guy has said already put him a cut above the rest, yet here we have the law destroying a relationship that is probably more beneficial for the girl than the average relationship with some guy her age who only wants 'to score'?
 
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theblackcat

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You do realized that at least half of college students already don't meet you definition of ready to have sex.
Granted, I agree that one should be mature enough to do the above before having sex, but that is a higher standard than what people are held too by society itself, at least once they get to college.

Yes, I know it's quite common to have sex either without protection at all or with minimal protection that's often incorrectly used, and I know lots of couples are pretty ignorant about the kinds of emotional issues and stress that might result from becoming sexually active. I also know lots of people don't consider how the choice to have sex will impact their everyday lives, such as the kinds of medical care they'll need or what it will cost to protect themselves. I'm not advocating a law or anything saying people have to do those things before they have sex, just giving my advice. I'd give the same advice to people much older than myself, since lots of people I know who are way older than me are just as unprepared. I don't know if you read my earlier post in this thread, where I mentioned I was dating someone significantly older than me. He's the one who has really informed me about the kinds of things I need to consider before we move into a physical relationship. I'm grateful for it, it's a good standard. I'd rather not end up with the problems I see others facing due to their lack of preparedness, and it would be good if this couple doesn't have to go through that, either. :)
 
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wanderingone

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I didn't start dating her to get in her pants. :p And there's no way I would ever leave her for something as silly as a three year age difference. We have too good of a relationship. We get along quite well and she's very mature for her age. As for her parents, they like me.


If you'd never leave her for something as silly as a 3 year age difference then why ask your initial question?
 
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