Dates and Paying

Tamara224 · Feb 27, 2009

Historia said:
I'm honestly not even sure what the right way to phrase it is. This whole issue/topic makes my head spin.

Yeah, it's tricky. I've pretty much given up on it, myself... But I try to pay attention to his body language and stuff to see if he is wanting me to offer to pay my half (I haven't seen it yet). The last guy I went on a date with made a big point of telling me "this is my treat, just so you know."

I just make a point of thanking the guy as graciously as I can.

TinkerTot · Feb 27, 2009

deliciousBass said:
If I went out on a date with a girl that I liked and she offered to pay, it would make me a little sad and make me think that she doesn't like me all that much.

Aww that just makes me feel bad... I always offer to pay lol. I mean now if he comes and picks me up and does the whole nine yards I am hoping he will pay but I am always prepared. Now if we're just meeting for drinks or something and hanging out I will pay for my own unless he picks up the check before me. hehe

JennyKatz · Feb 27, 2009

20MoreMiles said:
Why am i worth Jane's time, but not her money? Why does Jane not pay for my dinner? Explain this to me. And don't come with the "because you asked her out" stuff, because men ALWAYS ask the women out (except for the guys with no cojones who don't dare). Like i said before, would it be fair if us men said "Well you asked me to go shopping with me, so you pay for everything i get" ?

And no, the one who asks the other out for a date is not "responsible" for transportation, funding, etc. Geez, you make it sound like i'm on a date with a baby! A grown up woman can take care of her own transportation and funding. When i ask a girl out, it means i would like to get to know her better, and when she agrees, she agrees to just that, not to me being her sugar daddy.

I know of plenty of dates that were initiated by the lady. In that case, yes, I would expect that the lady would offer to pay. It goes both ways. And simply because a date is initiated by a lady does not automatically indicate a shortcoming on the part of the man. If there's a monetary issue (as might be possible in today's lovely economic climate) plan a low-cost or no-cost date.
And, yes, I do believe that whoever intiates the date should be prepared to provide logistical support for the date. Not that they must, but that they're willing to do so, if necessary. Say you ask Susie out and Susie's car is in the shop. Are you going to say "Sorry, chickie, better take the bus to Applebee's. See you there?" Or would you just cancel the date until her car is fixed?
And I doubt anybody would view someone giving the other a car ride or paying for a date as being a sugar daddy. Unless they gave the car to the girl or brought her diamond earrings instead of flowers.

Peacemonger · Feb 27, 2009

The girl should always pay. It's very ladylike. How else am I gonna know if she's fit for the job?

If you cannot detect sarcasm, please learn how.

Redstiletto · Feb 27, 2009

Peacemonger said:
The girl should always pay. It's very ladylike. How else am I gonna know if she's fit for the job?

If you cannot detect sarcasm, please learn how.

LOL! I loved this! Thanks!!!!!!

paul123 · Feb 28, 2009

I have one concept based on the idea that on a date, women can do nothing wrong.
If you pay and she is happy, you did good. Eat a slice of victory pie and wash it down with satisfaction.
If you pay and she is anything but happy, then think about what you did wrong.

It is not men who rule the world. It is our counter-part.

20MoreMiles · Feb 28, 2009

paul123 said:
I have one concept based on the idea that on a date, women can do nothing wrong.

What is wrong with you man? Women are not goddesses just because they're of the different gender.

dayhiker · Feb 28, 2009

I'm for dutch ...
When I was you I paid for everything. After I was divorced where my EX got hald of everything. Which I agree with. But since they get half at the end, I'd like them to pay half at the beginning.

dayhiker

traingosorry · Feb 28, 2009

dayhiker said:
I'm for dutch ...
After I was divorced where my EX got hald of everything. Which I agree with. But since they get half at the end, I'd like them to pay half at the beginning.

dayhiker

Gwendolyn · Feb 28, 2009

paul123 said:
I have one concept based on the idea that on a date, women can do nothing wrong.
If you pay and she is happy, you did good. Eat a slice of victory pie and wash it down with satisfaction.
If you pay and she is anything but happy, then think about what you did wrong.

It is not men who rule the world. It is our counter-part.

They can totally do things wrong... they can be rude, talk only about themselves, be selfish and rude to the server, say inappropriate things. If she isn't happy, either she's a bit of a priss, or you've been saying some weird things and behaving inappropriately.

puddleoffaith · Feb 28, 2009

If a man asks me out on a date ad doesn't offer to pay, there will be no second date. That being said, I always offer (although usually refused). After the first date, it really depends on who is working, who asks and where you're going.

In my last relationship he almost always paid, and the few times I did pay I had to tell him ahead of time that I was paying and STILL fight him for the bill. However, even to this day I still wish I had have paid more or at least baked things for him more often in return because I feel like I still "owe" him somehow. However, I have enough sense not to send him a cheque in he mail.

sweetlambofgod · Feb 28, 2009

Or if were not happy maybe were just not that into you

GlennK · Feb 28, 2009

to be honest, it doesn't matter who pays for the date... either the girls digs your or she dudnt.

Dates and Paying

Well-Known Member

Wish you were here

I'm a leaf on the wind. . .watch how I soar

Senior Member

It's just me, always has been, always will be.

Regular Member

with Chuck Mangione

Mature veteran

I'm what Willis was talkin' bout.

back in black

Veteran

Legend

GlennK

Guest

Similar threads

Privacy & Transparency

Privacy & Transparency