Dancing with someone who is not your spouse?

[GirlieGirl]

Okay? Not okay? Let's put in the context of:

1) Your spouse is in the same room and can see.
2) No freaky nasty dancing
3) You do not have intentions of committing adultery with this person

Under those circumstances, would it be okay to dance with someone who is not your spouse?

Hubby says nuh-uh with a capital NUH and a capital UH. So that's what I have to respect just because it would hurt him otherwise. But what do you other couples think?

 

[andiesmama]

My first thought was like at a wedding reception or something like that...in the instances you gave me, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

But...(isn't there always one of those? lol)...if my hubby were against it, of course I would agree to his wishes!

I wouldn't have a problem with my hubby dancing with another gal in this case, either...

 

[Grishnak]

depends.

If its family or something or like andiesmama said, a wedding or special event, Id say ok to it.

But going out to a club and just dancing with another woman....for me, no way.
Of course, Id not be in a club to begin with

If she wanted to dance with just some guy, Id really have to wonder what the motivation was.
And are we talking slow dancing or square dancing or line dancing or......

 

[someone_else]

lol i think its ok. depends on who you are dancing with. before i was married but with my now husband we went to a party and one of teh other guests asked me to dance then before i could answer asked elmo if it was ok and he said yes so off we went to the dance floor.

now that im married i think if it was a mutual friend yes but not with someone who my husband does not know. just coz if its someone elmo knows and trusts thats ok coz all 3 would know its just a bit of fun. but if he does not know them the issue would not be if he trusted me but if he trusted the guy

hope that made sense

 

[seebs]

Depends on whom and why. My wife mostly does club-style dancing, where "with someone" is pretty ill-defined. But... I dunno. Dancing with friends seems fine to me. It's a social activity I don't do. My wife doesn't object to me playing board games with my friends.

I think your husband views dancing as inherently a courtship activity, perhaps?

 

[LynnMcG]

I'm reading this post thinking, dance? Who gets to dance?

I only get to dance with my husband at weddings! Oh, and in the kitchen when we're waiting for dinner to cook.

 

[miracle26]

I thinks its ok if it is family or something, but I would never do it if it were a guy friend.

 

[GirlieGirl]

I think your husband views dancing as inherently a courtship activity, perhaps?

Yep, I think you've got it. He really doesn't enjoy dancing except the part about being close and romantic. I love to dance and move to the rhythm. So my motivation comes from a different desire. But alas, my man just doesn't want to do it. No dancing for me

 

[seebs]

Bleh. That's hard, but... I think you're right to accept this. On the other hand, it would be good if he could understand that dance isn't like that for you.

In the mean time, get a copy of Dance Dance Revolution!

 

[E-beth]

I only get to dance at wedding receptions, but when we do go to where there is dancing I almost always dance with hubby. But if someone else wanted to dance with me, I would ask hubby first. More than likely he wouldn't mind.

But the bump and grind is reserved just for him.

 

[I'ddie4him]

I'm reading this post thinking, dance? Who gets to dance?

I only get to dance with my husband at weddings! Oh, and in the kitchen when we're waiting for dinner to cook.

HAHA, Yeah, I know the feeling. My wife and I have only been out on one actual DATE since we got married almost 4 years ago. As far as dancing goes, I have no problem with her dancing with another guy, I trust her. I would only hope that she trusts me just as much.

 

[seebs]

Ironically, spouse most often goes dancing with a friend of the opposite sex... who is gay. Thus, IMHO, non-threatening.

 

[HollyWood]

It's hard when one partner would rather sit it out and the other wants to just get up and dance. That would describe my husband and I very well.

However, we've been married for over 20 years, and trust and respect are paramount in our relationship. I do know for a fact though, that my husband wouldn't object at all. He wouldn't deprive me of my fun due to the fact that he can't/won't dance. However, I'm the one that won't dance without him, because it just doesn't feel right to me. Go figure. *shrug*

my $.02

 

[ZooMom]

This is something that is very familiar to me. I love to dance, almost made a career of it, and my husband doesn't dance at all. Sometimes I can bully him into it, on special occasions, but as far as dancing with other people...it would greatly depend. The occasion, the style of dancing, the other person...these are all things that have to be considered. Could I dance with my cousin at a family gathering? Of course. Could I dance with my cousin's friend at the same gathering? Nope. It doesn't bother me though. I am not comfortable with people being in my 'space', especially men. I'm like you, though, when I hear music I just have to move. So what do I do? I dance with girlfriends. Whenever we go out it is usually with other couples, and most of our male friends are like my husband...not dancers. So we girls will 'get our groove on' together, and then drag our hubbys out for the slow dances. Sounds like high-school, doesn't it? The next time you go out, take some other friends with you, and you girls can dance to your heart's content, without worrying about causing either you or your husband to feel uncomfortable or suppressed.

And speaking of bullying...LOL...I've been working on a 'deal' with my husband, that before our 20th anniversary he will take ballroom dancing lessons with me. That way he won't have to buy me the really big diamond anniversary ring I wanted instead.

We'll have our 16th this July, so he's starting to take me seriously.

Peace be with you!

Sandy

 

[I'ddie4him]

This is something that is very familiar to me. I love to dance, almost made a career of it, and my husband doesn't dance at all. Sometimes I can bully him into it, on special occasions, but as far as dancing with other people...it would greatly depend. The occasion, the style of dancing, the other person...these are all things that have to be considered. Could I dance with my cousin at a family gathering? Of course. Could I dance with my cousin's friend at the same gathering? Nope. It doesn't bother me though. I am not comfortable with people being in my 'space', especially men. I'm like you, though, when I hear music I just have to move. So what do I do? I dance with girlfriends. Whenever we go out it is usually with other couples, and most of our male friends are like my husband...not dancers. So we girls will 'get our groove on' together, and then drag our hubbys out for the slow dances. Sounds like high-school, doesn't it? The next time you go out, take some other friends with you, and you girls can dance to your heart's content, without worrying about causing either you or your husband to feel uncomfortable or suppressed.

And speaking of bullying...LOL...I've been working on a 'deal' with my husband, that before our 20th anniversary he will take ballroom dancing lessons with me. That way he won't have to buy me the really big diamond anniversary ring I wanted instead.

We'll have our 16th this July, so he's starting to take me seriously.

Peace be with you!

Sandy

NOT FAIR !!!!!!!!!!
That amounts to bribery.
E-beth has tried to get me interested in shows like Pippin and stuff like that.
I like my Action / Adventure movies. LOTR bored me to tears. Sorry honey.

 

[elm0]

I personally don't see any problem with it. There should be enough trust between spouses that it doesn't matter if one of them dances with another person. As someone_else has already said, we've had that situation before we were married. It didn't bother me what the other person might be thinking, because I trusted that all she wanted was to dance.

But, as others have said, if your spouse has a problem with it, then its great that you respect that.

 

[lin1235]

It would depend entirely on the situation... but obviously that means that there are situations where I would find it OK. For example, if we're at a wedding and a mutual friend doesn't have a partner but would like to dance, I might dance with him if asked... but would first ask dh if it's OK by him. But mostly I don't LIKE dancing with anybody other than my husband! I'm in the same I-love-to-dance-he-doesn't boat though so that does mean I don't dance very often.

 

[karla]

My hubby wasn't a big fan of dancing when we met, I was. He soon realized that if he didn't dance with me other guys may try to. He now dances With that said, after we have been married I have danced with aother guy, fast and slow, but it was fine with DH. The guy is a friend of ours that didn't have a girlfriend and we were at a Christmas party. I would never do anything that would hurt DH's feelings.

 

[philknowles]

I'd have to say no way if it's some guy you don't know(at a party with a bunch of people). In my case, if my wife danced with our mutual friends, sure, it's ok...unless I knew he had a liking to her. Then, I'd have to judge his intentions. If it was one of her guy friends(the ones that I know would hit on her...have hit on her quite a few times, even after being married), I would say no to that. Same goes for me, I wouldn't dance with another woman, except my wife. Besides, why would we want to dance with someone else?

 

[Evie]

Okay? Not okay? Let's put in the context of:

1) Your spouse is in the same room and can see.
2) No freaky nasty dancing
3) You do not have intentions of committing adultery with this person

Under those circumstances, would it be okay to dance with someone who is not your spouse?

Hubby says nuh-uh with a capital NUH and a capital UH. So that's what I have to respect just because it would hurt him otherwise. But what do you other couples think?

just my opion,but why would you want to? no,no,no!!!