Dancing (at) Weddings ..

[Flynmonkie]

And the one thing that our friend failed to mention was the Spurgeon changed his position on this later and quit. Not that it matters greatly to me, Spurgeon isn't my example...

I actually like this quote from Spurgeon, however I realize it can be taken wrong in the wrong context. So I'll just bet he had to eat those words, but I understood him.......

I guess my comment would be...
Though God has given us many blessings and rights, we should be willing to give them up if it would help someone to know Christ....Max Lucado study Bible pg 1396 note for 1 Corinthians 8

I am willing, but many things out there you really should not have to.

It is just that simple.

When I read through all of this it reminds me of a proverb....
For as He thinks in his heart...so is he! (Prov 23:v7)
Interesting point to ponder 'eh?

daveleau! This has been my suspicion all along...Thanks for the heads up on the book....I will definitely check it out!

 

[Cright]

I'll be married in July.

I will be having dancing at my reception. It's been my dream since I was a little girl to dance a "first dance" with my husband. We are going to get some quick lessons soon her, so that we look nice too!

John and are are VERY particular with our song lists, who can and cannot be played. We both feel that we have a pretty mature list of guests, and along with being strict on song/music selections we should not have to worry about anyone acting inappropriately at our wedding.

For me what it comes down to is this:

If someone opens their mouth to speak, it could be sinful
If someone dances they could do so sinfully
If someone drinks it could be sinful
If someone listens to music it could be sinful
If someone drives a car it could be sinful (sleepy and get in accident, under age, carelessly ect)
If someone reads books, they could read sinful material.
If someone is on the internet we could be exposing our self to sinfulness.

What I've learned from the bible is that we must do everything for the glory of the Lord. I've learned that we should not do things that are sinful. I've learned that we should be examples for the lost. I've learned that we should show our Love for God by Loving others.

Therefore, I will dance for the Lord and be a good example. I will have a wine toast (no other alchoal) in celebration. I will play music that is fitting for the occasion (secular and Christian). I will celebrate one of the greatest days of my life. Celebrate my Christian life. I will celebrate having a whole new family to love.

That being said, I am not having my reception in a church either.

...and if anyone is wondering, there is not a guest that will be in the room that I will have any problem asking to change their behavior (dancing or otherwise) if it is not fit for the Lord. I won't need a yard stick.


Carina

 

[Flynmonkie]

Amen! Congratulations!!!

 

[_sunshinegirl]

My churchs reason as to why :

The policy about dancing has been around a long time. I am not really sure of the origin although I have been told that it probably has to do with dancing in the 1800"s. At that time dancing was often done in saloons and so Christians chose not to dance. I don't know if that is actually the reason or not. Most people in the church have no problem with dancing, but in todays culture, it is often done in a suggestive manner and so the church has chosen not to allow it. We then don't have to set limits as to what is acceptable and what is not.

 

[Flynmonkie]

Sounds like a reasonable answer. I wonder if you could ask them, with your scriptural backing, if a Father daughter dance, or Mother son dance, or bride groom dance, could be acceptable?

Another thing our church does is ask to "approve" any music used. But of course dancing is not allowed. What is strange is that our plays - it is allowed - while depicting the Bible.

 

[Ginny]

Again, there is nothing inheritantly wrong with dancing. No one can deny that.

There are always situations and risks that can occur with "allowed dancing" and I think it is honorary that the church has policies in place to protect "God's church". It is b/c of the results of allowed dancing that I believe it is prohibited. To put a church down b/c of this policy is disrespectful. I don't think rules and regulations were put into place within churches just for the sake of making someone mad about it....it is looking out for the church of God, its sanctity, and what He intended for the use of the building made with funds that He blessed His children with. If there is an ounce of a risk that someone might somehow be vulgar then that is enough cause right there. Because a church will not know every individual that will ever cross the doorway of a church, these rules were put into place for a reason.

Has anyone thought that this could also be a stumbling block to someone that might not know God? They are invited to a wedding, the reception is at a church where people are dancing, someone gets out of hand, and the next thing you know someone is wondering how this could be happening in the house of the Lord....some might think this is a far stretch, but I think not. If anyone sat and thought about it for a while, you could probably come up with hundreds of scenarios as a result of allowed dancing in the church. People "watch" Christians all the time. We must alwayas remember this.

Like everyone has said, you don't like it, don't have your reception at the church. It is not about having to find "thou shalt not dance" in the Bible to have a reason for outlawing dancing within a church...It's about having the common sense that God gave us to use to protect His house and its' sanctity.

 

[daveleau]

I was kind of surprised that my pastor mentioned from the pulpit this week that he believes dancing is wrong. He also believes drinking in any amount is wrong, so I have to up the list to 2 things that I disagree with him on. He is a great pastor though, and is usually very Scriptural. I think these are both Baptist traditions that have crept in, in regards to him.

I just thought it was interesting hearing him say that after being involved in this discussion here.

I fully support the need to follow the church's rules if you are to be married there. I would not have dancing if they had that rule, or I would find another place to hold the reception.

 

[Lockheed]

I have never heard of anyone smoking for the Lord. Your logic has severe flaws.

God has placed many things on this Earth for man to enjoy, I say tabacco is one of them. Like all things, women, alcohol etc, one can do so to abuse. Yet the answer is not in the banishment of wine or women but the proper application of the Word.

There is, as yet, no verses in Scripture that declare the smoking of tabacco to be a sin, no more so than the drinking of alcohol. The Christian is therefore at liberty to engage in such things to the extent that it nether becomes a habit or causes a brother to stumble. But to say that it will always cause one to stumble is simply without regard of liberty.

Smoking serves no purpose other than as an addiction and harms the body.

In your opinion. But not in the Bible's.

I am in no way addicted to my pipe. In fact I haven't smoked it in nearly a month, it serves to give me something to do when I relax and is calming to my nerves, that said it may be harming the body, but the rare times that I smoke serve to hurt my body much less than the daily inhalation of diesel fumes from the local buses and trucks... believe me.

That said, just because something is harmful to the body, doesn't make it a sin. Drinking Coca Cola can be harmful to the body, eating meat can be harmful to the body etc. Making a law out of such things is pure legalism.

Alcohol acts as a medicinal agent when a glass of wine is drunk each night and benefits those who do so. Also, Jesus did not disparage those that drank in this manner, as the Jewish did.
Dancing was done throughout Scripture.

Indeed.

Sin is the transgression of the law: I will not own to sin when I am not conscious of it... When I have found intense pain relieved, a weary brain soothed,and calm refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God, and have blessed His name.
C H Spurgeon
​

Alcohol is not inherently bad either. Food is not inherently bad. Intimacy with the opposite sex isn't inherently bad either. If all are done in the correct manner without abuse, these are all things that are allowed and exemplified in Scripture. The key is that each can and is often abused. So, if we abolish dancing and alcohol consumption as exemplified in Scripture, should we also abolish intimacy and eating? They are subject to the same sinful abuses. That is the logic here. If all Christians had this logic and held to it, we would all be home with out Maker within 3 months (the time it would take us all to starve to death.)

My point exactly.

We need to let go of our stubbornness about man's traditions and focus on Scripture. This is the most important thing that can be said, and if you won't heed it here, then it is not going to happen at all. Thus, I am not going to berate those who disagree.

I'll smoke to that.

 

[Lockheed]

And the one thing that our friend failed to mention was the Spurgeon changed his position on this later and quit. Not that it matters greatly to me, Spurgeon isn't my example...

Please provide proof of this, it does matter when you present something as fact without evidence to back it up.

Mr. Spurgeon's smoking was a historical fact, and the cause of truth cannot be served by denying it or inventing myths that suggest he finally "repented" of this activity. The fact is that he did not regard smoking cigars as a sinful activity, and he evidently held that opinion until the end of his life.
http://www.spurgeon.org/misc/cigars.htm

​

 

[M21]

I am in no way addicted to my pipe. In fact I haven't smoked it in nearly a month, it serves to give me something to do when I relax and is calming to my nerves, that said it may be harming the body, but the rare times that I smoke serve to hurt my body much less than the daily inhalation of diesel fumes from the local buses and trucks... believe me.

Reminded me of a little joke my wife used to say about my pipe smoking. "A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth"

Don't take this the wrong way I smoked a pipe for a time. Great when fishing or driving my boat.

 

[Ginny]

Getting off the subject of dancing, there are several things that are harmful to the body....

many are also stumbling blocks to others...everyone can decide on their own if alcohol or cigarettes or coca cola or meat is one of those.

 

[Lockheed]

many are also stumbling blocks to others...everyone can decide on their own if alcohol or cigarettes or coca cola or meat is one of those.

By "on their own" do you mean "for themself"? If so, then I would argue that this is the very position of Paul.

 

[Lockheed]

Great when fishing or driving my boat.

Ahhh... fishing and driving boats. Now there's real sins! JUST KIDDING!!!!

I wish I had time to fish, drive a boat and smoke...

 

[RED that's ME]

Most anything can be used for good or bad.

I've never been to a wedding with a dance. I know some people would be respectful in a church but some wouldn't.

David here was telling the people to praise God's name in dance. It all depends on the heart attitude and how it's done. When in doubt about a subject do a Bible word search.


Let them praise his name in the dance: let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp. Psalms 149:3
Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs. Psalms 150:4
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; Ecclesiastes 3:4

And David danced before the LORD with all [his] might; and David [was] girded with a linen ephod. 2 Samuel 6:14

 

[Ginny]

Lockheed-

since asked this is how I look at it...

ROmans 14:
13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. 14As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food[b] is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. 15If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. 16Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. 17For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

19Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.

Would you stop smoking if it were a stumbling block to someone...or stop smoking infront of them?

 

[Lockheed]

Would you stop smoking if it were a stumbling block to someone...or stop smoking infront of them?

I don't assume that anyone likes my smoking... but only do it when alone or in the presence of those who I know enjoy it as well.

Example, my wife didn't like it at first. Knowing this I did not smoke nor seek even to change her mind (it's not important), but as she met others who smoked (in the same manner, occasional pipe smoking of tabacco) she grew accustomed to associating it with other believers in God and now likes the smell and doesn't mind at all.

While it is wrong to coddle legalism, it is more improper to intentionally do something in liberty that offends another brother or sister in the Lord.

 

[BT]

I don't assume that anyone likes my smoking... but only do it when alone or in the presence of those who I know enjoy it as well.

Some might say that anything you feel the need to hide from people, even certain people, is probably not a good thing.

 

[SBfaithful]

I have just found out that our church, for wedding receptions, does not allow dancing. At the moment I cannot ask 'why' to our church members, but I was wondering if you all could help me out.

I mean in the Bible the lords servants are said to have danced with joy, and marriage is a time of celebration ... so I just don't get it.

Well, the thread has gotten a little off topic since this post but, here goes...

Amanda (my soon to be wife) and I are getting married on June 4. It is only 17 days away...oh boy! Anyways...I was raised a southern baptist and have attended our local baptist church in Houston for all my life. We decided to have our wedding at my church since Amanda (formerly Lutheran) decided to become a baptist. We now call it our church...Yeah! While planning the wedding, I had to inform her that there would be no dancing allowed at the church. She was shocked and brought up many of the verses that have already been discussed. I tried to convince her that dancing was not all that important but she would not back down from her position. Her main reason was that she could not picture having a reception without a father/daughter dance.

I felt for her. I understood that the dance with her father was important to her and I also remembered there was a time when I used to dance the nights away. So...the solution...

Wedding and formal reception at the church--everyone was invited. Inside the invitations there was another invitation in which only select (not elect) individuals were invited to what we decided to call the "after party." At the "after party," there will be a sit down meal and dancing, and if some would like, there is also a bar located in the restuarant where they would be allowed to purchase a drink.

One major problem:
Formal reception for 300+ people...expensive
"After party" for 150 people...even more expensive

If there was dancing allowed at the church, I would have saved a lot of money. But, I understand why baptists take the stand that we do and I respect them for it, no matter what the cost.

Her whole family is Lutheran and I catch a lot of flack for being such a conservative baptist. Oh well!

In Christ,
Anthony

 

[Flynmonkie]

Lockheed-
Would you stop smoking if it were a stumbling block to someone...or stop smoking infront of them?

Now I think we are bordering on co-dependancy issues. This deserves a thread of its own. Alot of Christians are confused on this topic/passage and how it applies.

 

[mesue]

Now I think we are bordering on co-dependancy issues. This deserves a thread of its own. Alot of Christians are confused on this topic/passage and how it applies.

Isn't a co-dependent an enabler? Like someone that offers their alcoholic spouse a drink so that others will feel sorry for them having an alcoholic spouse and therefore get attention?