Daily Support and Sharing

[Illuminated]

Hi,
I'm new here and thought I'd like to start a thread on everyday support and just talking about what's going on. In an everyday basis.
For me (as it is for a lot of you I assume), every day is different. Some days okay, some days pretty good and some days unmentionable. However, I'd like to share it and also support ya'll as well.

I've just recently talked with my family *sort of* about my eating problem, yet they don't really understand, and are not fully able to support me. I don't blame them, it's just they don't know what it's like, and can't be my only answer.
I believe most definitely that this whole eating thing is
a) a matter of trusting God, or lack of it
b) a mind thing
c) a spiritual thing

Me:
I’ve been up and down in extremes with this whole eating problem. From starving myself, to eating over excessively. And now, just when I thought I was getting somewhere with this all, and that I could easily get back on track if I mess up again, ops. It got worse. I was wrong.

I just started University and WHEW!! WAY too much stress and stuff!! Ya, and as you can imagine, my eating problem got worse. I eat for comfort and validation of my existence.. Sort of. When I’m stressed, and I eat, I feel human again for just a little while. And then I feel like a slave and my self esteem shoots down.

I’ve noticed that there is a spiritual side to all of this too. Society (which includes schools/universities), dictates so many lies and evil falsehood that leaks and seeps into a person over time. I thought I was a relatively ‘strong christian’ until I realized that there are forces of evil out there that cannot be fought with just me alone. Especially if I’m stressed and under pressure with the actual studies and life outside of school.

I realized that I need support. So I’m asking my family and some friends for support, and on here. God actually gave me someone who also struggles with an eating disorder and who has supported and encouraged me a lot. It’s good to know that God takes care of us. Trust however, is still a big thing.
Okay, so about the external support though, yes, God supports us of course, but that doesn’t mean that He doesn’t do it through other people! I thought that I could figure this out with just me and God alone. But now I see the value and importance of sharing my problems not so that I can just blabber on, but so that other people can support each other etc.

Kingdom:
Basically it’s this: we are in a war. Wether you want to admit it or not, we’re in a spiritual war. And we’re all soldiers in this war, with God as our head. We’re not perfect, but that’s not the goal. The goal is God. And looking to Him. The goal is for God’s KINGDOM to come, and His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. So we fight this battle for God’s kingdom. This kingdom we don’t and cannot fully understand, that’s why Jesus speaks of it in slightly confusing parables. But we do know that this kingdom is of God, and it is spiritual, and it can already start to happen here on earth, not in heaven alone. Okay, SO, we are God’s chosen, and we are in a war.
God has won the war, we just have to step into that with belief in the unseen. Which is called faith.
That right there is the battle!!! We need to press in to what God has for us. Each of us individually.
Our unique positive giftings, callings, passions, desires and abilities God has on our lives. The stuff he’s equipped us with. It’s totally like ‘special powers’ that’s on the movies.. Like x men or super hero stories. We each have our ‘magical’ abilities.
BUT when one of us falls, we have to help him or her up. And we can’t do that if we don’t know they’re fallen.

That’s my big lesson right now. I can’t be helped, if I can’t tell others about my problems.

And the absolute beauty of it is that we are meant to help each other. That's what makes us stronger, together. And some people have the passion and amazing ability to be a 'nurse', a person to literally help other people.

anyway, that's my BIG talk. Hope it's not too much for ya'll. Please don't think I have it all together, cause I don't. I'm writing this cause I'm not doing so good. And need support.

Please feel free to start sharing what's really going on.

 

[Illuminated]

Is anyone around?

A few days ago, I made it through the entire day without binging!!!!
WOW
A record!! It's been a long time since THAT's happened!!

If I did it that day.... why not other days??

I was out of the house all day... so I think that's what did it.

hows it for ya'll???

 

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I wanted to say GREAT JOB! That is excellent that you could go an entire day without binging! I have a problem with not eating. I get really stressed and I stop eating.

 

[Illuminated]

I used to do the same thing actually!!
When your stomach is so naughted up and eating food seems to be this duty that is too overwhelming.
When you always feel too full.
And drinking water is pretty much as far as you feel you can go.

Ya, I've had it like that.

Now it's the other extreme.

That's why I'm like, okay it can only be through God that I can get over this. Or overcome it.

It's basically just an obsession with food, or a negative, twisted view of food.
something like that at least.

good chatting,
gotta go...

 

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Yeah I don't ever feel hungry anymore. It bothers me, but it makes me feel sick to eat.

 

[Illuminated]

What's stressing you out?

I had (and still do, but not quite as bad) issues with my family fighting at dinner time and other meal times ... so this caused my stomach to seize up. And eating was out of the question.

But ya, what's bugging you??

Sometimes it's actually a physical thing going on... like me, where my body is having trouble assimilating food. I've got a whole list of self prescribed allergies. Stuff that makes me feel sick to eat. Dairy, wheat, and meat are the biggest.

But I don't know you, and everybody is different.

God knows you though....and He loves you..... no matter where you are in life...

Oh, I HAVE to share this verse:
(Phil. 3...at the end more..)

For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

There's more too it of course, but that's just a part I liked...

 

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Whats stressing me out is that I was raped, and there is a possibility that I could be pregnant. It scares me, and my friends don't know a thing so it's really stressful to have to go through this alone. It's hard.

 

[Criada]

Praying for both of you

 

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Thanks Criada.

 

[Illuminated]

*Thanks* Criada!!
I really appreciate that.

 

[IreneAdler]

I feel really out of it, fat, and disgusting. It's been a long time since I felt bad. Part of me thinks it'd be really easy to just not eat so I could feel better but I want to be a responsible mom. A good example.

 

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I haven't felt like eating lately. Been under a lot of stress and working through some hard stuff right now.

 

[Criada]

I feel really out of it, fat, and disgusting. It's been a long time since I felt bad. Part of me thinks it'd be really easy to just not eat so I could feel better but I want to be a responsible mom. A good example.

I'm glad you are thinking of that.. kids pick up our feelings towards things so easily, even when we try to hide them.
Hope the feelings go, sweetie

 

[Criada]

I haven't felt like eating lately. Been under a lot of stress and working through some hard stuff right now.

I know how hard it is to eat when you are so stressed, sweetie. Please try to eat a little, though... low blood sugar affects your mood, and when you are already depressed it really doesn't help. Maybe you could eat some fruit, or suck glucose tablets, just to get your energy up a little...

 

[IreneAdler]

I'm glad you are thinking of that.. kids pick up our feelings towards things so easily, even when we try to hide them.
Hope the feelings go, sweetie

me too. it's hard to find a balance between a healthy weight and my mind and self hate on this issue.

 

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I've been trying to eat at least a little bit of food.

 

[IreneAdler]

make sure you eat things that are calorie high if you're gonna eat just a little. I know it sucks but like my MD said... grapes and water aren't gonna cut it. ((((staying strong))))

 

[Illuminated]

Staying strong for Him,

Sorry I haven't gotten back to you on this message you typed. I must have accidentally missed it. I'm trying to keep track of messages on here. And I am concerned, and am praying for you.

... it's really stressful to have to go through this alone. It's hard.

Ya, just wanted to let you know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!
God is, was and always will be with you. He is with you, in you, around you, lives through you. He will never leave you or forsake you. And He never will, and never has. He has always been with you every single moment of your life. He knew you before you were born. He even knew you before the world was created. He knew you and knows you.
And He still loves you the same. He's never stopped loving you.
Even in the hard times, He was with you. He went through and goes through everything that you go through, right there with you.

Good book I'm reading that I recommend you to read:
'Power in Praise' by Merlin R. Carothers.
I'm learning a lot from it. About God's grace, and how we can view it wrong, and the power of praising God, and what that looks like. And stuff I never knew about the Holy Spiit and praying in tounges, and a whole pile of stuff you don't normally hear about, even in Christian circles.
He gets into some pretty hard core stuff too.. it's not just a book about singing or something (cause we can associate 'praise' with singing a lot).

I've cried my way through a lot of it.
It hits you like that.

Anyway,
I'll try to get some good quotes from it on here.... but that's still not as good as reading it yourself.

God's Blessings to you...

"Fix your eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary, and what is unseen is eternal."
Second Corinthians four verse eighteen. << weird to type it out like that!!

 

[blessedmomof5]

me too. it's hard to find a balance between a healthy weight and my mind and self hate on this issue.

Wow that sounds like me, A healthy weight, but who is it that is saying what is healthy in your mind? can we as people with ED know what wow healthy really is?
i know for me personally, when i put the weight on i hate myself, but when i look at it through the eyes of the Lord, and He shows me what i really see, is that rejection is a big part of the problem, if i feel rejected kinda tossed aside by those who "love" you, i take it out on me. i must have done something to deserve it, i am not worthy of eating,wow am i even making sense when u try and type it out, your mind is going faster then your hands.

But what i have learned through all of this even now with the weight on me and feeling huge is that i am not seeing what God see's and that is all that should matter

 

[blessedmomof5]

I've been trying to eat at least a little bit of food.

I have been where u are and at time still go back there, sometimes more often than not, but it is because that is where we feel safe.
, since you seem not to be eating enough, i suppose people are starting to notice the loss of weight? i know with me it can be the slightist amount and then all those questions start.
you need to eat something, and (sorry) irene adler it can be scary to tell someone to eat HIGH calorie foods when they are barely eating. yes grapes and water won't cut it, but just the mention of food high in calories is enough to scare even me.
what we need here are healthy foods.now i will not tell u what u should eat bc i still struggle with that myself.
what i will suggest is go see your dr, and decide what is best for you.
I see my dr now every 4 weeks as opposed to every 2-3 weeks like i was.
The thing is do you want the help? yes it is scary and yeah it stinks, but do u want it? it wasn;t until i gave it all to God that i could see what i really llooked like.
Remember We love you just as Christ does.
will continue to come back in here to see how everyone is , as i could not come in here in the past.
But with the Grace of God all things are possible, for those who BELIEVE!!!!