daily despair getting really old

[geofrank]

I’m very tired of fighting a losing battle trying to believe in the Christian message. I continually read apologetic material on line. When I find a good argument for the truth of Christianity my spirits are raised and I feel much better. But inevitably my mind will quickly come up with several good reasons why whatever lifted my spirits isn’t valid and I sink into a dark depression. The longer this goes on the deeper the depression becomes. I can’t read the bible because doing so makes all of this much worse. Actually reading the bible does more damage to my puny faith than anything else I do because a lot of it is just unbelievable and I see many doctrinal contradictions. The other day I found a forum for Christians with serious mental illnesses. It was very depressing to read story after story about how people suffered greatly, prayed and received no help. Their only relief, partial and transitory as it was, came from doctors. Their experience and mine as well, says there should be a verse in the bible which says that if you have mental illness, don’t pray for relief like a fool, just go to a doctor and be happy with temporary, partial relief.

My sister, a Christian, suffered with depression and was put on medication which gave her a measure of relief right up to the day she put a gun in her mouth and ended her life. As I struggle on I am coming to admire her courage and common sense in doing so.

 

[kaykay9.0]

First let me extend my condolences about your sister.So tragic and sad.

I totally believe God has given us drs and medicine. as instruments of healing. but I also believe in divine supernatural healing. in the course of my life, i have had at least 3 physical problems which the Lord just supernaturally healed me of. I also have had which either didnt get healed or were healed through medicine etc. Why? i dont know but
I know God does heal.


OCD tends to demand 100% proof and constantly barks the "what if?s" and life and faith just dont operate on that realm.

I would encourage you to treat your OCD ...yes with Meds/counseling etc. It is so much easier to deal with faith relating issues when our OCD is not flaring demanding the certainty that faith cant supply. Praying for you--

 

[tripletiger1200]

Suicide is never the way out. If you perservere the reward is great. I struggled with depression a few years back and spent many an hour with my favorite rifle loaded and pointed towards me, but the Lord delivered me from that.
Praying for relief is foolish if you choose to believe that God will not heal you, but if you trust Christ, not the feelings of faith you can muster up, but the living, risen Christ, then you will not be put to shame. Part of dealing with OCD is to learn to ignore the thoughts. It is not easy, but you will learn over time.
In the mean time I am praying for you. Don't give up, when you feel like you're at your low God is still right beside you.