I never call my dad on the phone. It has been 3 1/2 weeks since I called him and he called me today. As soon as I saw his number on the caller ID, I felt so bad because I knew I kept putting off calling him to a later time when I was less "busy." My parents are not together and I live with my mom and siblings. I am his only daughter from this marriage and his youngest. My dad cried on the phone today because he believes i don't love him and could care less for him. I cried silently because I do and was so disappointed in myself for not calling. It is a really complicated relationship I have with my dad, but I do love him and I am not showing it. He doesn't live near by and when I see him it is usually because we run some kind of errand together. I don't know what to do. I do know I will start calling him even if I don't feel like it as much as I can.
I don't know. What advice can you all give me?
'Daddy-Daughter' issues are quite common for we carnal folks. God put our parents on this earth to be our protectors and our guides in life. Not all understand this and as a result, most fail. In fact, they all fail to some extent because they are human. Our parents have the ability to love us the most; more than anyone on this earth. Or they can hurt us the most, more than any other person ever could! God commanded, 'Honour your father and your mother, for this is
the first commandment with promise!' That scripture always puzzled me. See, in my youth, I was a very very messed up child! To put it right down, I use to plot the murder of my father; that's how angry I was at him ........ and yet I really didn't know why. I do now. I was missing something that he didn't know he had to give. Human nature at work here, folks! The devil's on to this one. There's a battle being waged on a frontier very close to us. God and the devil strive for mastery ..... and that frontier is your own heart and soul! How the battle turns out is up to you!
You can not have a relationship with God - your heavenly Father whom you can't see - if you can not have a relationship with the father you've been given on earth whom you can see! That is the truth I came to realize! You've got to go deep, way deep! So deep it hurts to bring it all out, and put it before God and let the healing start! If not the relationship between you two; at least your own healing within! 'A Father to the fatherless is the Lord!' God didn't say, 'Honour your father and your mother ...... but only if you think they are worthy of it!' No, it's unconditional here! It doesn't matter who they are or what they've done; God demanded it for reasons that we can't even possibly begin to comprehend! But I'll tell you from experience; it works! The story of Jonathan and his father King Saul as recorded in the book of 1 Samuel, is the very perfect picture of how to honour your parents when they are the most undeserving! Take a careful read through the story of these two men; father and son. A very wicked father, and a righteous son! But Jonathan understood very clearly the scripture, 'Honour your father and your mother, for this is the first commandment of promise', long before Yeshua ever said that! And God did bless Jonathan for his righteousness. Read Francine Rivers book 'The Prince' and she puts that story into far more detail. It's an amazing read and opens your eyes to so much!
Now, does that mean that my Pa and I are the best of mates? Far from it! We do get on! To be honest, there is still so much about him that I don't like and totally disagree on! He's taught me more what not to do in life rather than what to do. But though I may not
like a lot of what he does, I
love him more than any other man on earth and I constantly ask God to bless him! Our folks aren't perfect and there has to come a point in your life when you have to choose to let love 'cover a multitude of sins'. (There are many different types and reasons for forgiving, so if you wish to ask more on that, feel free to PM me!)
May Abba bless you and bring healing and His Shalom to you!