citizenthom
I'm not sayin'. I'm just sayin'.
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CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
Curious...
- Thread starter Mrs. Luther073082
- Start date
Apollo Celestio
Deal with it.
- Jul 11, 2007
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1. Love assures a successful marriage. A
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. AA
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A
4. It matters what family thinks. D
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. N (for neutral)
6. The husband is the head of the household. N
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. N
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D
9. Letting out anger is helpful. D
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. A
11. Most arguments are emotional. AA
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. DD
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. DD
14. Going to church can help a marriage. A
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. A
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. AA
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A
4. It matters what family thinks. D
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. N (for neutral)
6. The husband is the head of the household. N
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. N
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D
9. Letting out anger is helpful. D
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. A
11. Most arguments are emotional. AA
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. DD
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. DD
14. Going to church can help a marriage. A
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. A
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- Dec 17, 2004
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Sounds fun! OK. Answers next to it in bold.
1. Love assures a successful marriage. D
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. DD
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A
4. It matters what family thinks. DD
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. DDDDDDDDDDD
6. The husband is the head of the household. DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D
9. Letting out anger is helpful. A
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. D
11. Most arguments are emotional. A
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. D
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. A
14. Going to church can help a marriage. DD
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. DD
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Yes, somewhat. Part of the purpose is it is looking for areas where a couple will "butt heads".
Our Pastor gave us advice on many of the topics, though. He went over everything except 8-11 with us. Our answers and his responses/answers were:
1. Love assures a successful marriage. We both disagreed with this (particularly me) and Pastor agreed with us that love alone is not enough.
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. We both disagreed with this and so did the Pastor.
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage.
4. It matters what family thinks.
I think Kirk and I both agreed that these things did matter but Pastor stressed that they should not, and gave us tips on how to handle family issues.
5. The husband should make all financial decisions.
6. The husband is the head of the household.
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care.
For 5, 6, and 7 we answered DD, AA, DD. Pastor went over with us ideas and examples of how we could make decisions.
...
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. DD - He said if you've asked a person 3 times and they still aren't doing it, they know you asked, and for whatever reason they just can't or aren't going to do it right now. So you may need to alter how you're looking at or handling the situation.
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. Kirk had put that he disagreed and I put that I agreed -- I got "the look" from Pastor for answering that I agreed white lies are sometimes OK -- then a long explanation and examples of how they are not. So that was valuable for me to hear.
14. Going to church can help a marriage. AA. Pastor explained that one aspect about it that is good is that every week the couple can hear how we are in bondage to sin and yet forgiven. It is important to remember you've married a sinner and important to remember forgiveness.
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. DD, 100/100. What is one person's 100% may not be the same as the other person's. In fact most of the time things are probably going to be lopsided in who's doing more or giving more of themselves -- we shouldn't concern ourselves with comparisons of who's doing what, but should stay focused on giving our 100%.
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Thanks for the rep comments on this thread. BTW, here are some more things from counseling in case anyone is interested...
Some of the essay questions were:
What do you like most about your (future) spouse?
What do you think your (future) spouse likes most about you?
What do you like least about them?
What do you think they like least about you?
The biggest difficulty for us to confront in our marriage will be ______________. (This is in regard to long term, chronic problems.)
Five years from now, I see us ________________.
Our marriage will last (how long?) and why?
Another tidbit of advice Pastor gave us was that we should:
Every day: talk at least 15 minutes to touch base
Every week: get out of the house together, also go to church together
Every month: go on a "sleepover" somewhere out of the house
Every year: go on a mini-vacation away from the kids (not applicable at this time obviously but it was for future reference)
Some of the essay questions were:
What do you like most about your (future) spouse?
What do you think your (future) spouse likes most about you?
What do you like least about them?
What do you think they like least about you?
The biggest difficulty for us to confront in our marriage will be ______________. (This is in regard to long term, chronic problems.)
Five years from now, I see us ________________.
Our marriage will last (how long?) and why?
Another tidbit of advice Pastor gave us was that we should:
Every day: talk at least 15 minutes to touch base
Every week: get out of the house together, also go to church together
Every month: go on a "sleepover" somewhere out of the house
Every year: go on a mini-vacation away from the kids (not applicable at this time obviously but it was for future reference)
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- Dec 17, 2004
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I'm totally up for white lies in a marriage. I don't mind if I say that I like the dinner, but then give them suggestions as to how to change it to improve it, and thus get something I like, rather than hurt their feelings and confidence, and they can do the same to me too thanks 
Sometimes, a confidence boost is more important than truth. If you're in the middle of a dinner party, feeling bad, and ask your husband, "do I look good in this dress?" Well, what is he going to say? No? Its not like you can change it! There is no sense in saying "no" just to be honest. Say, "you look great" and then another time help her pick out something better. She needs to survive a dinner party, and looking bad but having confidence is a lot better than looking bad and having none!
Sometimes, a confidence boost is more important than truth. If you're in the middle of a dinner party, feeling bad, and ask your husband, "do I look good in this dress?" Well, what is he going to say? No? Its not like you can change it! There is no sense in saying "no" just to be honest. Say, "you look great" and then another time help her pick out something better. She needs to survive a dinner party, and looking bad but having confidence is a lot better than looking bad and having none!
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Luther073082
κύριε ἐλέησον χριστὲ ἐλέησον
- Apr 1, 2007
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Actually I belive he said love is enough if its true Agape love and not just Eros.
It was more of "it depends on what type of love. Eros is not enough.
Actually my answer for 6 was just "A" you put AA.
True, but I wonder what he would say if I pointed out that a lot of churchs don't start their service with public confession & absolution.
Not that it matters because I don't think we'll ever be going to a church that doesn't start the service with public confession and absolution.
I think this is what I drew the most from the whole time.
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Sunset2009
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AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree
1. Love assures a successful marriage. Agree
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. Disagree
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. Disagree
4. It matters what family thinks. Agree
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. Disagree
6. The husband is the head of the household. Highly agree
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. If she's a SAHM, then Agree
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. Disagree
9. Letting out anger is helpful. Disagree
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. Agree
11. Most arguments are emotional. Agree
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. Highly disagree
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. Highly disagree
14. Going to church can help a marriage. Agree
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. Agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree
1. Love assures a successful marriage. Agree
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. Disagree
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. Disagree
4. It matters what family thinks. Agree
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. Disagree
6. The husband is the head of the household. Highly agree
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. If she's a SAHM, then Agree
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. Disagree
9. Letting out anger is helpful. Disagree
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. Agree
11. Most arguments are emotional. Agree
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. Highly disagree
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. Highly disagree
14. Going to church can help a marriage. Agree
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. Agree
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